I don’t mean to pick at an old scab, but do you guys remember how much you all loved the show Lost? I know you’ve spent the last few years trying to forget — it was an passionate love/hate relationship that definitely ended kind of weird — but I thought you may be interested in hearing about this thing Damon Lindelof said about it at Variety’s Entertainment & Technology Summit:

It’s been two years (since the series wrapped) and we told the story we wanted to tell….I do feel like the world has not seen the end of ‘Lost,’ but I’m not going to have any involvement.

RECORD SCRATCH! SILENCE! EVENTUAL COUGHING!!!! Damon Lindelof feels like the world hasn’t seen the end of a Damon Lindelofless Lost?! BUT, DAMON LINDELOF, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!? Why can’t you ever tell us the full story about anything? Haven’t we already had enough of this confusing garbage from you, Damon Lindelof? Slashfilm points out that ABC owns the rights to Lost and can — and has stated in the past that it may — do whatever it wants with it. So could this mean that Damon Lindelof knows that they have something up their sleeve? And if they do have something up there, WHAT COULD IT BE?

For now all we can do is throw out some educated guesses, so I will go first:

  • Lost, but a reality show, and with children instead of adults. Like Kid Nation in every way, but none of the kids know how they got on the island and there are NO gold stars.
  • The entire series of Lost back in its old time slot, but in 3D.
  • McSweeney‘s style humor website, but all of the humor pieces — well, they’re not Lost themed, per se, but they each fit into a larger Lost universe.
  • Pride and Prejudice With Lost
  • A chain of Lost-themed lazer tag arenas.
  • Loooost: A TV show set in the mid-2000s about a bunch of teenage girls who get together every week and watch lost.
  • You Don’t Know Lost: A “You Don’t Know Jack”-style game show, but all the questions have something to do with Lost.
  • Lost Again: The entire series of Lost, filmed with different actors.
  • Lost movies.
  • A chain of pizza restaurants that have a Lost-themed pizza you can order, but you have to order it 42 minutes in advance.

Ahhhhh, I can’t wait! For all of these things to happen! What do YOU think Damon Lindelof was hinting at? Other than the things I already said? All of which are very good guesses?

Comments (47)
  1. Sarah Phillips is the smoke monster

  2. Will it be that alternate reality Sawyer/Miles cop show?

  3. Lost: This Time We Really Do Have an Outline!

  4. We may not have a Lindelof working on Lost, but at least we’ll still have that Lindelof sofa from Ikea to remind us of the good times.

  5. Hustler presents This Ain’t Lost XXX

  6. What about a game show where they bring people up from the audience to get insulted by Sawyer? Or a Who Wants to be a Millionaire style show, but when you get an answer wrong you get insulted by Sawyer? Or Sawyer just pops up in character in all of ABCs other programs and insults the main characters based on tweets sent in by Lost trivia contest winners? GIVE ME BACK SAWYER!

  7. Faraday was right. More important than HOW it’s returning is WHEN.

  8. They should just collect all my Videogum comments about LOST and publish them as a book. Comedy gold!!!!!

  9. Movie-of-the-week packaging with Smoke Monster as host, entitled “Smoke Screen”

  10. “Sorry Damon, no matter what you do, it’s gonna suck.”

  11. Frank Lapidus hosts a new version of Cash Cab. But get this, it’s on a plane.

  12. OR OR OR

    There is a semisequel series or movie titled Found

  13. Retelling of Lost from Vincent the Dog’s perspective, entitled “Lost Dog”

  14. Let me tell you a story. Let’s say there is a large square in a small town. This square attracts all kinds of singers. Singers of all types—funny, sad, energetic, sweet. The singers get a bit tiresome after a while, but all in all you can find some good ones.

    Then one day came a man who promises something different. He holds aloft a tomato. He throws it in the air, and begins juggling it. Big deal. But then he adds another, and another. Three tomatoes! But still, not that impressive.

    Finally, he reaches into a sack and throws into the air two dozen different objects—a bowling ball, a chicken, bowling pins, some knives, just an amazing assortment of stuff. He throws them up energetically, one after the other, waaaay up high, and now the objects have reached their apex. He winks broadly at the audience and we wait with bated breath to see how in the world he’ll juggle all these mysteries and questions—er, I mean, odd assortment of items—in his last season, er, last seconds of his act.

    So down come the items. How will he juggle all these items? It seems impossible! This is going to be the most amazing act the square has ever seen!!!!

    But the man has no intention of catching the items. He lets the bowling ball crunch to the ground. Then the pins clatter and the knives strike the ground harmlessly. The chicken lands roughly and squawks and flutters off. He does catch three round balls, and then he starts to sing. A song I’ve heard many, many times before, and done better. And that’s his act.

    And that is why the ending of Lost made me so angry and why I punched a juggler.

  15. Kelly, don’t get so worked up. That was just his fancy way of hinting that new LOST mouse pads will be available in the ABC online store.

  16. “We have to go back!” -ABC

  17. “We Have to Go Back to the Island” – An Amazing Race style reality show where the contestants must face real Lost obstacles like the Others, smoke monsters, invisible jars of peanut butter, etc. The catch is that they’re actually dead. I’d watch that.

