Did everyone have a wonderful Easter celebration yesterday, if you are a Christian or a non-religious person who just enjoys celebrations and it doesn’t really care if they’re based in religion? Because you only live once and you only get so many holidays and you might as well celebrate them when you can because it’s fun? Did you participate in the standard “buying a ham kind of late in the day and watching Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist on TV, first because it was kind of a silly thing to have on in the background while cooking, and then later because you found yourself on the couch watching it and not actually doing anything else”? I assume all of your answers are yes. Perfect! I’m glad you all had such a nice day — unlike the children in this clip, who got a terrifying Easter surprise from a local newscaster. Please make sure all children and young animals are out of the room before watching this clip, and please cover your own eyes, and please MIB neuralyzer yourself right after you see it.
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo! You’ve ruined the ability of those children to believe in the life behind the eyes of a dirty old single-expression bunny suit, YOU MONSTER! How dare you? Please sign my petition to have this man fired from his news station, just kidding, you can’t do that because you don’t know what I’m talking about because you’ve already MIB neuralyzied yourself. (Thanks for the tip, Gideon!)