Oh, Kirk Cameron. You are OUR generation’s Victoria Jackson! At first, when Kirk Cameron says something, my immediate reaction is that it must just be embarrassing for political conservatives. Why can’t he be on the other guys’ team?! That’s what I imagine the reaction is. Do we have to keep this one or can we throw him back in Whoops Ocean? But actually I think it’s a little more complicated than that. Or at the very least, I’m sure the degree of embarrassment that people might feel over being identified with Kirk Cameron is at least commensurate with how they imagine a politically liberal person must or at least should feel when Sean Penn saves Haiti, or when some unwashed co-ed occupies the quad and demands free shampoo for all Americans. What I mean is that both huge, complicated, co-mingling sides has their fair share of Court Jesters. Ridiculousness is in the eye of the beholder, etc, etc. But all of that being said, even Dennis Miller has to admit that this clip of Kirk Cameron on a Trinity Broadcasting Network talk show (a Trinity Whatsit Now?) talking about how dangerously close America is to becoming Nazi Germany in almost impossibly facile terms is uh pretty embarrassing. That’s your boyfriend’s political articulation and all that.

Oh good grief. KIRK! MY MAN, KIRK! Setting aside all of the ways in which America is in absolutely no danger of becoming Nazi Germany especially while there is a black president in office because eracism and what in the hell are you even talking about Kirk Cameron, it is incredible to imagine how vociferously and vehemently the right would be outraged if someone on the left made a similar claim. For example, imagine that Rachel Maddow didn’t even bother to go so far as to claim that America was on the decline or that we were in danger of falling under the spell of a genocidal maniac, but simply took the American flag lapel pin off of her blazer. GASP! I’m all for healthy debate and clear-eyed honesty about our actual situation, but if the right has determined that no one is ever allowed to say anything even remotely critical of this country, then they’re not allowed to just break that rule whenever they want. I mean, they do, and they will, and please know that I am aware that the left has its own set of established rules that it constantly breaks, but wahhh wahhh wahhh it’s not fair! Seriously, though, which is it? Are we the greatest country in the world, or are we NAZI GERMANY?!

Not that this is particularly new for Cameron. This is basically what the #1 movie in America, Monuments, is all about. Although, I’m confused, is America on its way to being Nazi Germany or on its way to being the Roman Empire, because YOOPS those are two REALLY DIFFERENT things! Oh well. Maybe we will all find out when Kirk Cameron visits that one statue and asks some dude at an Irish pub how to “fix it.” He’s the father of six kids, you know. So, he cares about stuff.

Kirk Cameron everybody! The one man with his head on straight, if you ask him. (Thanks for the tip, Beariffiying Fartstein. Also: good name, Beariffiying Fartstein!)

Comments (45)
  1. Sounds like Kirk Cameron has become aware of how he’s being mocked on the internet, and has taken the next logical step in an internet argument: the Hitler comparison. Well played, sir.

  2. Let’s invent a time machine so we can go back and kill Kirk Cameron, you guys.

    • Why? Did he used to be Jewish?

    • I am sort of with you on this. He was a teen idol to me and I still think he’s hot (sorry, but who’s objectively with me on this…anyone?). I wish we could just make him sane somehow.

      • I actually scrolled back up and for the first time realized he is still pretty cute. But he’s totally cute in the “I bet i can fix him and then we’ll be in love FOR-EVER.” or the kind of guy you’d date to get back at your ultra-liberal, ultra-tolerant, Unitarian Universalist parents.

    • “I think if he was raped by me, he never would have done all that shit he did”–Louis CK

  3. If you can’t mention the Weinmar Republic by name when you mention hyper-inflation in Germany during the 20s then you should STFU.

    • Some people might say the same thing about spelling “Weimar”. ;)

      • Damn my horrible spelling! Damn R2 for your smarts!

      • Ha, yes, AND, at the risk of sounding like history class, it is COMPLETELY moronic to compare our inflation to Weimar inflation. Call me when our dollar is worth a fifth of cent and you need a wheelbarrow full of money to buy one potato like you did when Hitler was making those speeches — unless you really believe (apparently Kirk’s position) that $4 gas is enough to turn Americans into Nazis.

