I know it’s Friday, and on Fridays we sometimes feel a little bit distant from our normal work schedules, and our normal news cycles, and our normal state of being ready to hear some intense gossip. I sympathise and I empathize. But right now, even though it’s Friday, you’re going to have to get another cup of coffee, drink it all, come back, and first make sure none of it is left in your mouth before you read this next thing, because last night at the premiere of Jason Segel and Emily Blunt’s new film, The Five Year Engagement, SOMETHING INCREDIBLE HAPPENED. From Vanity Fair:

But at the after-party at MoMA, Segel had new love interest Michelle Williams on his arm. The pair held hands and openly socialized with guests like Robert De Niro, Elizabeth Banks,and Julia Louis-Dreyfus—although it seems that they’re still keeping the relationship somewhat out of the public eye, since Williams successfully avoided having her picture taken throughout the evening.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? And I didn’t get an AP Alert about it? WHY DO I EVEN HAVE PUSH NOTIFICATIONS ENABLED? My normal stance on any sort of news is “pics or it didn’t happen,” obviously, I have standards, but I’ll have to make an exception in this case. Now that I know what the world feels like when it’s a world where Jason Segel and Michelle Williams have held hands, I don’t think I can ever go back. Sorry to shake up your lazy Friday, but I think you’ll agree that it was worth it. (Thanks for the tip, Brendan.)

Comments (19)
  1. I saw the size of Jason’s wiener in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. If it goes further than hand holding he’s going to murder that poor girl.

  2. So what’s their celebrity name? Jaychelle?

  3. For how long? Over 3 seconds?

  4. I’m pretty impressed that she managed to avoid being photgraphed the whole night. Either nobody was trying and that statement is a bit of a reach, or she’s REALLY good at staying hidden. Sounds like SOMEBODY went to a private school.

  5. At least she knows where that hand’s been (up a puppet).

  6. They weren’t able to get a picture of Jason and Michelle’s hardcore hand-holding, but at least they were able to get a good picture of Jason next to Emily Blunt’s weed leaf dress. (insert obvious blunt pun/420 reference here)

  7. Maybe this will finally cause Emily Blunt to break that engagement.

  8. so that explains the seizure I had last night around 9 pm EST.

  9. Stars. They’re just like us. Except they go to parties all the time, and dress well, and have so much money they could have us killed if they even knew we existed, and they have crazy-beautiful sex on demand, and their toilets are made of solid gold, and some of them even get to go to space and they’re in movies.

    • So they’re just like me?

      • You only have enough money to have us left for dead.

        Inevitably this will lead to a scene where you say, “But… but I had you killed!” And we will answer, “Did you see the body? No? That’s because I was still partly alive, and I made it to a cottage, and vowed revenge…”

        GET MORE MONEY, BADIDEA, OR YOU’LL BE SORRY.

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