Hey, here’s a fun (read: self-indulgent) thing we can do! So, the Videogum four year anniversary party was this week, as you probably know. It was very fun! I mean, I had a good time, Kelly hated it. She said that it was like If You Can Count On Me was a party instead of a movie. But, so, in the spirit of that magical night to remember, and as a celebration of the hard-earned, battle-weary years Videogum has cut through the Internet jungle, let’s all post our favorite Videogum posts from throughout the ages in the comments! See what I mean about self-indulgence fun?! So fun. The funnest. (You seriously do not have to do this, we are just curious what you guys like. It’s hard to know sometimes. You’ll go crazy about something that seems like nothing and then sleep on a real work of art. That’s why we all still get along so well even four years into this marriage: because we keep each other on our toes!) In any case, Happy Birthday one more time to Videogum. Congratulations, we earned it, etc etch.

After the jump, the five Highest Rated comments, as voted on by you, the Lowest Rated comment, the winner of the Texting Man Meets Bear Caption Contest, and the Editor’s and Associate Editor’s Choice.

This Week’s Highest Rated Comments

#4 Frank Lloyd Wrong | Apr 10th Score:72

This was a campaign for Nike, but based on their flight path, I think this might be a larger promotion for Draw Something


Posted in: Everything About This Nike Video Is A Terrible Fucking Lie
#3 stu | Apr 10th Score:72

Just a couple plane tickets to Indonesia and a two-second shot of him running through a shoe factory away from actually being subversive!

Posted in: Everything About This Nike Video Is A Terrible Fucking Lie
#2 ReturnOfTheRealMatt | Apr 10th Score:87

Do people not realize that Hunter S. Thompson killed himself and Marilyn Monroe died of a drug overdose? Why do people always quote them as authorities on life fulfillment?

Posted in: Everything About This Nike Video Is A Terrible Fucking Lie
#1 capsulekei | Apr 10th Score:100

I’m so sick of these dialogues aimed my generation (20-somethings) that say basically you’re never going to have a fulfilling life if you don’t just quit your job and go on some around the world trip. It seems like all conversations about how fantastic travel can be has been conflated with this idea as well. Like if you just take off the one week of vacation you get from work each year and go on a short trip, you’re not really “getting it.” Not everyone can freelance their DJ blog for a six month bender to sleep under the stars in Malaysia and those that can need to stop acting like it’s just “so easy if you really want it!”

I find these conversations especially confusing as our same generation is being told how hard we’re going to have to work at the job market to make up for the fact that we’re entering it during a huge recession. We need to take out bigger loans, get higher degrees, take more unpaid internships, to start out our careers with smaller salaries, yet we should also be sky-diving in New Zealand or else our life is a total waste. How is anyone supposed to reconcile those two ideas? Ug, Eat Pray Shut Up.

Posted in: Everything About This Nike Video Is A Terrible Fucking Lie

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Very happy to see that every one of the top rated comments is from the Nike video post. UGH THAT VIDEO! Speaking of the Videogum birthday party that I ENJOYED VERY MUCH, it was nice to have a million conversations with all of you about how frustrating the Nike video was. Pretty good timing on that one. Congratulations capsulekei on your #1 best comment of the week and of the Nike video. A+. You really did it. Let's all try to forget about the Nike video for the next two days and have a wonderful, lighthearted weekend! Yay!]

This Week’s Lowest Rated Comment

#1 vglog | Apr 10th Score:-19
I don’t even have to read what you write anymore. I just downvote it automatically.
Posted in: Your Tuesday Hunger Games Update: Katniss VS. PETA

[Ed. Note: Hahaha, that is CRAZY RUDE. Like, borderline impressive how rude that is. Not just that you do that, which is kind of rude but also who cares, but that you would announce it for no particular reason. Why would you even bother to do that? Who do you think this kind of behavior wins points with? Do you respond to your mom's blog with a comment like that?]

This Week’s Caption Contest Winner

[Ed. Note: Congratulations, Dusky Panther! You earned it.]

This Week’s Associate Editor’s Choice

[Assoc. Ed. Note: Posted in response to a request for everyone to post baby pictures of themselves, obviously. Very well done, facetaco. Very good picture.]

This Week’s Editor’s Choice

southernbitch | Apr 10th Score:34

and another thing. i feel so, so bad for helen keller, and her legacy. yes, she is an amazing inspiration and persevered against tremendous odds to learn how to communicate. and do you know what she wanted to communicate? a message of radical socialism. she was a fervent member of the IWW, and a huge anti capitalist. fuck these dudes for appropriating a quote of hers in order to justify a flagrant waste of money and resources and to be a corporate shill by proxy.

