WOOOOOOOOOOOO! Trailers! GET PSYCHED. A few trailers this week are just new editions of trailers we’ve already seen, like the new Dark Knight Rises trailer that everyone was talking about this week. I hope you guys didn’t watch it yet, though! It wasn’t Friday! And you know the rule: Fridays are the only days when we’re allowed to watch trailers! Honor system. But it’s Friday now, so let’s finally see what all the fuss was about. I bet Batman dies in it!

End of Watch

WHOA! I cannot wait until this movie comes on Netflix Instant! And I really don’t mean that to sound condescending, I just definitely know that I am not going to see this in theaters and I definitely know that I AM going to watch it when it comes on Netflix Instant and it is going to be a great time! BOOM! GUNSHOT!

The Expendables 2

Hahahaha, “I know pronounce you MAN AND KNIFE.” This movie is certainly not for me, and I was only going to make disparaging comments about it, but then Jason Statham said “I know pronounce you man and knife” and I was grateful for at least the trailer. But then Arnold came on and said “I’m back” and I hated it all over again. NOT going to watch this one on Netflix Instant.

The Dark Knight Rises

Hahaha. “This isn’t a car.” Batman voice. Obviously we’re all going to go see this movie anyway, so it barely matters what the trailer is like. But I wasn’t too impressed with this one? Not sure why everyone was talking about it so much. Batman definitely did NOT die in it, for example. But at least you can tell what Bane is saying, kind of!

Beasts of the Southern Wild

Awwww. Yes! This looks like an uplifting film full of wonder and awe and a cute baby. What’s not to like.

Peace, Love & Misunderstanding

HAH! The third trailer I’ve started talking about with a variation of “hah,” but I didn’t know anything about this before I started watching it and, for one, I am disappointed that the woman in the screenshot is NOT Alanis Morissette, and for two, I said an audible “HAH!” when Nate from Gossip Girl showed up. OUR NATE! Obviously I am not going to see this because I am not yet a women in the 50-100 age range, but I do love Elizabeth Olsen and think that she is perfect and has a perfect face, and I’ll always root for Nate. Sooooo. Congratulations to them both! For being in whatever this movie is!

Comments (44)
  1. Batman did NOT die in the trailer, and he won’t die in the movie, but I’m willing to bet he’ll be paralyzed. Then let’s all keep our fingers crossed for a Batman Beyond movie with Michael Keaton as old Bruce Wayne.

    • I don’t think Batman will be physically paralyzed in the film. That seems way too obvious for Nolan & co. I do believe he’ll have a lot of guano(b/c bats) beat out of him though.

      • Well this is the end of the trilogy no? Bane never killed batman in Knightfall though, right? He just broke his back. I could be wrong, I’m not the biggest comic book geek, but I did read that series when I was a tender young lad.

        • They’re not going to end the trilogy with a Broken-Backed Bruce.
          Batman has never died (officially. There have been ‘false’ deaths that lead to crossover events and all of that nonsense).
          Bane broke Batman’s back in Knightfall. Then Azrael took over until he went crazy, which was right when Bruce could walk again, and then he had to stop Azrael (fucking 90′s sensationalist comics).

          It is rumored JG-L will become Azrael. I hope that is not true as well. Not that I don’t think Nolan could make all of this stuff work, but because I fucking hate Knightfall (and KnightsEnd).

          • This is the story I know. Given his record, (in my opinion – this is the batman I like, or Keaton, but I know some people are adverse to it, an opinion I understand albeit disagree with) I think Nolan can do whatever he wants. he could do a storyline where Joker hatches a totally convoluted plan and an endless series of puzzles and pranks for the sole purpose of getting him close enough to stick a pie in his face. I’ll judge it when I’ve seen it, but I’ve seen zero Nolan movies I didn’t like, so it’s so far, a pretty solid record.

          • I want JGL to be some sort of Nightwing/azrael hybrid. I just want JGL to be batman for a little while, even if he is super tiny.

