Well, we’ve already talked about the Only Movie Trailer That Matters this week, the one for Battlefield America in which little children participate in dance battles and we don’t have any more movies to watch because what’s the point? But there were some other movie trailers this week, perhaps most notably the Looper trailer, not just because people are excited about it and it looks like a fun sci-fi time travel ROMP with Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis, but also because there were THREE TEASER TRAILERS this week TEASING THE TEASER TRAILER ITSELF. Woof. The world has changed, I can feel it in the too many teaser trailers. But, so, let’s go:

Looper

This looks very good! I liked Rian Johnson’s movie Brick, and I like time travel and adventure. Although I do think it’s funny that when time travel is finally invented in the future, the organized criminals dress like a political cartoon from 1920s Chicago. Kelly said that she can’t believe this is a movie because of Joseph Gordon Levitt’s Bruce Willis face, but the technology is there, Kelly. If we can have photorealistic dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, then we can make Joseph Gordon Levitt look a little bit like Bruce Willis. (Also I don’t actually find it that surprising or dramatic. He mostly just looks like Joseph Gordon Levitt to me? Ugh, Kelly, am I right?)

The Magic of Belle Isle

We don’t have to talk about this one, do we? OK great.

Lola Versus

Sure! Fun enough! Greta Gerwig, the guy from The Killing, the guy from that Miranda July movie, the anti-Sex in the City for people who do still secretly love Sex in the City from the studio that brought you (500) Days of Summer: it’s all coming together for you, Brooklyn!

I Know That Voice

Well, but, so, here’s the thing: what do we need the documentary for now? This trailer feels like just about as much as I need of this. Don’t get me wrong: I thought it was a very interesting and enjoyable four minutes! But an hour and a half of this? I’m so sorry! I am busy doing basically anything else!

Little Birds

This looks hilarious! Just kidding. But this looks nice. Two girls erotic journey of self-discovery across Europe or whatever. Great Seinfeld reference, Gabe. Thanks, Gabe!

Shuffle

Finally, OUR generation’s Memento or Pi or something. It’s kind of cheap and lazy to just knee-jerkingly compare every movie to some other movie, and it’s one of the reasons that Hollywood takes fewer and fewer risks, but also it is in black and white and it kind of is like Memento and Pi and also an episode of The Twilight Zone and maybe a Samuel Fuller movie, so whatever. Sue me.

A Fantastic Fear of Everything

Everybody loves Simon Pegg, or at least everybody on the Internet does, and this looks sort of interesting in a 1996-2003 kind of way. The End.

Comments (23)
  1. Kel did not age as well as Kenan!

  2. What is a “1996-2003 kind of way” supposed to mean? What defines that era and what attributes correlate to this Fantastic Feat of Everything movie? Explain yourself.

    • i take “1996-2003 kind of way” to mean shitty, straight-to-DVD Tarantino re-hashes….which doesn’t suit that trailer at all.

      or does “1996-2003 kind of way” refer to the good old days when movie trailers didn’t giveaway the whole fucking movie?

      • I’m guessing it also sorta calls back Eternal Sunshine maybe?

        I’m psyched to see Fantastic Fear though. Actually, I was more reminded of Bunny and The Bull by the Boosh dudes. Harold Boom is the main dude but all the gang have cameos. Quite good.

    • It was written and directed by the singer of Kula Shaker, so there.

    • It reminded me of Monkeybone (which I only saw the trailer for as well) but with a British guy instead of Chris Kattan, and that movie came out in 2001, so maybe Monkeybone is the defining artistic statement of that era.

  3. i’ve always wanted to see Kilgore Trout in Momento. thanks Shuffle!

  4. Why does Shuffle have a lot of the cast of Bones in it? Do they have like a package deal in their contracts?

  5. Real talk: Kevin Conroy is the greatest Batman, Y/Y?

  6. I knew it! I knew that the guy from the Killing was secretly hot! Thank you, “Lola Versus!”

  7. Why are you watching movie trailers when The Three Stooges is playing right now OMG go see it!

  8. I realized after I watched the Looper trailer frame-by-frame in quicktime what is really the most jarring aspect of JGL’s Bruce Willis makeup– the hazel/green contacts lenses. I’m not used to him having those crazy eyes.

    There is a shot in the trailer that was also in the first teaser (I’m hip to it, dudes!) of a close-up of JGL squeezing his eyes shut then opening them and a tear rolls down his cheek. In that shot as he opens his eyes, I cannot tell if his contacts have to roll back over his eyes to center back on the pupil (which sometimes happens with contacts) or if that is an intended effect. The first time I watched it I just thought his pupils were super-dilated then adjusted (a la the flashlight on the T-Rex’s eye in Jurassic Park), but when viewed slowly the green color clearly comes down over his coal-black eyes.

    I’m also curious why the basis for the Bruce Willis makeup appears to be old BWills’ aged, sagging face, and not from the young, Moonlighting/Die Hard era.

    And Paul Dano looks ridiculous, reprising his role from Little Miss Sunshine.

  9. Super excited for Looper, big fan of both Brick and Brothers Bloom. My summer excitement list is as follows:

    The Dark Knight Rises
    Prometheus
    Looper
    The Avengers

  10. My favorite part of “I Know That Voice” is the modesty of Andrea Romano.

    • THE Andrea Romano?! Wow!

      • I know, right?! A true legend in the realm of “Outstanding Special Class – Animated Program”. After all, it’s not like they just give out those Daytime Emmies to just anyone.

        • In all seriousness, I do think voice actors deserve way more props and recognition than they get. I always feel bad when career voice actors don’t get big animation gigs because regular, celebrity actors are cast (Angelina Jolie in King Fu Panda, Brad Pitt in Sinbad and Megamind, Matt Damon in Titan A.E., etc).

          But yeah, Andrea Romano’s how-about-we-shoot-in-front-of-my-Emmys interview deserves some justified teasing.

  11. I had no idea that Tom Kenny from Mr. Show did the voice of Spongebob Square Pants! MIND = BLOWN

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