After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Star Wars Nose Picking Caption Contest, and the Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#5  explainer guy tries again | Apr 26th Score:56

9. pretend to have someone with you. table for 2. ask for 2 ice waters, 2 menus. talk to the empty seat across from you. When the waiter takes your order, pause, and say, “mmmm. That does sound good. I’ll have what she’s having.”

Posted in: Tips For Solo Dining
#4  Bubbles | Apr 26th Score:64

5. Keep looking at your watch and saying “I don’t know where they could be! They were supposed to meet me here an hour ago!”

Posted in: Tips For Solo Dining
#3  facetaco | Apr 26th Score:75

Eating alone IS the worst. Due to irresistible happy hour pricing and a gap in my schedule between work and school, I go to the same restaurant every week and eat a pizza alone. And it’s the worst. I am able to make it slightly better by making it as uncomfortable for the people working there as I can, without ever explaining WHY I am there at the same time every week, eating alone. Last time I went there, the hostess started to grab two menus, and when I reminded her that I was alone, she put one back and said “Oh, sorry, that’s just a habit, most people come in pairs.” I responded “That’s because only sociopaths eat alone.” She hates me so much now.

Posted in: Tips For Solo Dining
#2  lawblog | Apr 25th Score:75

You guys. I found the perfect candidate for Gabe.

Posted in: A Friendly Chat With Gabe And Kelly: Presidential Candidates And Late Night Comedy TV Shows
#1  huckabeast | Apr 23rd Score:90

Stray observations on some little clues I caught.

- Lots of orange in this episode! Orange, as we all know, doesn’t rhyme with anything. But “rhyme” does almost rhyme with “die” which is what Pete is going to do this season, don’t you doubt it, mark my words.

-I’m on the fence about the Tarantino-time-jump thing, but I like that it hinted at jumping time which is what Pete’s time is going to do. Jump out a window, along with his body.

-The movie that Peggy handjobbed at was called “Born Free” and it’s about a lion. Lions, as we know, kill people. Pete is going to die this season.

-When Peggy got taken off the job, Pete told her that she was taken off the job. Pete is going to get taken off of his life.

-Don was worried that Megan was dead. He should be more worried about Pete. Not that it matters, because worrying can’t save Pete now.

-No Joan in this episode. No Pete next season.

-If you look carefully at the beginning of this episode, you’ll see a man falling out of a skyscraper. He’s at the beginning of every episode actually. He’s Pete. Falling to his death.

Posted in: Mad Men: Orange Sherbet You Glad I Didn’t Say LSD?

[Ed. note: You guys OK? You seemed kind of quiet this week. Is it me? Am I being overly sensitive and/or is it my fault? OUR faults? Guys! Hello? Would anyone care to COMMENT on what I just said? Get it? You get it. Seriously, though, I hope everyone is OK. Great. Glad to hear it.]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

godsdog | Apr 24th Score:-22

Thumbs down if you want to see the opposite of “well loved”

Posted in: Facebook Masturbation Song, OR: “What We Always Talk About When We Are Talking About The Internet”

[Ed. note: Yes, yes yes. We made some changes to our commenting system and software and other gobbledygook I don't really understand and oh hey, here's a question, is "gobbledygook" racist? It probably is, right? In any case, the system is mostly back to normal so everyone relax. It's not like you were commenting that much anyways. See: above. XOXOXOX.]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. note: Congratulations, topknot. You earned it!]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

  bisquetaker | Apr 26th Score:2

I don’t think it’s very sanitary to prepare food in a kitchen with grass and dirt all over the place.

Posted in: The Scary Girl From The Ring Throwing Out The First Pitch At A Japanese Baseball Game, OBVIOUSLY

[Ed. note: Just to reiterate what is going on here, this was a comment left in the thread about the girl from The Ring throwing out the first pitch at a Japanese baseball game. Huh? It is a very confusing comment and I definitely don't get it, but that's fun! I think that's fun. It made me laugh for some reason. WHO DOESN'T LUV 3 LAFF?! Comments.]

Comments (47)
  1. FRIDAY. Good weeks everyone? Good weeks. Except for today, which I want to set on so much fire. BUT I DIGRESS. Happy weekends!

  2. What do you think, guys? Should we tell Gabe?

  3. Jeb’s comment in the Solo Dining Tip post is #1 in my heart.

  4. So my boss was in a pissy mood and took it out on me today and it was horrible so this is what I plan to do tonight!

  5. Bring back Well-Loved! We want Well Loved!

    Seriously though, the reason I haven’t commented much this week is that I finally saw how many pages of comments I’ve made (93) and decided to go outside for a bit. Also I was busy reading Michael_’s posts on Stereogum. There were great. Today’s scotch is Glenfiddich 12yr: “For when you run out of good stuff”

  6. It’s not you Gabe… it’s us.

  7. I didn’t comment this week because of the interim commenting system chapped my hide. Looks like we’re back in action though, so we’re all cool. Bring it in

    • Absolute favorite part of the draft last night. I rewound it about 15 times. The first 2 times were to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. The last 13 were to figure out what set of circumstances between Melvin Ingram and Roger Goodell could have led to this. The best I could come up with is that they made Chinese Fingercuffs out of Erin Andrews the night before, and this was their victory dance.