Posted in: Everything About This Nike Video Is A Terrible Fucking Lie

[Ed. Note: I know that comments on that stupid Nike viral video post (the video is stupid, the post is obviously very very good and so smart/interesting/funny/sad) already did a full SWEEP of the week's best comments, but I also wanted to highlight this one because it's just very interesting! I sure hope it's true, because it's a factoid I'm going to be repeating at cocktail parties and panel discussions without ever bothering to look it up for verification.]

Comments (58)
  1. you must be a god damn mutahfuckin fool to allow your 5 year old children to listen to rammstein.

  2. Congrats everyone! My favorite post is the first Videogum post I ever read. I referred to the Oscars as the Jude Lawsars for MONTHS.

    Also, lets dance!

    • I love that I automatically upvote you when I see your name. And someone who does the opposite of me is lowest rated. Hahahaha. High fives for cyberbullying the cyberbully.

      Also: cyberbullying is real. ***the more you gum***

  3. 530pm Pacific Standard Time
    Today: Jodie Sweetin Chat
    Let’s ask her what her favorite VG thread is. Mine is this, but you’ve probably read that before.

  4. This is a really old one, but man do I love it.

    The Double Dog SAW Marathon.

  5. Waaaa? I thought we were all in unanimous agreement that we all love LBT? Anyways.. Um I have nothing else to add.

  6. Let’s cut to the chase, brohams and brohettes:

    Top five blog posts of the week:

    5. Dan Murphy is cooler than you
    4. Sweet Brown is our generations Antoine Dodson
    3. Why dont you caption it contest Texting man meets the bear
    2. Matt Groening Reveals the real location of Springfield
    1. This is just a very baller photo of dustin diamond

    Worst blog post of the week
    all of those Hungry Game blog posts, I have had it with these blog posts

    editor choice
    Charlize Theron’s birthday message to Kristen Stuart is perfect
    [ed. note - so usually this blog is kind of mean to certain lady professionals in the hollywood community but this post gets to eat its cake and have it by way of soft mean, or subtle mean. kind of duplicitous but in a way that is not offensive. good work and I got to stare at a beautiful celebrity while enjoying, so that is an added bonus.]

    Memorable posts from the Ghosts of Videogum Past during the previous four years:
    One of my favorites is the one where there is a picture of some guy, I think he was the guy who would pull other writers books off of shelves and say “this is what I write” etc. Dont remember his name, but there’s a picture of him standing with his thumbs I think either in his pockets or in his belt loops. The videogum caption read “Mr. Cool Hands!” and drew attention to how he was standing. Its stuff like that I enjoy quite a bit. Its why I come back repeatedly. That and the Hunt for the worst movie series which I think is what drew a lot of people here. I appreciated those a lot. the walking dead recaps were pretty funny also. The end.

  7. The Super Nintendo Chalmers Open Thread brought me here and I’ve never looked back!

    Have a great weekend everyone!!

    • I joined the community after this post, so thank you so so so so much for posting the link.
      Ralph’s “I’ve got 2 kinds of wet in my pants” is a common saying in my house.

  8. “Gabe Goes to Summer Camp Comic Con” was one of the better episodes.

  9. The correct answer of course is all of them, but of course this:

    And this, on sheer force of writing quality alone:

  10. mine is the Nike commercial one. seriously.

    the fight back against all that inspirational-indie-movie-abandon-your-responsibilities-and-LIVE bullshit really helped me get through another week wondering why I’m sitting at a desk all day.

    living life involves having responsibilities and doing a lot of things you don’t want to do, but have to.

    I would like to personally thank Videogum and all you Monsters for helping me put off doing them.

  11. My favorite is all of the Gossip Girl recaps. Can we have those back? The show is crazy/crazy awesome right now. Like for example, this week the following things happened:

    1. Chuck wore a bright red footie pajama-esque onesie tracksuit
    2. Blair got a divorce from the Prince of Monaco
    3. Serena is now Gossip Girl and is using her power to to sabotage everybody because Dan and Blair’s relationship has apparently sent her into a full-blown nervous breakdown

  12. This is not only my favorite Videogum post, but also one of the greatest things ever written. Fact. The comments are fucking beautiful as well.

  13. My favourites are the You Can Make It Up stories. More more you can make it up!

    • My favorite YCMIU of all time – John Waters And Justin Bieber Play Air Hockey. Very good writing with a surprisingly touching mention of Edith Massey thrown in.

