Almost a year ago, it was announced that Seth MacFarlane would be rebooting The Flintstones on Fox. Upon hearing the news, emotions ranged from “kind of upset” to “not really upset” and we all went on with our business with the slightly annoying knowledge that some day in the future we would see Seth MacFarlane’s The Flintstones reboot come to fruition. A reboot that no one ever asked for, not because they care so deeply about preserving The Flintstones, rather only because there wasn’t a single person in the world who wanted it at all. Well, I have some sad news. WE WERE SLIGHTLY ANNOYED ABOUT THE FLINTSTONES REBOOT ALL THIS TIME FOR NO REASON! From The Hollywood Reporter:

Now that Fox has scrapped The Family Guy creator’s effort for the planned 2013 series, an update of the classic 1960s cartoon is “on life support,” according to one insider. Well-placed sources say the studio and network brass who read the script in early April were not thrilled, with Fox Entertainment president Kevin Reilly telling the creator of the Fox animated hits American Dad and The Cleveland Show that he “likes it but doesn’t love it.”

The article goes on to say that Seth MacFarlane was given another chance at writing the script, but decided not to take it. (It goes on further to say that Seth MacFarlane has put the Flintstones office space on the market, and Ryan Seacrest was recently seen taking a tour! Neat!) And what I want to say to that is: HOW DARE YOU QUIT ON THIS, SETH MACFARLANE! As if we haven’t all been carrying around this tiny seed of Seth MacFarlane-related resentment for almost a year! Now you tell us it was FOR NOTHING? As if we have limitless space in our hearts for resentment (just kidding) (we do)?! I think if we all work together we can get this project, that clearly even Seth MacFarlane HIMSELF doesn’t want anymore, off the ground. My ideas:

  • Zooey Deschanel is the voice of Dino, and Dino has an illustrious singing career.
  • “Indie Rock”
  • Fred Flintstone never actually gets to say “yabba dabba doo” — people are always cutting him off in the middle. It becomes a thing where it’s like, “When is he going to get to say it?”
  • He gets to say it at the end of S2.
  • Mindy Kaling does the voice of a new character named Minda. She’s totally fun and goofy — a little self-absorbed, too, but you can tell her heart is in the right place.
  • In the first episode, the gang makes a reference to the 2012 presidential race that doesn’t really lean one way or the other.
  • There’s another family on the show and they have English accents and live in a place called Bedrock Abbey.
  • Wilma has a tattoo that she NEVER shows.

Just mix these into the piece of garbage first script and we should be on a role!

Comments (19)
  1. Maybe instead of making it a cartoon, he can use puppets. Is Jeff Dunham busy these days?

  2. Great. I guess I’ll just have to write my OWN jokes about prehistoric deaf people now.

    • Knock knock
      who’s there?
      Prehistoric Deaf person
      who’s there?
      Prehistoric Deaf person!
      Is anyone there??
      Prehistoric Deaf person!!!!
      *Is eaten by a Sabertooth tiger*

  3. Bringing Gazoo in from day one would get the feet moving this car again.

  4. Replace Dino with a live-action cat, who will be very large because all the other characters will be animated and thus small.

    Let the cat write the episodes.

  5. I like Seth MacFarlane but between the swearing teddy bear movie and this news it seems like he is really out of ideas.

  6. Bam Bam is gay and so gross LOLOLOL.

  7. Fred works at an ad agency. Barney is a chemistry teacher who cooks “blue rocks” on the side. Betty and Wilma have a secret love affair.

    Also, instead of the stone age, it’s set in a medieval fantasy world. With dragons instead of dinosaurs.

    I’ll take my check now.

  8. Pebbles and Bam Bam are en route to find an underground rave and have to seek out a local ConvenRock store to “exchange an egg.” Hilarity ensues as they keep going to all the wrong ConvenRock stores.

  9. Series premiere guest star: Ba-ROCK Obama. (If not available: Stone Phillips.)

  10. “on life support”…..c’mon Hollywood Reporter……the perfect play-on-words is all but teed up!

    “Nearing Extinction”

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