Listen, I mean, I know that “children aren’t toys.” That seems obvious. They are humans and definitely seem like things that you need to be VERY careful around, even when you don’t own them yourself. Like if you decide to walk across the street when you don’t have a “walk” sign and there is a toddler next to you and the parent says “now, we don’t walk across the street until we have a walk sign, do we?” And you think to yourself, “now we don’t walk across the street until we have a walk sign, do we?” but with a mocking tone, because, seriously? They’re going to make you feel bad for being an adult in a city FOR adults? In any case, though, they are certainly not things to regard too lightly. Very delicate. Should not eat sugar or watch TV and should NEVER be around anything with a sharp corner. But, I guess what I’m just asking is: Are they toys, though?

Yes, right? They’re toys? Super fun toys you can toss around? Great, got it. (Via VVV.)

Comments (20)
  1. I don’t know if children are toys, but I certainly treat my toys better than that guy treats his children.

  2. What else are you supposed to do with him, I mean, he’s wearing a CAPE!

  3. is this what that movie “Ready to Launch” is about?

  4. I don’t know… I feel like they are toys. A newborn can become a sweet substitute for devil sticks. This kid is clearly an action figure. And just like toys, once you’re done playing with your kid you’re supposed to put it in your kid chest and turn out the lights.

    • Shoot. I was trying to keep it strictly in line with the treatment of toys, but that last sentence worked a lot better in my head than it did once I posted it.

      To be clear, when you’re done playing with toys, you put them away, and then you turn the lights out when you leave the room because energy costs money and your parents aren’t made out of it.

  5. Now go pick up that fucking melon.

  6. That was the favorite game of my children. When Dad came home from work, they begged him to throw them onto our bed. Hey, they lived!

    • Kid bones are most definitely made of rubber. It’s only as adults do our skeletons threaten to shatter every time we think there’s one more step or walk into a glass door because it’s so clear it looks like open air.

  7. This looks like a job of Robin, Joan & Cuba!

  8. He’ll grow up to be Buzz Lightyear. So, yes.

  9. What does it say about me that I remained completely stony-faced the first time the kid hit the pillow, and then exploded with laughter the second time? I mean, the second time was somehow much funnier, right? I don’t know!

  10. first they came to toss my neighbor’s children onto giant bean bag chairs, and i said nothing . . .

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