Hey, it’s me! Kelly! Writing about trailers! Who would’ve ever thought! What we have for you today are a few trailers that look mostly just fine, and also a Madea trailer. Hahah. ARE YOU PSYCHED FOR THEM? I don’t mean to give you the hard sell on them, but do believe me when I say that they ARE mostly fine! One of them has Mark Duplass in it, because Mark Duplass is in a trailer every week these days, and no one is complaining. Have you guys seen The Puffy Chair? It’s probably still on Netflix Instant. You should see it! It’s good! Let’s watch the trailers now!


Your Sister’s Sister

This is definitely a movie that you’re suppose to say “white people problems” about. And it is for sure an incredible “white people problems” movie. But, if I can be honest with you for a second, do you know what I think the biggest “white people problem” is? How so many movies are about “white people problems.” “I’m white and sooooo many movies are about people exactly like me. It’s THE WORST!” That’s what I hear whenever I see a blogger write “white people problems.” So can we MOVE ON FROM IT AND TALK ABOUT THE TRAILER? It looks fine. I love Mark Duplass and will probably see everything he’s ever in or writes, even if it is bad, which it most of the time is. So I will probably see this, even though I totally get everything that it’s about already and definitely do not need to see it.

Magic Mike

“Magic Neck.” – Gabe Delahaye (Also, hi Hank’s wife!)

Ruby Sparks

So this is like Stranger Than Fiction except from the other point of view and also a love story. That’s ok! I’m sure it’s going to be an ok thing to watch, if you like the idea of it. Like an indie Twilight Zone episode. And it’s from the people who brought you Little Miss Sunshine. Sooooo. Oh, also it has the boyfriend from the last season of Six Feet Under, and that guy is great. I don’t think I’m ever going to see it, but maybe you will! Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan are dating in real life, right? Those guys!

Madea’s Witness Protection

Oh, totally.

Virginia

This movie is not really for me, I don’t think, but also I think it’s a victim of just having a terrible trailer. So maybe it is for me and I just can’t see it yet. Those slide-y descriptive panels make it look like a low-budget Netflix movie, and the cheap-o nondescript music doesn’t help either. (I’m sure the music is something, it has lyrics, but it definitely SOUNDS like nothing.) (Like they wanted a Tom Petty song and hired someone’s nephew’s band to record something that sounded like it.) (I hope it’s not a real Tom Petty song!) So, who knows. Maybe this will be good! But the trailer is terrible!

Comments (23)
  1. Madea? More like IMGONNASEEYA opening night Witness Protection Jr.

  2. Paul Dano looks like River Phoenix in that still.

  3. Anyone else completely fascinated by Magic Mike and the fact that Stephen Soderbergh is making it?

  4. There was only one small shot of Alcide in that trailer. I demand a reedit.

    • Not a joke. Alcide plays a fireman stripper. Yes, I may have an Alcide stripper alert on Google. This is a movie that is coming out in theaters and he got like, what, .5 seconds? GET OF THE STAGE CHANNING TATUM. GET OFF THE STAGE.

      • Am I the only one that finds Channing Tatum boring and un-sexy? Yes he has a nice body but 0 sex appeal.

        • So you’re saying that if Tatum was all like, “Is this what you want? Yeaaahh…” you’d be like, “Oh. Oh no no no. Awwwwwkward. I’m sorry, but no thanks. Thank you though. Bye-yeeee…”

          I hear that. I haven’t been terribly impressed by his film roles and his appeal is very luke warm. He’s interchangeable with a large handful of other Hollywood actors, the reports of the bodily harm he incurs are off-putting, and his pranks leave much to be desired.

          • Look, I’m easy. I’d probably hit it if he came up to me and wanted to bump pocket books. But he’s not someone that I would seek out. He just looks bland with no character. Now if Paul Rudd came up…

        • I was wondering the same thing. It’s unfathomable that girls think he’s so gorgeous. Of course, I’ve never seen any of his movies, so maybe he gets sexy if you stare at him for 2 hours?

        • It’s his face. He looks like he doesn’t think much and if he does think much it’s not about very complicated stuff. And, let’s be honest, with enough diet and exercise and muscle powder and training anyone can have a body like that. He just… ugh, that guy.

          GET OFF THE STAGE!!! AND BRING ON ALCIDE AND MATTHEW BOMER!!!

  5. What, no Cosmopolis trailer directed by Cronenberg and starring everyone’s favorite sparkly vampire?

  6. This is all well and good but can we please talk about the disgusting, highly disturbing and possibly unnecessary ads on Vgum from the CDC? I come for the LOLZ, CDC. Ads are fine, they’re good, money makes the world go round but ICK! Amirite? Most monsters on here are at least 30 years away from having to have a lung removed let us worry about it then when we’re reading our Reader’s Digests online! Anyway, carry on. Ruby Sparks! I’ll probably watch it! On Netlix, only if it’s Instant Queable. Like a NORMAL PERSON.

  7. Poe Kazdano 4 life

  8. Ok, I usually try to avoid criticizing from a viewpoint entirely grounded in gender relations because I think it can beget a lot of problematic and entirely useless argument about something that deserves to be perceived in a different light, but

    Ruby Sparks looks…problematic.

    • Oh it definitely does. It’s like Zach Braff and the guys who wrote 500 Days of Summer got together and decided to write the ultimate Manic Pixie Dream Girl fantasy.

  9. So, I think I kind of Ruby Sparksed Paul Dano’s career, because about a week to two weeks ago I was thinking:

    “I wonder how it feels to be Paul Dano? He was in There Will Be Blood and then he just kind of faded away.”

    And now he’s in EVERYTHING. My brain is a magic typewriter.

  10. I would be more inclined towards Ruby Sparks if they had just knuckled-up and called it “Manic Pixie Dream Girl: The Movie.”

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