Guys, the Jewish holiday of Pesach, or “Passover,” begins tonight. This is a celebration of the Jews escaping slavery in Egypt. And what better way to celebrate this monumental event than with some BRAND. NEW. MOVIE. TRAILERSSSSS!
To Rome With Love
I feel like at this point new Woody Allen movies are just a public record of him verifying that the actors we like are good. “Yup! Love these guys, too, guys!” That’s Woody Allen. “Love these guys, fuck my daughter, want to fuck Scarlett Johansson.” That’s him exactly. But, so this looks pretty good if you like this kind of thing, which I do!
What on Earth? Oliver Stone + Taylor Kitsch + Blake Lively = IDK. Show your work! This is like a Natural Born Killers sequel meets some movie Quentin Tarantino wrote in the ’90s and sold on spec but didn’t direct himself? Something tells me the Savages soundtrack has an unfortunately high number of My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult songs on it.
I bet he’s a jerk in real life, that’s just my best guess bet, but I like watching Mark Wahlberg in movies so much. And so, yeah, this kind of just looks like a lowbrow-er version of The Beaver or something, and I’m not a big (haha) Seth MacFarlane fan, but fuck it! Wahlberg using his best “Welcome to Wahlburgers, may I take yer wicked ohdah” accent and I’m pretty much in.
Rock of Ages
Don’t care. Not even watching this one. How was it? Something something Glee? No idea.
Sure! In your face, Rock of Ages. Admittedly, it looks like a low budget Dreamgirls minus the Bey, and I didn’t even like Dreamgirls, but at least it seems like the music might actually be contained within the exegesis of the film, rather than people just bursting out into song to explain why they’re out of milk, or whatever. (P.S. I don’t like musicals!)