BEAR ALERT WARNING: WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS IS A CLIP OF A BEAR ENCROACHING ON NON-BEAR TERRITORY: THE “BACKYARD” OF A LOCAL NEWS STATION, WHERE THE WEATHERMAN USUALLY STANDS TO GIVE HIS WEATHER REPORT. PLEASE REMAIN CALM. WHILE IT IS TRUE THAT BEARS CAN SHOW UP IN ALL KINDS OF WORK ENVIRONMENTS (TV NEWS STATION BACKYARDS, OFFICES, APARTMENTS, THE WOODS), PLEASE DO NOT INTERPRET THIS VIDEO AS A CAUSE FOR ALARM. THIS IS ONLY A WARNING. WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE IS TRUE AND CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE, AND ALWAYS WHEN THEY LEAST EXPECT IT. LIKE WHEN THEY GO OUT INTO THEIR TV NEWS STATION BACKYARD EXPECTING TO TELL EVERYONE THAT IT MAY OR MAY NOT RAIN. PLEASE BE PREPARED FOR A BEAR APPEARANCE AT ALL TIMES WHEN YOU ARE AT YOUR JOB. THIS HAS BEEN A BEAR ALERT WARNING. PLEASE ENJOY THE CLIP.

(IN A SMALL BEAR ALERT WARNING ASIDE, THERE ARE SOME OF US HERE WHO ARE FROM SCRANTON, LIKE THE PEOPLE IN THIS VIDEO, AND HAVE HAD MORE THAN ONE REAL BEAR ALERT IN THEIR LIVES. LIKE THE TIME THEY WENT TO A FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY PARTY AND HAD TO STAY DOWN THE STREET UNTIL ANIMAL CONTROL CAME BECAUSE THERE WAS A BEAR ON THE FRIEND’S FRONT LAWN. OR ANY TIME THEY DRIVE ON THE HIGHWAY. THIS IS JUST CLASSIC SCRANTON.) BEAR ALERT OVER. (Thanks for the tip, Gideon.)

Comments (17)
  1. BEAR ALERT!

  2. Also bear alert:

  3. I love how non-chalant he is about telling everyone there’s bears in the backyard. “And I’m being told that Bill’s not out there because there’s bears in the backzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…”

    “Oh, yeah, bears again. That’ll happen. NBD.” – everyone watching

    • “This is the first time we’ve seen a bear on live television!”

      “Welllllll, we saw a bear one time, but, you know, he wandered off during commercial. Annnnnnyway, let’s get back to Phil Conners with the 7-day.”

  4. Kelly, I just watched Grizzly Man over the weekend. NOT COOL.

  5. wake me when there’s a Care Bear alert.

  6. On the one hand, AAAAAAH, BEAR! On the other hand, aaaaaaw, little bear! I am torn.

  7. Lots of bears in Scranton. Kelly’s Aunt Kathy has to lock up her garbage cans or the local bears have a feast.

  8. These people are amateurs. When we got a bear alert (usually a baby in a tree… Though the best possible was a bear swimming in a Valley pool), we had two helicopters on the scene ASAP. In our backyard? More helicopters! Complete bear coverage!!! Bears = ratings gold.

  9. Google what bear shit looks like.They’ll leave craps the size of basketballs on your front porch.

  10. “Big” Mama Bear: I’ve got a thyroid condition. So I hope you’re all happy with yourselves!

  11. ‘Kurt’s got a job to do, and that’s to get out there, report the weather, and get mauled by a fucking bear. Channel 5 is killing our shit in the ratings. Put the peanut butter on your chest, Kurt. Rub it in! WHO WANTS TO EAT? WHO WANTS TO FUCKING EAT?”

    -newsdesk douche

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