It’s hard to believe that it’s been two years since the Mel Gibson Tapes were released, those fascinating and entirely horrible glimpses into the broken mind of a very sad but also probably super dangerous monster. These, of course, were the tapes his ex-wife Oksana Grigorieva made of him during their domestic disputes over things like who should be buried in the rose garden and who was a “n*****r.” During the early summer months of 2010, these tapes were released slowly, like a morphine drip, if the morphine was made out of human bile and existential garbage. They were terrible things! And then Gibson and Grigorieva settled out of court. And then The Beaver came and went. And for the most part it seemed like the delicious ignorance of living in a Mel Gibson-free world was once again available to us. Until last week when screenwriter Joe Eszterhas’s inflammatory email to Gibson was released on the Internet, reminding the world that Mel Gibson was the Highlander of anti-Semitism and ego-mania. He had absorbed his father’s Holocaust-denial and enough Hollywood Jew Money that until someone chopped off his head, there would be no way to contain or absorb that dangerous power. Shucks. Life is what happens when you’re busy pretending Mel Gibson doesn’t exist. BUT SO ANYWAY, of course there is now an AUDIO TAPE to accompany Eszterhas’s accusations (as if we needed proof, as if those accusations didn’t just sound right on the button). You don’t need to listen to this tape, but not listening to it isn’t going to make the world any less dark and scary and full of stupid assholes.

This happens! A lifetime of experiences both good and bad conspire to create a human being who feels that it is entirely acceptable and within his rights to treat another human being this way. Let me remind you that this kind of behavior would be grotesque and abhorrent if he was upset about an actual real problem that had dramatic stakes and real-time consequences, but he’s actually just screaming because he wants a draft of a screenplay and he doesn’t have one. Human beings, ladies and germs. They contain multitudes. Well, not this one. Mel Gibson does NOT contain multitudes. Someone flipped the asshole switch on this bad boy and then snapped the lever off at the base and all the asshole repairmen took a long weekend. Leave a voicemail. (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (42)
  1. You know what they say. “All Mel’s rants end Mel.”

  2. Congratulations, millionth play of fun.’s “We are Young” by a co-worker who doesn’t know how to use headphones, you are no longer the worst thing I’ll hear today.

    • Gotta say, I don’t hate that song. I mean, yeah, it’s a band that wants to be Queen and doesn’t know how, but it’s still better than most of what’s on the radio these days.

  3. Sounds like Sunn O))) to me.

  4. He is so fucking Melodramatic.

  5. More like YELL Gibson!

  6. i can’t help but feel bad for him at this point. the guy is clearly grappling with some serious personal issues. granted, they were all brought on by his own poor decisions – and that’s likely why he’s so angry about it – but he’s having a really rough go at it, and legitimately sounds like he’s on the edge of his sanity.

    he’s in his own house. he can’t even deal with this in the privacy of his own house without being recorded and having it be publicly released? and to what end? to get Joe Esterhaus some post-1996 attention?

    i would like to cordially invite you all to the pity party i will be hosting for Mel and Pete Campbell. i’ve hired Kirk Cameron’s assistant to plan it.

  7. Pretty sure this is Mel at his happiest.

  8. What’s there left to say about Mel Gibson that Mel Gibson hasn’t already shouted deafeningly at someone else?

  9. This actually makes me dislike Joe Eszterhas more than it does Mel Gibson. If everything he is saying is absolutely 100% truthful and honest, then he’s enlisting the help of his 15-year old son to help publicly humiliate another human being for no good reason. That’s the BEST case scenario here.

  10. More like Yell Gibson.

  11. I will never understand how Christians can be antisemitic (anyone really, but hear me out). Jesus was a Jew. OK, for the sake of the argument – so the “Jews” killed him – well if they didn’t then he wouldn’t have died for your sins! You’d still be going straight to hell for original sin. So maybe you should be fucking thanking every Jew you see you stupid idiot incapable of logic!

  12. The sound clip of him yelling “PHOOOOOONE!!! PHONE!” is already my ringtone.

  13. “Who the fuck wants to EEEEAAAAAT?” will be on my new grilling apron.

    • This is my favorite part by far. Is he even still angry at this point? Or is he just inviting people to take a lunch break but he’s been yelling for so long that he can’t break out of it?

      • Yes. Yes! Max I’m pretty sure you nailed it. And then doesn’t he say “hooray!!!!’ ? I like at the end he seems to be going down a hall, still scream-walking around. WHO WANTS TO EEEEEEEEAAAAAT??!?!?

  14. At least Apocalypto still holds up.

  15. Unpopular opinion: I feel really bad for him.

  16. If I was Mel Gibson,– who has had more random telephone conversations recorded than a customer care line monitoring and recording calls to ensure quality service– I would buy a permanent voice scrambler app or something that distorts my voice like on Delocated and what kidnappers use.

    Then, whenever I was about to lose my shit on the phone– a thing we have established is very common (#PFTompkins)– but before I started throwing slurs, I’d hit that distort button and then go to town, just reaching new, previously undiscovered levels of bigotry and hatred. It’d be a good investment.

    • Hashtag ProblemSolver

    • So if you were some wildly irrational guy with mental problems you would totally take an extra step with this logical rational pre-meditated thing that would spare yourself some embarrassment and stuff. Cool. Got it. Good to know.

      • Listen you [redacted] [redacted]. I don’t [redacted] to [redacted] you [redacted] [redacted] and [redacted] [redacted] because I’ll [redacted] [redacted] all of [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]! Go [redacted] [redacted] stapler.

  17. What’s weird about this? This is how my memaw always calls the family to dinner.

    “Who wants to eat?! Who the f*** wants to eat?!!!!”

    Classic memaw.

  18. Whatevs. All you haters are jealous. Now a dude can’t get straight fucked up and let it loose in the privacy of his own planet? Clearly, the Jews have won. Hooorrrraaaaayyyyy!

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