  18. Let’s Get Lost: The entire series redone as a musical with music written in the style of Chet Baker.

  19. If you had to crash land on LOST island with a parent, which one would it be?

    Mine would be my dad. That guy needs a vacation.

    • One of my parents, or someone else’s? If it’s the former, then my mom. If it’s the latter, then can someone tell me if Jeff Goldblum has any kids?

  20. NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  21. Given how little I’ve seen them since the series ended, I just presumed the whole cast was still stuck on the island

  22. The contestants are stranded on an island with no outside food or water (but with added polar bears and people who walk through the underbrush at a weird frame rate that makes them seem creepy and otherworldly until it turns out, nope, they’re just regular people) and they’re not allowed to leave until they make peace with their dead fathers or get over their heroin addictions or learn to open their hearts and let someone in. Since it’s difficult for cameras to catch and communicate such epiphanies, even with the aid of some serious editing, every week the contestants are allowed to perform a short play in front of a panel of judges dramatizing their emotional awakenings. I’m thinking this show could be called “The Epiphany” because it’s a kind of portentous, mysterious title like “Lost.” Anyway, if the judges don’t “buy it” (they’ll each have a little sign they hold up saying “BOUGHT IT!” or “Back to the drawing board, mwah mwaaah.” depending on what their reaction is) the contestant is sent back into the jungle to try to mount a more convincing production. And this is where the strategy element comes in because everyone wants to enlist the more gifted actors and dramatists for their own plays but how can they know who’s good at what except through trial and error and rehearsal rehearsal rehearsal? And I forgot to mention this but as soon as three-quarters of the people get off the island, the game ends and the rest are left behind to die. So the jungle is filled with competing productions but since it’s impossible to be completely objective about a work in progress when you’re part of the creative process there are all these little intrigues and backdoor deals as each production tries to enlist a test audience from the other productions. But how can they trust the feedback of their focus groups when the AUDIENCE IS ALSO THE ENEMY?!? My God this is an awesome idea! And don’t forget, while all this is going on they also have to worry about food and water and shelter which adds yet ANOTHER layer of intrigue and strategy.

    And then after this becomes a runaway ratings success Damon Lindelof will give another interview and say something like, “See? Take out the mysteries and it’s still popular. Lost was never about the mysteries. It was always about the characters.” Mwah mwaaah.

  23. If I ever meet this guy in real life I will have words to say to him and they will not be nice ones.

  24. The Lost Lebowski. IT COULD HAPPEN.

  25. LOST 2194

  26. Hurley, Charlie, Sawyer, and Jin driving around the country in a VW van.

  27. This is weird. I just today finished watching the entire series — started out about a month and a half ago. I’ve been here reading old posts on what I considered the more WTF-ish episodes, and now there’s a new post about Lost? What?

    Sorry to say I was disappointed in the show. I thought the first season was great and had a lot of potential, and I was still engaged with Seasons 2 and 3, but by 4 and on through 5 and 6, the show had jumped the tracks. It started out telling one story and completely abandoned it for another.

    A lot of defenders of Lost will talk about “how do you expect answers to every single little question?” But that’s not what a lot of us who are let down by the show feel. It’s that a story makes a promise, and it is the creator of that story’s job to follow through on that promise. If s/he does not honor that promise, the audience is going to feel ripped off. (Nancy Kress talks about this in her writing guide Beginnings, Middles, and Ends — calls it “the implicit promise.”)

    I loved that Sayid, after resorting to torture to try and get Shannon’s asthma medicine from Sawyer, felt ashamed and attempted to exile himself. I think the show should have followed that path with that character. Instead he becomes a full-on torturer/assassin in a tired action-adventure film. What happened to his deep guilt over his torturing past?

    Ben seemed pretty important to the overall mythos of the show. What happened there? He flipped-flopped more than that poor fish in that one music video from the early ’90s, and I still feel like they never managed to bring the writing to the same level of the acting Michael Emerson did and was capable of.

    Jin and Sun are perfectly OK with Jin committing suicide? Not even one peep about Jin Yeon needing a parent? Just no.

    And that totally weirdo episode with Allison Janey had a chance, I think, to tie some stuff together but just ended up muddying the waters more. I thought that maybe Janey’s character was the lover of a god, exiled to that island — an island with mysterious power(s). And I thought perhaps Jacob and his brother’s real mother was actually a goddess. Because where did they get their “powers” and “specialness” from? And I thought maybe the fake mom was barren…or that the real mom cursed the island after her babies were stolen from her, as she was dying (cursed it so that women could not carry pregnancies to term there).

    I don’t know. Just all this stuff swirling in my head. Thanks, Kelly, for giving me a place to talk about it. I don’t have a blog, and I am loath to comment on post that are two years old. I should change my handle to “tardytotheparty.”

  28. In a non-serial, procedural format, Nikki and Paolo are killed in every episode, usually within the opening segment.

  29. It is a miniseries providing the missing link between the last season of Lost and the remake of Fantasy Island.

    Malcom MacDowell is Hurley after he gets hit with some electromagnetism or something.

  30. Keith Baker  |   Posted on May 11th, 2012 0

    How about the same story but with fairytale characters, or with the cast of Grey’s …….. Oh it’s already done apparently.

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