Yes! This show! Such a good show! The scene in last night’s episode where Tyrion tells Mr. Clean not to threaten him and then Mr. Clean is like “two can play at the putting a pinky finger on the door in a very soft but somehow intensely unnerving way game” was a great scene. Also everything with that dude going back home to his father’s Mold Castle. What a creep. Oh, also the scene with Tyrion and that one knight and oh also Arianna Huffington was very good as Fire Rapist or whatever. But most importantly, for those of you who were worried that this season of Game of Thrones did not have enough scenes of women being taken from behind, STOP WORRYING! We are on track for this to be the BEST SEASON EVER! Game of Throooooooones!

Comments (59)
  1. Maybe it’s because I was raised with manners, but as a life rule, I try not to feel up the first woman I meet on the tiny island of my birth just on the off-chance that she’s my sister. It’s a pretty solid rule. Very simple. Has helped me avoid a number faux pas.

    • From what I understand, George RR Martin has a couple of sisters himself. Must be interesting dinner-table conversation around Thanksgiving or whatever.

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  2. (paraphrasing) “I am going to let a man turn you into a human centipede if you don’t stop crying.”

    -Peter Baelish, being not-terribly-concerned with obviously being a terrifying villain of this story

  3. Tyrion’s face as Cersei railed on him about their mother was SO sad. She cut him to the core. That shot was haunting.

    • Don’t mess with the ice queen if you can’t handle the ice burns, I guess. It is kind of crazy that the zinger about incest wasn’t even close to being the harshest line in any exchange.

      • It was a low blow. Cersei had that one chambered for a while, if it wasn’t something she’s thrown out before to shut Tyrion up. Tyrion definitely had the best zingers RELEVANT to the conversation they were having, and then Cersei, backed into a corner, pulled the, “Well at least I didn’t KILL MOM with my dwarf body!” card.

        That’s why I was so moved by Tyrion’s face in those shots. He was seriously like, “You know that’s the one thing I am truly sad about, insecure about, and it’s the one thing in my life I couldn’t help. I was being born! She was my mom too and I love my family! Even you, you bitch!”

        • One thing I really appreciate about the TV show is that it at least attempts to humanize Cersei a little bit while in the books she is just relentlessly the worst all the time with no redeeming qualities.

        • After re-watching Episode 1 after last night’s episode, I noticed Tyrion had it coming.

          Remember when he first reveals that he is basically the new Hand? And then he hounds on Cersei for going from 3 Starks to just 1. Then he drops the, “How does it feel to be the disappointing child?” Cersei just stares at him with hatred.

          I think from that point on, after she walked away, she had a moment of, “Oh I’m the disappointing one! You killed my mother!” And then bottled that up until their next encounter in last night’s episode.

          Am I watching Thrones properly?

    • Cersei was all, “You’re always so funny…for me to poop on!”

  4. “I did not sign up for this!” – Baelish’s handkerchief, after wiping the dribble from that chick’s face.

  5. Is it okay that I’ve purchased most of my clothes with plastic and paper rather than iron? Please advise.

  6. The theme of this episode was definitely vaginas. How to hide one. How to get near one. How to get in them. Their religious connotations. How to put babies in their. How babies can kill them. How peopel can kill the babies if the wrong person put one in one. How you need to know whether or not one is a relative of yours before you touch it. Or not, in the case of that one dude with all the people with vaginas around him that he continually gets in. The more you know.

  7. Oh man, such a great episode. My favorite part was Sam saying, “It seems a bit greedy to have so many wives. Wouldn’t 2 or 3 be enough?” And also the look on Bronn’s face when Janos is like, “These men are under my control, seize him!” Hahaha!

  8. You guys, I think we should have a little talk with George RR Martin. He can’t go five pages without putting some incest or near-incest or implied incest into his stories. Also, he describes an awful lot of things in the books as smelling like semen. Really, just the marketplace and Khal Drogo’s hair, but I feel like that is an awful lot of things to smell noticeably like semen.