  14. I came here because of LOST; I stayed here because I made real friends… which is all a sentient phishing program can hope for in this workaday world.

    • I love the rants. I love the recaps. I love the silly things. I love the serious things. But, honestly, I love the people that hang out here on their workdays, making my weird little office of one awesome. You guys… What a delightful group! So smart and interesting and caring and consistently, truly funny on a minute-to-minute basis. I am unsure how long I have been lurking and then posting, but the whole time has made me very happy. And off-site antics are so wonderful too! My god, I don’t want to name names but yesterday’s Twitter chat about what ghosts would make the best/worst roommates and how/why was one of the most entertaining conversations I have had in real life in YEARS… let alone with my cyber friends as I uploaded and tweaked style sheets and content in my nightmare CMS. You all make working from home seem not lonely. That I found a delightfully self-selecting and social place to hang out while I work makes me so happy.

      And to Gabe and Kelly, Kelly and Gabe… you two are *so* great. I know how hard your job is (jobs are? I never bothered to read the dirty details of the descriptions because I got out for a reason) and that it can feel like you’re on a perpetual and proverbial hamster wheel, but BELIEVE ME you are both creating such quality content (even if it is commenting on pre-existing content… your blog sausage is so much better than the the rest)… I do hope you get raises because you both deserve them (and because I’ve been clicking on every annoying link ever to make sure the site is getting the proper hits and .008 cents per hit per click per me per day). Even if you get frustrated and disheartened (*ahem* GABE), please know that you both really, VERY SERIOUSLY, are doing an amazing job. Every day I am impressed, and I’m a horrible, judgmental asshole… especially about work I sort of or at some point actually have done. You bring so much joy into so many lives and holy shit, your work is *really* hard. To know how many blogs and RSS feeds you have to find, rehash and write … and what you do is so good, so very VERY GOOD? It’s incredible. And my god the recaps. They take FOREVER to do and every week they’re always very funny and always very smart… which is not even remotely easy, even with secret time and super talent.

      So, in conclusion, this is — without a doubt — my favorite site on the Internet. A+++++++++ all around.

      p.s. I’d like to see more Dr. Birdie and/or just Birdie.

      • Also, I love that I have a safe place to make jokes during awards shows with friends around the country because you all are so much funnier and faster than real comedians on the Twitter. Plus, even if I actually went out and did stuff with IRL people… most of my friends in my new town don’t have a TV or they don’t have cable (I stopped asking why someone would have one and not the other about my second week here). And even if we had an old timey 90s gather round the TV w/out a DVR Emmy/Oscar/PuppyBowl party… they’d only know like 3 shows and that gets annoying. I love where I live but goddammit, TV paid for my TV and I want to appreciate it with my peers.

  15. true fact!

    “The few own the many because they possess the means of livelihood of all … The country is governed for the richest, for the corporations, the bankers, the land speculators, and for the exploiters of labor. The majority of mankind are working people. So long as their fair demands – the ownership and control of their livelihoods – are set at naught, we can have neither men’s rights nor women’s rights. The majority of mankind is ground down by industrial oppression in order that the small remnant may live in ease.” — Helen Keller, 1911

    1911!! that’s before the great depression made practically everyone a socialist by default! and on that note, i will see my boring factoid loving self out by highlighting this post:

    mostly because of mans’ short story.

  16. I could pull most any WMOAT and it would be my favorite. I also like when Gabe gets political. Like that a lot. Umm, let’s see, oh yeah, the Joe Mande Brokencyde T14TT:


  17. Oh man, my first entry to the Ball and I got the #1 spot! Thanks, everymonster!! For my ego, I rather wish it had been for my dazzling wit rather than my ability to rant about entitlement, but no, just kidding, that’s awesome. I’m glad you guys were so receptive. I have loved this blog for ages now so I’m pumped about this!

    • I was trying to find all my favourite posts and it is way too hard to decide so here is a list;

      * Gabe on the Today show!

      * Lindsey on the NYC TV show tour.

      * Gabe at Comiccon, especially the photo of Gabe with the My Little Pony, just all on its own. That was my desktop background for a while because of how effortlessly it displayed resignation and hopelessness with a pink pony.

      * This LOST recap in particular;

      * This Gossip Girl recap in particular;
      “Nate is like “talk to me when you’ve had sex with a dragon in space.” Eyes wide shut!”

      * I can’t even pick an entry from The Hunt, since that is the feature that brought me to the site. I love reviews of bad movies so much that it is impossible to choose.

