“Holy crap, you guys. As someone who has personally read the entire Internet from cover to cover today, let me tell you that NOTHING is going on. And I know that the only thing more boring than nothing going on is someone pointing out how nothing is going on, but at the same time, nothing is going on, so what else are we supposed to point out? (On an unrelated sidenote: it’s crazy how well the trailer for Sandra Bullock’s The Net holds up. If you told me that movie was coming out this summer I’d totally believe you. Spooky stuff.) Unless, of course, we are wrong. Did something interesting happen on the Internet today that we missed? Seems impossible. Between the girl from The Ring throwing out a pitch at a baseball game and that kid holding on to his grandma’s Rascal, I’m pretty sure we covered everything, but maybe you saw something we didn’t. Of course, you could point out that it is our job to find things and post them, and your job is not a job at all but is simply the role of the passive consumer, but if you were to point that out I would respond that there’s no SHUT UP in TEAM. Are you going to help or WHAT? Your mom doesn’t work here so blog up after your BLOGS. (Sorry. Seriously. Today. What is even up with it?)” – Sandra Bullock

Comments (63)
  1. There was a Topher Grace death hoax, but other than that, slow news day.

    • I’m an American so I was reading this left to right and got to the part “Topher Grace death” and fainted. Pretty relieved when I woke up, but there should be a *****TOPHER GRACE IS ALIVE AND FINE****** tag at the beginning of this post

    • A real tweet: “There was a rumor Topher Grace died. I know he didnt but if he died I think I would too”

  2. I thought that CNN/Solo Dining post was so well done from the photo, to the writing, to the comments, that you could have just posted that and today would be a success for Videogum. No sarcasm, that was an excellent post.

  3. Ummmm…..I saw this gif

    This woman just gets me.

  4. Floppy discs, car phones, and dial-up modems…yeah, it holds up.

    However, I did appreciate that they snuck a “clever girl” in there at the 1:50 mark.

    • I also noticed that.

      I think we should get the writers of Jurassic Park to sue the writers of The Net. I mean, why not? Rodney King was in the news today and Newt Gingrich was just recently running for President.

  5. Next week on Bookgum A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. I mean it’s not the internet but the discussion will be done on the Internet with fan favorites, Patrick M, Godsauce, Girl Philosopher, Stu and someone else I’m probably forgetting. So that’s stuff.

  6. I’ve been rockin’ out to the sounds of Republican protest music on the steps of the Supreme Court:


  7. Jack White drove around NYC in a truck all day today. That’s all I got. http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2012/04/jack_whites_thi.html

  8. Also, is the multiple pages for comments thing going to be permanent? I like that little number, I think it’s kind of rad to go to old comments. I have less than 100 pages of comments with both my FB Connect and VG account, I would’ve thought I’s have way more than that.

  9. you mean there’s other stuff out there than videogum? whoa.

  10. Not sure I get the gist of the post re: nothing going on with the internet today. Today I saw a photo of a bear falling from a tree and also discovered the old people on facebook restaurants tumblr. Rad tumblr.

  11. Thanks to a recommendation from Michelle Collins, I just watched an entire (first?) episode of the Jaleel White-hosted show Total Blackout, which I had never heard of until now, but which made me shake from silent laughter at my desk. I know it’s more long-form than you guys usually do, but wow. TOO funny.


  12. I’ve been watching this cat video all day:
    Other than that, there is nothing going on on the internet.

  13. I saw this youtube video ‘Dance Like Nobody’s Watching: Mall ‘ last night and rewatched it about 5 times then bought the song on iTunes and listened to it on repeat this morning.

  14. The only internet news I’ve seen making the rounds (aka my Facebook newsfeed) today has been really sad. :(

  15. And I did actually read something earlier today somewhere and thought, ‘Oh man! Videogum will probably cover this today maybe!’ Then I went about my business, and now there’s nothing going on, and I can’t remember what it was I read.

  16. I saw some baby polar bears.

  17. there are less thumbs now

  18. And if anyone is looking to go down a hole of disdain and hatred for the world around them, I suggest looking up the Heritage Foundation’s Pinterest page! Or not! Actually don’t do it, because it literally made me very VERY angry for multiple hours.

    Fuck you Heritage Foundation! Fuck you Pintarest!

  19. Hmmm… I don’t think anything can top the complete and total meltdown of Michael_ over in the Stereogum comments this week.

  20. How is the Lone Ranger able to keep his identity hidden while riding a horse? Does he ride a different horse when he’s a regular guy? Does the horse wear a mask? People would definitely figure out who he was almost immediately after he showed up.

  21. I’ve been spending some of my day here.


  22. My mom’s dog had puppies. That’s about it:


      Some questions…
      1. What kind of puppies?
      2. Where will you be posting pics of the puppies as they get older?
      3. OMG those little puppy butts! (That is a statement and I stick by it.)

  23. This fake Werner Herzog letter is one of the funniest things I’ve read this year.


    • It is insane how so many people in that post’s comments section are the dumbest. People think it’s a real letter, then other people repeatedly clarify it’s a parody, and then they all start criticizing each other about whether or not they’re ruining the joke or just not getting it.

      It is my duty because this might be the inner chronicle of what we are, and we have to articulate ourselves. Otherwise we would be cows in the field. -Werner Herzog

  24. today i made fake vg-style pop culture site called “trampoline time” for my web design class. so, there’s that.

  25. I started my new job as a labourer on a construction site, and my first job was to shovel and wheelbarrow sand into a planter. Every time I went to dump the sand and go back my boss would yell to me “More Sand!”. I cracked up every single. Thanks for making my shitty job more bearable Videogum!

  26. This is a weird spot to do this, I realize, but I am the biggest introvert ever, even online, so hello. I’ve been lurking Videogum for the past 5 years, literally. All of you monsters: I am sorry for creeping, but you are just too witty, and I never thought I could keep up with you. I still don’t, but I am here now anyway, because I feel like it’s been too long and it’s not like I need to do any public speaking. Anyway. Hi. You guys f-ing rock.

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