  8. Do you think the child from the stock photo used for the Monster’s Ball is all grown up now? If so, what if Gabe tracked him down and interviewed him?

  9. Yea! First time back on the Monsters Ball in a long time! Whooo go #4 go!

  10. I live in Montreal, so I didn’t comment much this week because it would all be rage against the fucking student protesters clogging up our streets, throwing firebombs into our metros, putting bricks on train tracks and attacking police with molotov cocktails and 2x4s because their tuition is going to increase by 300$ (to a little less than 2000$ per semester) next year. They’ve already lost the semester with no refund for tuition, which serves them right, and now have nothing to lose so are just going crazy. I want the government to declare a state of emergency and arrest every last “carre rouge” wearing, self-absorbed spoiled little punk in my streets and throw them in some sort of dungeon so I can go to work without worrying about the metro being de-railed or fucking FIREBOMBED. Get a job and a student loan, hippies! Your parents pay for your tuition anyway!

    • Counterpoint: Poutine.

    • Hey, show a little Classe!

    • Or y’know, conversely, the Liberals could open up dialogue about it or maybe even decide that 200,000 students protesting about a 75% tuition hike and not wanting to start the process whereby in 10-15 years time students will be paying a significant amount of money in tuition is discussed, and maybe there’s a way to not raise tuition? Like hike corporate taxes and income taxes on the wealthy? Instead of these austerity measures? But I guess in a capitalist society it’s easier to side with the ruling class most of the time so you can get work rather than oppose it.

      • Scholarships, financial aid, bursaries and grants are all being increased and extended along with the tuition increase, so nobody will be blocked from higher education for financial reasons. The reason Quebec has such low tuition fees is because over 10 years ago it was noted that QC has the lowest enrolment rate of all the provinces, so a temporary tuition freeze was put in place. The percentage of QC students attending universities has not increased by even one percent since this *temporary* freeze was put in place, which means that students aren’t basing their decisions on the cost of education.

        The reality is that the actual cost of education increases every year, while the amount the students are paying remains the same (gets smaller in real terms because of inflation). The government has not put money into subsidized housing since the 90s, Harper has drastically cut the amount of money that single mothers with low incomes can receive for child benefits, the health care system is falling to pieces because of underfunding, and on-reserve basic education systems need about 500 million$ to bring them up to par with provincial schools, and yet you want the government to direct this money to subsidizing the educations of those who can afford to pay their fair share. Again, those who can’t afford to will have more options once the government is able to free up funding for more aid to low-income families.

        If corporate taxes are increased, QC loses its draw for corporations and they will move elsewhere, which will be a huge blow to the entire province and will cost many jobs. Cutting corporate taxes in order to create and retain jobs is a solid strategy. The tuition increases aren’t actually increases, they are simply removing the freeze so that the tuition rate can rise to its previous levels (which will still be lower than the levels in other provinces).

        And as for the government not opening up a dialogue, they have agreed to extend the increases over 7 years rather than 5 and to increase financial aid to include middle-income families rather than only low-income. The tuition is increasing either way as the artificially low rate is unsustainable. These concessions on the part of the government are very reasonable and more than fair, but the students aren’t accepting them. I had sympathy for them in the beginning, but they lost that when they said they would rather see income tax increase across the board than see the tuition freeze lifted, and when they started using violence and disrupting the ability to go to work of the people who are paying for them to get an education.

        Most people in QC don’t have the benefit of a university education to increase their wage. This means that people who are earning less money than you are being made to pay for you to be in a position to earn more than them in the future. 3800$ a semester, which will be the end result in 5-7 years after the freeze has been completely lifted, is a very manageable amount of money. Students in every other province, all of which have higher enrolment rates, can attest to this. These are not low-income kids and single mothers protesting the tuition increase, these are kids who live at home and don’t pay for their education.

    • Hi I am one of the starving emaciated students from Montreal situated in the most corrupt city in Canada… I don’t want to follow the immense sinking shit the is neo liberalism down to hell with you bro….
      First off, Whether you are for or against the student strike against tuition hikes…

      There is one fact that is undeniably becoming too real and too obvious and too destructive to ignore; the governments’ complete failure at fulfilling it’s mandate. (quote government mandate here) The ministre Line Beauchamp is regurgitating narratives about “ending violence and acting grown-up” whilst she sticks her pinkies in her ears and ignores any statement made about police violence supported by the government. An dreadful atmosphere of violence is palpable by the students who come out in the streets, but yet they come out… demonstration is the only way. The government is in the only position to end the violence, striking and the indebtedness of it’s youth. But that wouldn’t be in the corporations’ interest, non-non. Fight the youth where it consolidates and ignore their pleas, paint them as ghouls, or treat them with inferior intelligence and tact than past generation. Make them a threat and pretend that the government has the only answer. Survive the election.