  9. Tyrion + Bronn 4ever you guys.

    • Tyrion didn’t seem too happy about Bronn’s answer to the baby murdering though, trouble in paradise

      • I thought that too. He was expecting Bronn to be as disgusted by baby killing as he is. Peter Dinklage conveyed it nicely with just a look. He’s so great.

        • The look also says that Bronn has pretty much summed up his entire character in that one line. While he just got rid of someone that was bought and paid for, he just replaced him with a guy who is arguably worse. Janos was loyal for what he was already given, while Bronn expects to keep getting paid.

      • True. That was a great scene, which is kind of my point. Every scene they have together inevitably ends up being one of the best scenes of the episode.

    • Bronn is quickly becoming one of my favorite characters.

      I didn’t get too attached to him in book 1 because I was for sure he wasn’t going to last long.

  10. “Hey fantasy world Bryan Cranston, do you know where we can get some GUNS?” -Daenerys

  11. Is anyone else concerned about the number of different characters/kingdoms/threats that is being introduced each episode? I trust HBO to make it work and each new wrinkle (e.g. that crazy ginger queen, the Iron Islands folks) are consistently fascinating and intriguing but I’m worried about how it’s all going to come together! Guys…?

    Also, with all the people getting it in this episode, maybe we should change the name of the show to “Game of Bones”, amirite?

    • There’s definitely a buttload of characters to keep up with. But I noticed something awesome in the title sequence of that episode. I usually go pee or get some tea or something during that but we should all pay close attention to it. They go around the map and point out where all of the action of the episode will take place and how they relate geographically. They started out in King’s Landing of course then went out to Dragonstone where Stannis and his [best right hand (minus 3 fingers) man in all worlds] then over to Pyke where Theon ArseFace would try it on with his sister then down to Winterfell showing how Pyke is part of that realm, sort of. Then they go up to the Wall and all that then take off way way way way way far away. So far that the globe turns sideways to show how far Daenarys and the Dothrakis are from the action.

      It’s subtle for sure but I will be keeping a close eye on it from now on.

      • Not to harp on how you’ve been missing the purpose of the opening credits, but they did that during the first season as well. Namely, with the Eyrie where Tyrion was being held captive and Vaes Dothrak, the city with the horse statues when Daenerys & co. pilgrimaged.

        The globe doesn’t turn sideways either. The camera turns east then heads overseas, then they cut to a behind shot to show where the cities are in relation to King’s Landing far off in the distance. That’s my favorite shot btw, because the cloth that is the sea can be seen billowing out of focus in the background.

        • Nor is the globe a globe, or rather, the camera is INSIDE a sphere, with the gyroscope thingy acting as the sun/nucleus. I REALLY love the title sequence.

          There’s a website called that does interviews with people who make opening credit sequences, and the interview with the GoT guys is definitely worth checking out.

          • zomg
            I just watched the opening credits at that link I just provided without sound (I’m at work), and, having bought the title song track and listened to it a bazillion times between seasons, I was absentmindedly humming along to myself and STRAIGHT UP nailed the timing with the sequence, getting right to the quiet part at the end exactly when the screen goes black.

          • On the DVD commentary the actors playing the younger Stark kids (Sansa, Arya and Bran) follow along with the opening theme, making sounds to mach the different parts of the music, until the beat changes and they just start laughing.

          • OK Professor Geometrygum, your point is well taken.

            I usually check out during the titles because generally titles are like, duh, the same thing over and over again. I love that you are into it that much. The point that I got out of it wasn’t that this world is INSIDE a sphere and doesn’t turn, just your perspective of it. What I got out of it was the sense of the geography and how it affects the interactions of the houses. That change of perspective going across the Dothraki Sea shows the foreign-ness of their way of life outside the 7 Kingdoms. I bow to your superior percptiveness. That shit is so effin cool innit?!

            The actual way they crafted that work of art together for serious is really cool and you’re right to point that out. I was just more into what it tells you about the story. Best of both worlds really. It is beautiful in and of itself but also serves the story in really cool way.

