Whuuuuuuuuuuut?! WHY DIDN’T THE PRECOGS TELL US ABOUT THESE?! Maybe it’s time to put the Precogs THEMSELVES in Time Jail! Have you guys seen what these “glasses” actually look like? Even Will.i.Am would be like, nah, I’m good. Thanks for thinking of me, dudes, but I’m all full up on Clown Face. Also, these are obviously kind of neat, but they are also obviously HOW YOU GET HIT BY A CAR AFTER YOU CLIMB OUT OF THE MANHOLE YOU JUST FELL THROUGH. It’s already hard enough to Tweet the URL to your latest Instragram without BEING SPLIT IN HALF BY A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT but now you’re supposed to do all that, Wiki who invented coffee, and track wherever the fuck Paul is at any given moment? He said he was going to meet us at the Strand. The fuck, Paul? Oh well, I guess you can apologize in your eulogy at my funeral. “Glasses, deFriendster Paul. And remind me NOT to buy tickets to Globlob Francoise. Now, how do I get to heaven?”

Comments (50)
  1. Running the risk of experencing Blue Screen Of Death while driving is a small price to pay for being able to pretend you’re a Terminator. I’ll buy a pair.

  2. Cyborg transformation almost compete.

  3. Will it be Videogum compatible?

  4. I hope Ryan Gosling lets this asshole get hit by a taxi. You can’t save them all, Ryan.

  5. Did he seriously just meet up with a guy just to buy coffee together?

  6. Google glasses should have identified that breakfast as inedible. Did he get that bagel sandwich from Dunkin Donuts?

  7. I am for reals so excited about these things. I don’t know what I’m going to have to give up to own a pair, but I will make it happen. I might even have to sell the good kidney, but it’s totally gonna be worth it.

  8. So Google Glasses will be restricted to twee white Brooklynites? How unfortunate.

  9. Dangit! Now my Google Monocle is gonna look so dumb.

  10. Why was he gonna take the subway for like two blocks?

  11. This is going to be so helpful for my People Staring at Me Like I’m a Dick photo-blog.

  12. So they’re, like, Go(o)ggles?

  13. I’m just throwing this out there to all the hipsters on behalf of the rest of humanity, please take your Google Glasses off before you start masturbating. Thanks.

  14. “Where’s the music section?”
    “Oh, it’s right ove-”
    “Quiet! I was talking to my glasses!”

    And another small piece of our humanity dies. (I’m just kidding, this looks pretty cool.)

  15. There are going to be so many face plants, unless the Googles have a heads up about walking into shit.

  16. Too bad they didn’t get to showcase the brain cancer status bar.


  18. All I can keep thinking of is God Damn It Paul by 5/8. . .

    for all those early 90′s Athens, GA Emo enthusiasts out there.


  19. Geordi approves.

  20. Also, I hate that fucking guy! No wonder Paul tried to ditch him.

  21. crap like this will make it even more difficult to go “off grid” and get away from it all in the facebook iphone era. I say we go back to simpler times.

  22. Really thought he was gonna jump…


  24. video calling is awful. you can’t hide just how much you eye roll during the call or how much you just aren’t paying attention.
    and he can see jessica but what is she looking at? a close up of his eye or his view of the floor?

  25. Does Google really know how it sounds when people think? Huh.

  26. I noticed that the guy was looking up to the sky a lot when he was checking some of his apps. Is this Google’s way of being its own by making its users not look down at their phone?

    I guess this means we’ll all go blind very soon.

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