I have to imagine that, often, committing a crime seems like a much better idea to the crime-committer at the time the crime is being committed, than it does to the crime-committer after the crime is committed. Like when you thought it would really show the other’s school’s football team who’s boss if you spray-painted your school’s football logo onto their football field, in front of all of the cameras in the stadium. Or when you decided that it wasn’t necessarily stealing if you stole tiny frog figurines from the local head shop because they probably don’t even make a lot of money for them, and, really, people probably don’t even buy them so it’s better for SOMEONE to have them than no one, but then you make friends with the owner and hear about her monetary hardships and you realize that you don’t even LIKE the frog figurines. Or like when you murder someone, probably? Also any other crime. ALSO: When you and your buddies get drunk and decide to go to Sea World and steal a penguin.
Obviously breaking into Sea World and swimming with the dolphins and then taking a penguin home sounds perfect. That is a dream date, basically, especially if the penguin has been treated cruelly and you and your crush are trying to rescue it. But the part where the guy says he got scared the next day and just, like, threw the penguin in a creek? ARE YOU SERIOUS, DUDE? He could have at least brought it to Sea World wearing face putty and said he FOUND it in a creek. I’m starting to doubt that these young men ever loved that penguin at all! When, I mean IF, IF I ever steal a penguin I’m going to treat it much better than this. I’m coming, buddies! (Via VVV.)