            I went back through each episode and scrolled through each title sequence. I so love that it helps to make sense of things. Like just how far the Wall is from King’s Landing explains so much of how Cersei and the gang are so dismissive of Tyrion’s warnings and how the King’s Road goes way up to Winterfell and they show how Pyke would be under its jurisdiction or where The Twins are in relation to King’s Landing and the Eyrie and all that. Love it.

            Also -Sidebar- I love that northerners have Northern accents generally and southerners have those, etc. Small thing but a great touch.

          • I was just more into what it tells you about the story. Best of both worlds really. It is beautiful in and of itself but also serves the story in really cool way.

            That was exactly my point. The intro serves its purpose splendidly. The intro shows the geographic locales in the specific episode. All the models on the map have the insignias of their houses (wolf, stag, lion and dragon), and the insignias also appear next to the actors’ names in the credits, depending on what House they represent/reside in.

            And, on the bands of the gyroscope-looking ‘Astrolabe,’ a neat little history lesson is on display through the relief sculpture hieroglyphs, telling the story of Dragon burninating the land, then Wolf, Lion, & Stag cooperating to defeat Dragon, then all the animals bowingbefore Stag.

            All of this is talked about in that article I linked to. Really good opening.

      • Agreed that the title sequence is helpful for orientation. Really it’s remarkable (and a testament to the strong writing of the show) that I’m not totally lost each episode.

        Also, if you look closely during the title sequence, beside each actor’s name is the sigil of the character they portray. I’m sure this has already been noticed many times by many people, but it is still pretty rad!

    • It will be interesting to see what happens in later seasons. The way the book dealt with having so many people is to eventually split up the characters so that two books happen simultaneously (for the most part). The books also get bigger up until that point, so it’s possible that stuff may end up being cut over time.

      I think I may have noticed the first ‘omition’, as there was no mention of Stannis’ daughter (and seemed to imply there was none). Admitedly, I don’t think it would be much of a loss if she’s cut, but it does seem they are making some trims to keep things from getting too bloated.

      Also, compared to the books, I think the fact that the actors, and locations, are so solid, it’s easier to jump into these new places and get an instant feel. In the books, it often takes a few chapters to get a good feel for the new character and/or locale, but with a visual medium, you can cut to the chase (not to mention a ton of detail that would normally be written in flowery prose can be shown in a single panning shot).

      • Good catch Ryan. I sorta noticed it too. I kept thinking, “Shouldn’t we have met Stannis’s pain in the arse wife already? Isn’t she responsible for bringing in Red Arianna Huffington in the first place? Wasn’t it because of the daughter’s stone face thing? Or am I mixing that up with someone else. Been a while since I read that part.

  12. I demand a Arya-Gendry-Hot Pie spin-off. The three would go on adventures and hilarity would ensue, naturally.

    • Seriously! They should cut out some of those gratuitous sex scenes and spend more time on Arya and Gendry being adorable and killing people. After you’ve seen one sexing-from-behind scene you’ve pretty much seen them all.

  13. Despite all the things that happened in this awesome episode I still feel that it ended too soon; I feel that way about all the episodes, mostly cause I can’t get enough of this show, but this time I was just hoping to see Brienne next after each scene ended.

  14. Gendry, what a little dollface.

  15. The funny moment with the dragon last episode has made me super conscious of budgetary stuff in the show. Like when Mormont almost pulled the head out of the bag, and then went, “Well, or, I could leave the head in the bag,” my immediate thought was, “Yeah, that’s cheaper, probably.” Same with the dire wolves. “Get out of here, wolf. No, go. Go. You’re awesome, but you already cost us more than I’m getting for the whole season.”

    Also, I haven’t read this book, so I’m probably not On The Level, but the way the show is treating the Frost Incestlord’s prolicide seems unnecessarily dramatic. 1) You guys live in a nightmare fantasy universe, how are you still shocked by this stuff, and 2) there aren’t any men. What did you think was happening? What were the alternatives to killing the sons off, anyway?

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