      • I mean, Nolan doesn’t own the rights to Batman, the STUDIO does. So if Nolan wants them to stop making this ridiculously profitable series of films after he’s done, he has two choices: he can completely destroy the integrity of the franchise a la Shumacher, or he can end it in a way that cannot be continued. That would most likely mean killing or paralyzing Batman.

        • A Batman reboot is already in the works. It will not have anything to do with Nolan’s trilogy. He can do whatever he wants, and he doesn’t need to sabotage anything.

          • Really? Wikipedia doesn’t say anything about that, it just mentions a possible Justice League film, which, quite frankly, would be awful.

          • Why make that assumption? The Ryan Gosling Green Lantern was amazing!

          • The Avengers movie is going to be great, but those movies all had roughly the same tone. Nolan’s Batman movies are nothing like Green Lantern, which was nothing like the most recent Superman movie. Put those all together, you get a mess. Plus they’re going to want to include The Flash, and I have problems with him conceptually. And let’s not even mention the possibility of the Wonder Twins or Marvin & Wendy sneaking in there.

          • Here’s a Collider article from March of 2011. It’s the first thing that came up when I googled ‘after nolan, rebooting batman’.
            http://collider.com/batman-reboot-warner-bros-christopher-nolan-producer/83025/

            A Justice League film is a mighty fine goal, but I sincerely doubt it will happen anytime soon. DC is so weird with their superhero films, and the characters as a whole are hard to adapt, because they are BORING SO BORED UGH!

    • What’s the over-under on JG-L ending up in a Robin costume by the end of the movie?

      • Not very probable, I hope.

      • Nightwing? Or would that be messing with canon too much to even consider?

        • JGL plays a cop. Right there, it’s a stretch to put him as any Robin. When they were shooting the scene with JGL and that kid who you see in this trailer, people were like, “Is JGL gonna be Robin? Is that KID gonna be Robin?!”

          I think Robin is a non-issue. Robin already gets a nod in the stadium scene seen in one of the earlier trailers (the R in ‘Gotham Rogues’ on a fan’s sign is Robin’s ‘R’). Also, JGL is an adult. Robins are tweens/teens.

          With so much going on already, I don’t see any need for Robin, and I really doubt any character will be playing any of the five Robins.

          • I also want to take a moment to say I am not an avid Batman fan! Don’t let my avatar fool you. It is more about an inside joke I had with my friend than any love/expertise of Batman.

            I find Batman to be the best DC character, and he is a pop culture icon that is continuously reinvented for SO MANY different audiences of all age ranges it’s crazy, but it’s usually interesting and somehow continues to be (mostly) fresh.

            But I have never collected or read any Batman stories with regularity. I didn’t even read the Knightfall comic books. I read the NOVELIZATION of Knightfall by Dennis O’Neil back when it came out when I was in 7th grade. The only time I did collect Batman books was when Bruce was ‘dead’ (re: lost in time), and Dick (Nightwing) took over as Batman and Bruce’s son Damien was Robin. It was really interesting, and I loved Dick s Batman, because he had issues! He had big boots to fill (and was constantly being reminded of Bruce’s greatness by Damien, Bruce’s snotty, assassin bastard child who at 11-12 thinks HE should be wearing the cowl, not Dick). It gave the characters interesting, relatable traits. 16 issues later Bruce was back and I quit reading.

            Anyway, TL;DR. I’m just saying, I’m no expert on Batman. It’s just that his mythology is 70+ years old and really rich with ideas for the most part, and it’s almost impossible to be a comic book fan and not know most of it, because EVERYBODY else is already a bigger fan anyway and you will hear about it regardless, much like any Brangelina news on the tabloids in a check out line.

          • Uh oh, now I feel like I need to make the same disclaimer. Are we expected to be experts? I just like badass red-headed ladies and would like to be able to kick bad-guy butt while wearing spandex.