    • I have upvoted you TOO MANY TIMES for this to be your first time in the Ball but holy shit, that was an amazing AMAZING rant. If I was near the Bay, I would have hunted you down and bought you a really good drink so we could bitch about… well, let’s be honest… everyone else who was probably at that bar. (I only pick really annoying overpriced wine bars. It’s a flaw, I’m working on it.)

      But you are also always one of my favorite monsters and I was very ill on Tuesday and wanted to send you a fan message but didn’t get to read anything until late in the day because — TAKE NOTE LADY COMIC WRITERS ON LADY COMEDY SHOWS — I was totally incapacitated with cramps (what’s up fellas) and by then it was so late I figured no one would ever read it but I upvoted you with the passion of a thousand new IP addresses.

      Also that was literally the LOST recap that got me in for good.

      For real slow-motion high-five for feminism *and* a complimentary (actual) text from our girl Hillary because this *is* that week.

      • Multiple high-fives, badideajeans.
        You better come to the bay because I will go to all the overpriced wine bars and we will have a comedy montage where we shop for high heels, watch Mad Men and take no scrubs.

        P.S. Texts from Hillary is the best, I can’t even get over it!

        • I should be there at least twice this year. Once for work, once to see my parents and once to visit this magical place called “The Bottle Barn” in Sonoma County. (Technically that is three times but with enough wine it will only feel like two!)

          • Email me! I have a ridiculous email – padfootsharry at gmail (if only it was at AOL or Hotmail) – where I receive all my awesome emails.

  18. My favorite series was the pickup artist recaps. Gabe you fucking sublime genius.

    My favorite one video is pumpkin man because a NO DUH.

    My favorite post about a video, because it just sums up that feeling of failure TOO WELL:

  19. Good job everyone, good job. My favorite posts every week are usually the chats, which often cause me to have laughter holding desk convulsions. However the one which has changed my life is:

    BECAUSE JORTS. I don’t think the description of an individual’s outfit have ever made me laugh so hard. JORTS. Even the mention of Kevin Smith in day to day life makes me laugh and think of jorts, no matter the context. You could tell me that Kevin Smith got hold a nuke and was threatening to blow up my city unless we give him money to make a Mallrats sequel, I would not take it seriously because I’d be laughing at the word jorts. Well done.

  20. Nothing compares 2 u, Lindsay. (the Just Jack TV Bus Tour)

  21. “Um, WHO IS MR. BROOKS AND WHAT THIS HUNGER IN HIS BRAIN? I don’t know what you are talking about MOVIE THAT I JUST STARTED WATCHING, so don’t act like we’re friends.”

    I think the Mr. Brooks WMOAT is my favorite post just because of the “so don’t act like we’re friends.”

    What’s up everybody! Am I going to see you all at ROCK N BREWS tonight in El Segundo? Not really, is anyone downloading FEZ? FEZ is out everyone.

  22. It’s a catch-22 as far as comments are concerned, for me, because in general my favorite posts are the ones that require no comment and/or don’t invite a ton of back and forth. Also I don’t comment very often. But the stuff I read and love, in roughly descending order:

    - Heartfelt social commentary (Nike video, Ain’t No Such Thing as a Free Louis CK show, etc.)
    - Political commentary (Sarah Palin did not Cause the Arizona Shootings but is still an Asshole, etc.)
    - Duh Aficionado Magazine entries of all stripes (duh)
    - WMOAT
    - Recaps (True Blood and Top Chef were my favorites, though I hesitate to encourage you to watch more bad TV)

    I realize, reading this list, that everything here probably requires the most possible effort, but I love the writing on video gum, and that’s why I come back – not so much for the trampoline accidents (although everything has its place).

  23. I started coming here for WMOAT/Lost posts. All of those are very funny, especially the Lost posts, which were a breath of fresh air after reading other TV recaps, which are usually overly serious.

    The Brokencyde Take One for the Team, for sure.

    Also TOMATOBANK: (so ridiculous, also bred some great comments)

  24. I started coming here when I first heard that Jodie Sweetin was going to join us via tinychat, and ironically, it was also the day I decided to leave. Because of the Disappointment

  25. I love all of The Hunt entries, but if I have to pick two favorites off of the top of my head, they are “The Lake House” and “The Wicker Man”

    What’s Up With Topher Grace grew on me over time to the point that I loved it, and I am still sad it is gone.

    And this thread is bookmarked because this video makes me cry real tears of laughter every time I watch it. A’Capella scream band auditions plus the accompanying text just hits a funny-ness nerve.

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