dustin_diamond

Last night, at the Videogum Anniversary Party, which, thank you to everyone who came, and where were you last night to everyone who didn’t make it, but all in all what a very nice time and a great way to celebrate what is literally an impossible thing (this site for four years? Get out of town) but so last night Scott from Stereogum and I were talking about bar mitzvahs, OBVIOUSLY, because OBVIOUSLY, and he asked if my bar mitzvah party had a theme. It did not. I mean, unless you consider Doing The Limbo in Patent Leather Shoes and Eating Cold Cuts and Getting a Disc Man From My Great Uncle (R.I.P.) That I Used to Listen to the CD of Prince’s Diamond and Pearls That I Received As a Gift From One of My Friends at the Lowest Possible Volume Even On Headphones Because Can You Imagine the Hot Water I’d Be in if Mom Found Out What It Actually Was a theme. Scott said that where he grew up, everyone’s party had a theme, and his party’s theme was “skiing.” Oh man. I laughed so hard when he told me that. I mean, it’s just perfect. A “skiing” themed party? For 13 year olds? GAHHHHH! It kills me. Everyone dancing the hora in parkas. Sno cones or something? Mulled cider. I’m making all of this up, Scott never said what a “skiing” themed party even meant. Just piles of cocaine on every table and souvenir bags full of engraved wrap-around Oakley’s. The best! Congratulations to Videogum on four years running. Congratulations to Scott on his skiing-themed bar mitzvah party. And congratulations to Dustin Diamond on this baller shit right here. (Image via InternetLurker. Click through to enlarge.)

Comments (48)
  1. Honestly this IS pretty baller and I’m jealous I don’t have a similar picture cuz I sure as hell had that Orko toy. Also T.Hanks you Gabe & Kelly for a lovely party!

    • Good tips. I am a 29 years old doctor, young and beautiful. Now I am see;king a gentle man who can give me the real love, so I joined B i l l i o n a i r e F r i e n d s . C O Mit’s the first and best cl;ub for billion;aires to interact with others and make friends. b’ecause I am at the begin;ning of my car;eer and I would like someone’s sup;port.

  2. And with that, Dustin Diamond brought the internet to a screeching halt.

  3. I couldn’t make it to the party because I have a life! (read: no life, I spent much of the evening in a library sitting near a particularly loud eater). I’m sure you guys had a great time and I’m very envious of everyone who was able to make it. Maybe next year!

    By the way, Dustin Diamond’s parents. You couldn’t spring a few extra bucks for the laser background?

  4. Mine had a theme….and it was sparkly pastel pony centerpieces complete with boxers with a sparkly pony pattern as the party favor. I was almost too cool at 12 years old.

  5. You could pretty much replace his image with mine since I had every single one of those toys, especially the t-shirt that I wore out. I eventually broke the spring-loaded feet in Ram Man too. (Very creative name guys.)

    We even had a He-Man themed fish tank (which could not have been good for the fish. At all.)

  6. Something about this photo makes me sad. Probably the whole, “look how cute he is and how much he genuinely enjoys his He-man stuff, and how cool that is, and I remember feeling that way about stuff back then, and how now he’s kind of a joke with a gross porn video” thing.

  7. When Mrs. Taco was pregnant, everybody asked what theme we were going to use to decorate the nursery, which is SO DUMB, because why does anybody think a nursery has to have a theme? Babies ain’t care if their room has a motif! I eventually just started saying the theme would be “Wall Street.” That shut people up.

  8. Prince Adam didn’t ride Stridor. Clearly, Dustin Diamond was earmarked for failure from the start.

  9. Everyone post a kid picture of yourselves!

  10. i dont live in NYC and am not jewish. i feel left out twice as much now. thanks gabe.

  11. no joke, guys, i was at a dairy farm in wisconsin yesterday. my job is weird*

    *i am not a farmer.

  12. Was He-Man’s horse a robot?

  13. The Original Ridiculously Photogenic Guy.

  14. Four More Years of unsubscribing from these cyber bullying comments and notes

  15. I wonder what Ruth Buzzi would think about this.

  16. SKUNKOR! What an action figure. HE SMELLS AWFUL! What a great hook for a children’s toy.

  17. So theme of party last night was Ram Man? Sounds like “fun”.

  18. Sorry I missed the party Gabe and Kelly but I was preparing for my vaginaplasty tomorrow.

  19. It was a B’Nai Mitzvah with my sister (she’s a year older), and skiing was the only hobby we could agree on. The centerpieces were skiers, and there were snowflakes on the table! I’ll try to find a photo.

    Swear to god, though, that year I did go to a Bar Mitzvah where the theme was Absolut Vodka. It was around the time those magazine ads were really popular.

  20. guess who showed up at 11:15, as predicted, and caught r2d2 and flw on their way out of an otherwise empty room?? your friendly union hall door girl, that’s who. we did NOT figure it out!

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