So, is this is? Is this the rest of our lives? Because Rebecca Black accidentally got famous for two minutes last year, everybody is going to try to make a terrible music video and be famous for two minutes, because even if you’re famous for people disliking you you’re at least still famous and that’s all that matters in the end anyway? And we’ll all continue to pass these videos around to each other, laughing, as if the joke isn’t the same each time, and as if the joke isn’t really ON US? Until the idea of the “bad joke song” is so pervasive that we hardly even notice when it bleeds into the idea of the “bad normal song” and then, as we grow more accustomed to it, the “GOOD SONG”? I DON’T WANT IT!

Though in this case, this is a pretty solid rule. Very interesting take on the idea of only letting a piece of food stay on the ground for a few seconds before eating it. Listen up, fellas! LOOK DON’T TOUCH! (Thanks for the tip, Sara and Camille!)

Comments (32)
  1. All I see here is the perfect reason to post a link to the Pumpkin Man Dance/Friday mashup. It’s Friday, jump into Friday!

  2. song’s called the 3 second rule, yet I wasted 219 seconds on this…this.

  3. I wish they had at least invested in auto tune. My ears are bleeding.

  4. The fuck is a 3 second rule? EVERYBODY knows it’s the 5 second rule. Unless you’re too slow, and it becomes the 10 second rule.

  5. Lisa Gail first developed her three second rule when she noticed that men never looked at her for more than 3 seconds.

  6. Laugh all you want, but apparently the 3-second rule has provided the necessary support to keep healthy both a long marriage and a bevy of singing background cats

  7. I actually think this is a lot worse than Rebecca Black, because Rebecca Black was at least talented in that “kid who gets occasional solos in the school chorus” kind of way. I can see how she/her parents would feel like she had a shot at making music. This lady is a grown-ass woman who can’t sing a lick but for some reason can’t resign herself to a life of normal, average, non-fame and is clinging to a sad delusion.

  8. Guys, I’m worried about Penny Marshall.

  9. Detached irony has become the national pasttime. We have only ourselves to blame, with our Napoleon Dynamites and our Das Racists.

  10. Bleached hair, fake tan, dark eyeliner, bedazzled clothing… she has quite a strong southern accent for being a Jersey housewife.

    No offense, I live in Jersey.

  11. Ironically, I find that where “So bad it’s funny” reaches the threshold of credibility is actually before it reaches a level of popularity that exceeds an invisible threshold. I don’t have this same level for, say, anything else. I love obscure music and film, but I also love popular things too. I have a higher “mass appeal detector” when I’m seeing something everybody absolutely adores.

    But when it comes to “this is a terrible thing, and yet, it is hilarious” for whatever reason, the 3-second rule actually applies. For example, The Room. The Room is no longer funny to me. It was funny when nobody knew what it was. When Tommy Wiseau wasn’t self-aware. But the more people who have signed on to the joke, the more my brain makes the logical conclusion that the individual responsible is successful, and I no longer get the joke. Because the joke is on everyone but the creator of the work.

    Take the difference between Ke$ha and Rebecca Black. To me, there’s no difference. They are both awful at what they aspire to do. Ke$ha appeared already successful though. It was never a funny joke because she was signed to a major label, had shows booked, was touring, was all over TV. She won already. So that she was terrible was not humourous. It was sad.

    Rebecca Black however came into the world a nobody. She had no success as an artist. It was funny to see her massive failure. And even after a million youtube hits, she was still just the worst. And unsuccessful. That’s why it was funny. She tried and failed. In an hilarious fashion.

    My point is, this is the real 3 second rule. Because it only takes a metaphorical 3 seconds for something terrible but funny to spread everywhere, thus making it less and less funny on a steep sloping scale. This is when the 3 second-rule comes into play. You can only look for 3 seconds then look away. It’s called the 3 second ruuuule. The kind of rule you had in school. It’s designed to keep my man in line as long as he knows the 3 second rule.

    • I see how you got to be a DJ. Excellent comment which crystallizes my previously unarticulated thoughts very nicely.

      • The DJ stands for Donna Jo, actually.

      • Thanks R2. I believe it truly…for all the slack we give “Hipsters” (aka, everybody) for idolizing obscurity and authenticity (often feigned or false, but whatever), the truth is that where this sort of Schadenfreude humour is concerned, obscurity is of UTMOST importance, and as such, I can completely relate to people who get more enjoyment out of things that fewer people are “in on”. I get far more enjoyment when I know that “Guy hit in groin with football” is a guy who actually got hit in groin and felt pain but went back to life. And I get far less enjoyment when “Guy hit in groin by football” shows up on David Letterman to read the top ten list and releases an album of groin hitting grunt-rap, and shows up in a Dr Pepper ad. As soon as pain is translated into fame, the joke is dead. I GET YOU HIPSTERS (and by “I get you hipsters” what I mean is “I just validated myself, me”)

  12. Do we have any empirical peer-reviewed studies to back up this 3 second rule? If not, count me out.

  13. Why did she subject us to her camel toe?

  14. I would have expected better line dancing from PROFESSIONAL COWBOYS. I see she went “low-rent” on this one.

  15. I didn’t think anything could get worse than her singing. And then the back up singers came in.

  16. i imagine this is what killed Levon Helm. his spirit just couldn’t take it.

  17. Is it too early in the day to start drinking?

  18. Well the video’s been removed already, so clearly she didn’t want to get too famous.

  19. I do like the background cowboy castratos, though.

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