          • I think you’re ok. You don’t talk about comic books NEARLY as much as I do on here.

            And I concur, the animated series’ Barbara Gordon is awesome, as are kick-ass redheads. #Brave

          • Phew! Well, the shred of cred that I have is my deep affection for Batman TAS (and, obvs, its Batgirl). If Nolan just made a live action version of “Robin’s Reckoning”, I’d be thrilled.

          • Hell yeah! I received the Batman: Animated Series artbook back in high school, and I must have drawn a master study of every single one of Bruce Timm’s character designs in the year that followed.

        • I second nightwing! just throw out all the canon and make him nightwing! Nolan said he doesn’t want to do Robin, but didn’t say anything about nightwing.

          Something tells me what’s going to happen is the exact opposite of what everyone expects.

    • Remember when Joel Schumacher thought “hey Bane has a kewl mask, but lets make him an unintelligible dummy of a bodyguard for the sensual Poison Ivy? Now that’s enterBANEment” that’s exactly how Joel Schumacher talks all the time.

      • Oh! Oh! Do Joel Schumacher pitching the Cage/Kidman debacle Trespass!

        • “Imagine a batman movie with Nic Cage as the Scarecrow? Now that’s enterCAGEment. What do you mean they’ve handed the franchise over to Chris Nolan? Oh fuck. But I promised Nicky a role! Get me Nicole Kidman. AND TELL HER I NEVER KID, MAN. Haha, she loves that joke, she’s a good sport. Hi Nicole? Hey It’s the Shoe. Yep, you got it. Old Shoe man. Shoe. Shoe Maker. It’s…hello? Nicole? Joel. It’s Joel Schumacher. Yeah hi. Listen you and Nic and burglers, let’s make it happen.”

          • Little did Schumacher know that once they were in the middle of filming, he would have to waste a week convincing Nic Cage not to want to switch roles with the actor playing the villain.

            “Nicky, we’ve already filmed half the movie. You can’t play the villain. You’re the hero!”

          • I could take these requests all day

            “We’ll get Platt, Roberts, Keifer, some Baldwins (get me the baldwins on the phone)…we’ll kill em. We’ll kill all the sensual doctors…but we’ll bring em back to life baby. And oh yeah, one more ingredient to add to the recipe…some hot smokey Bacon! The Shoe man is gonna make it in HollyTown!”

          • I love that you went to Flatliners, because that was what I was initially going to suggest before I went with Trespass!

    • So, this new Batman movie is going to be about 4 hours long, right?

  2. My dad not only gives the worse presents but he openly mocks every present that is given to him. This past year for his birthday I gave him The Expendables on Blu-ray and he couldn’t stop talking about it for weeks. Thank you, Mr Expendable, may your sequels be many and often. Also, please premiere Father’s Day Weekend and if you know Donna Summer, can you tell her to put out a new album of disco hits?

  3. Wow, I definitely cried a little during the Beasts of the Souther Wild trailer! And sidebar, can Jake Gyllenhaal please stop shaving his head? He looks foolish. The man has a glorious head of hair! Enjoy your hair while you still have it!

  4. I am avoiding that trailer for Batman. That makes me feel stupid because I know that my television will insist that I watch it 1-200 times before I see the movie. I also suspect that I’ll see it when I see the Avengers on Monday.

    • Oh incidentally I’ll likely be seeing The Avengers at the UA Court Street theater on Monday, then getting wings at O’Keefe’s. So if anyone knows where that means I’ll be and you want to see just how handome I really am, see you there!

  5. So, this is not quite on topic, but I don’t think I’ll be able to post this in the monster’s ball later. Has anyone else noticed that there is a Human Centipede in today’s Google Doodle?

  6. Why show so much of the movie in the trailer?

  7. I think in the Dark Knight Rises, Batman has been on the run and not shown up in Gotham for a while. He comes back to take down Bane, gets his back broken. Bane destroys Gotham and Bruce has to rescue gotham after recovering.

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