      The striking has been going on for 11 weeks now and the bill it has imposed on the government has now surpassed the profits they would reap next year by increasing tuition. This leads me to believe that part of the government’s agenda here is to show some sort of There is no pride in selling out a public natural resources, there is no pride in mocking the fact that students are being beaten by a brutal police mandated by our representatives.

      The motivations that we are faced with go beyond the right to an education… it has become a cry for justice and democracy, the right to voice your opinion and tell your government what the people want… Speaking of education, is it right to not educate our children about the sort of political system we live in? I’m 21 years old and I have only learnt about politics outside of school ( until I went on to university) through my own initiatives… It’s mythos that universities serve the interest of the people in modern society when after all the most government funded programs are those which the government relies on for graduates to fuel their corporate interest.

      • The Liberal government in QC is simply implementing what most governments have over the last 3 years: austerity measures that will hit the working and lower middle classes with what are essentially wage freezes and higher taxation. It is interesting Old Man Fatima, that you mentioned that “we cannot raise corporate taxes” because then corporations would flee – which is the same rationale given for not raising income tax rates on the rich – they will flee. While statistics never, ever bear this out, it is fear-mongering plain and simple, it is a mantra these days. The market is allowed to have its undemocratic say on democratic life, but apparently this is ok. All of those things you mention: public housing, the health care program, and education, are intimately connected to the neoliberal dismantling of the state and progressive taxation system that sustained them across the world. As a college professor I’ve seen this here in the States, too. If you believe that social programs will be funded once the student strike is defeated, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I want to sell you. What is likely to happen is more austerity and corporate handouts, not less. If you want fully funded social programs, you should be out in the streets marching in solidarity with the students. Unfortunately the bounds of capitalist rationality often blind us to these facts.

        Here in NY, tuition rates have been going up and the government is attempting to de-couple public tuition at colleges from the Legislature’s purview to those of school bureaucrats, after decades of neglecting funding of higher education. When those of us point out that by simply collecting (instead of rebating) the financial transactions tax on Wall St. that remains on the books, and raising income tax rates back to where they were 30 years ago, we’d have a $16-$20 billion surplus and be able to fully fund all public education, we are ignored or shot down because it doesn’t serve the capitalist paymasters.

        In the short run the students are right: this is all connected. Does the working class bear the burden or the ruling class? Students in QC are refusing to get involved with the student loan system that plagues the United States, and they are right to do so. A lot of the anger against them seems to come from “we had to do it so you should too” mentality. Why not, instead, demand free higher education, instead of a system that is simply a money-laundering scheme for central banks (http://www.creditslips.org/creditslips/2012/04/the-student-loan-tax.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+creditslips%2Ffeed+%28Credit+Slips%29) or how most corporations barely pay taxes and this is why the West is in such a crunch (http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/29/business/apples-tax-strategy-aims-at-low-tax-states-and-nations.html?_r=1&hp)? Apparently we are trained to accept government bullshit when it comes from pro-capitalist stooges like the Liberals in QC, but when someone on the left demands programs designed for the working class it is either spit on as too expensive or utopian.

  11. Still waiting for the return of being able to see who replied to your comments. No pressure.

  12. “Could i BE commenting any less this week?” – Ms. Chanandler Bong

  13. Didn’t make MB again?
    How I feel:

  14. Hi I am one of the starving emaciated students from Montreal situated in the most corrupt city in Canada… I don’t want to follow the immense sinking shit the is neo liberalism down to hell with you bro….
    First off, Whether you are for or against the student strike against tuition hikes…

    There is one fact that is undeniably becoming too real and too obvious and too destructive to ignore; the governments’ complete failure at fulfilling it’s mandate. (quote government mandate here) The ministre Line Beauchamp is regurgitating narratives about “ending violence and acting grown-up” whilst she sticks her pinkies in her ears and ignores any statement made about police violence supported by the government. An dreadful atmosphere of violence is palpable by the students who come out in the streets, but yet they come out… demonstration is the only way. The government is in the only position to end the violence, striking and the indebtedness of it’s youth. But that wouldn’t be in the corporations’ interest, non-non. Fight the youth where it consolidates and ignore their pleas, paint them as ghouls, or treat them with inferior intelligence and tact than past generation. Make them a threat and pretend that the government has the only answer. Survive the election.

    The striking has been going on for 11 weeks now and the bill it has imposed on the government has now surpassed the profits they would reap next year by increasing tuition. This leads me to believe that part of the government’s agenda here is to show some sort of There is no pride in selling out a public natural resources, there is no pride in mocking the fact that students are being beaten by a brutal police mandated by our representatives.

    The motivations that we are faced with go beyond the right to an education… it has become a cry for justice and democracy, the right to voice your opinion and tell your government what the people want… Speaking of education, is it right to not educate our children about the sort of political system we live in? I’m 21 years old and I have only learnt about politics outside of school ( until I went on to university) through my own initiatives… It’s mythos that universities serve the interest of the people in modern society when after all the most government funded programs are those which the government relies on for graduates to fuel their corporate interest.

    • Stopped reading ‘real political debate’ comment after ‘it’s mandate.’ Don’t bring swords to gunfights, especially when those gunfights are for some reason being staged in the Monster’s Ballroom.

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