Have you heard THE NEWS? The only news that everyone is talking about? Have you been to the water cooler yet today, is basically what I’m asking? Been on gchat? If no, first of all get a life, and second of all drop everything you’re doing, sit down, and prepare to be INCENSED. From Variety:

The King of Twitter is now the King of Apple, as “Two and a Half Men” star Ashton Kutcher is attached to play Steve Jobs in the indie pic “Jobs,” which Joshua Michael Stern (“Swing Vote”) will direct from a script by Matt Whiteley.

The film will chronicle Steve Jobs from wayward hippie to co-founder of Apple, where he became one of the most revered creative entrepreneurs of our time.

Hahahaha. Sure. The announcement came yesterday, April Fools’ Day, and some people thought it was an April Fools’ prank, which is very funny. It certainly would have been a very funny April Fools joke from Hollywood (the kind of Hollywood that is made up of people who you don’t really know making biopics that are going to be competing with large biopics from people who you do know based on well-known biographies that you or at least your dad probably have read), but NOPE! And, obviously, people are upset, because HOW DARE THEY? How dare they hire an actor to play Steve Jobs in a biopic that we weren’t going to see anyway, because it’s not the Steve Jobs biopic that Aaron Sorkin might write, and how many Steve Jobs biopics does a person really need? The only other question is: HOW MAD ARE YOU ABOUT IT?

How Mad Are You About Ashton Kutcher Playing Steve Jobs?

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Thank you for taking part in our poll. At the end of the day we will mail the results to Joshua Michael Stern and Matt Whiteley and see if they will reconsider their choice of hiring the most relevant actor they could get for their independent biopic, probably, no offense to them.

Comments (15)
  1. iDontcare

  2. I’m disappointed “Two and a Half Mad” wasn’t an option.

  3. i wonder if they’ll have a contingency plan for when he dies in space, like those guys making the Deepthroat movie did when they tried to hire Lindsay Lohan.

  4. Only one biopic coming out this year that I really care about.

    (And I’m not talking about Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which I’m sure will be fun. I’m talking about the one directed by Spielberg and starring Daniel Day-Lewis!)

  5. The question isn’t, “How mad am I?” The question is, “How mad is Justin Long and how willing is he to murder Ashton Kutcher?”

  6. Can they get Topher Grace to play Bill Gates? Throw on some hipster glasses and voila.

  7. How is it an “indie pic”? An indie pic is the first Evil Dead: A bunch of dedicated people working on a shoestring. This is a movie staring a millionaire portraying a billionaire.

  8. What’s with the Fortune/CNN article? It seems to go to great lengths to tear apart the people involved in this for no reason other than it not being the iOfficial apple movie “Money, of course, is no guarantee of quality” but we’re going to pick apart the lack of credits this team of nobodies has anyway?!? Stressing imdb ratings? Really?

  9. I’M SICK OF BIOPICS. Just make a goddamn documentary and help popularize them.

    “Honey, there’s a Steves Jobs documentary on!”
    “Who gives a shit?”
    “Honey, they’re making a Steves Jobs movie with Ashton Kutcher as Jobs!”
    “Hello? Fandango? Yes, hi. It’s me. I need all of your Steves Job bio-pic tickets STAT. Yes, I’m a doctor. I get to say that.”

  10. when i heard THE NEWS yesterday my first thought was “i can’t wait to read what the videogum reaction will be!”

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