  4. YES KIRK CAMERON CLEARLY THE US AS IT CURRENTLY STANDS AND GERMANY POST WWI ARE EXACTLY THE SAME IN EVERY RESPECT, NO NEED TO THINK CRITICALLY ABOUT ANYTHING OR LOOK AT MORE IN-DEPTH ISSUES. NOPE THAT IS FOR LOSERS AND YES ALL CAPS ARE NECESSARY RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I AM ACTUALLY SCREAMING THIS AS I TYPE. I AM VERY GLAD I DO NOT WORK IN A LIBRARY AT THE MOMENT.

  5. Well, in his defense, he’s often walking on very slippery slopes, what with all the discarded banana peels.

  6. Is there any way we could deport him? He’s really harshing my patriotic buzz.

  7. “This thing is similar to this other thing in the most surface of ways. Let me argue this as fact now.” — Kirk Cameron or College Thesis Paper

  8. Does this mean that Subways are now gonna carry bratwurst?

  9. Goddamnit. Why does Mike Seaver get to live when Boner’s life was cut tragically short?

    (For real, though. RIP Andrew Koenig, by all accounts you were a pretty cool dude).

  10. What clearly-not-gay-loves-Jesus-but-not-in-a-gay-way designer chose the sofas for that set?

  11. Sooooo…..did Kirk Cameron basically just tell us to be afraid of religious conservatives in America? Because they are the ones saying “take back America” and “restore America’s dignity” and “turn back to our original greatness” and all that?

    • Either that, or he told us any candidate who talks about hope and change is a Nazi.

      But let’s stop talking about this. We need to be careful what we say. Not because it’s submoronic, ya know — because the SS is listening.

  12. My first tip! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
    Also hahahaha I was going to change that name a long time ago but forgot. Oh well!

  13. I think the Whoops Ocean is a joke that only comes up once every couple months, but it is my favorite joke and I smile whenever it makes an appearance. Carry on!

  14. Uhh… you sure about that, Bing?

  15. WOAH very amazing comparison made here, my eyes have been opened! Who knew that only two politicians in the history of ever have ever campaigned on a platform of “hope” and “change” and helping a crumbling economy? Spoooooooky!

    Also, the names Lincoln and Kennedy each have seven letters wooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

  16. I’m not politically conservative or anything, but I do believe in God and Jesus and all that so I suppose the average person would think that me and Kirk Cameron are batting for the same team, although I think we have about as much in common as USA 2012 and Pre-WWII Nazi Germany.

    And I can tell you that my emotions about Kirk Cameron are not complicated. To the Whoops Ocean with him. To the Whoops Ocean with him forever.

  17. vociferous and vehement

  18. If it makes you feel any better, this is not something that’s limited to America or even the West. For example, when I was in Taiwan, the KMT (right-wing, pro-rapproachment with mainland China party, which was in opposition at the time) ran an election ad comparing the at-the-time current president with Hitler and Saddam Hussein. Even after the German and Israeli consulates complained, the KMT doubled down, saying something about how Chen Shui-bian (the president) wanted to stir up ethnic tension between Taiwanese speakers and Mandarin-speaker Taiwanese. The KMT lost that election, although it was a close one.

    Coolest of all the stories, bro. Coolest of all the stories.

  19. So wait, anyone who tells you life can get better is a possible next Hitler? Thank god, my parents aren’t Nazis.

  20. So if you “translate” what Hitler was saying, he wasn’t just screaming in gibberish guttural nonsense to roaring psychotic applause?

    Balderdash. There is only one language on this planet and it is American English.

    I don’t know who this “expert” is, but if he was so smart at stuff he’d know that Hitler was obviously speaking in some possessed devil tongue.

  21. As an orthodox jew and a vehement holocaust denier, I can’t believe I wasn’t here sooner to make the following comment:

    FOR SHAME, Kirk Cameron. Comparing modern United States to a country led by a fabricated individual who never tried to eradicate my people?! How dare you. It never could happen, but if it did, it would be offensive, and the thought of it happening in real life and not in a large percentage of the world’s population’s imagination is frightening indeed.

  22. Yosemite?

  23. UGH but what does Candace Cameron think!?!?

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