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I continue to not understand why the organizers of the Academy Awards think that they’re going to lure in viewers with promises of surprises. First there was the announcement that the presenters would remain unknown until the event. OOOOOOOOH. Because we are all going to be on the edge of our seat wondering whether Denzel Washington will open the envelope, or if it will be Adrian Brody instead. The suspense is literally killing me. I am dead.
Now, there is another mysterious announcement from the Academy. From the AP:
BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. – Fans of this month’s Academy Awards — and nominees themselves — are in for something new at Hollywood’s biggest party, the show’s overseers said Monday.
Sid Ganis, president of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, told the 112 contenders gathered at the annual nominees luncheon to expect a lot of new things at the Feb. 22 ceremony.
“Your categories are being presented in a completely different way. Heads up,” Ganis told actors. “Cinematographers, editors, composers. All of you guys. You’re in for a big surprise.”
Obviously, there is potential here. “Heads up, you’re in for a big surprise” is impressively vague. For example, if the theme of this year’s Academy Awards was Wanted, and the winner’s name was etched into a magic bullet and someone from The Fraternity curved the bullet so that it traveled the length of the Kodak Theater and lodged itself in the face of the winner, now that would be a show. But, somehow, I feel like this is going to be much closer to those Presidential YouTube Debates, with animated snowmen opening CGI envelopes, or some garbage, than any kind of widespread celebrity assassination massacre. Snooze!
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This is actually good news. Hugh Jackman will pee his pants in surprise every time there is a surprise. We will know a surprise is coming by the new pants he is wearing, before they get filled with his pee.
I believe you mean, “curved the bull (or maybe it’s just one L) ”
Just sayin’
Also, how are they going to know who to shoo.. I mean, who won the Oscar?
What with their Loom of Fate having been all blown up and stuff by swatch-rat-bombs?
They Can’t.
There are Rules to the Fraternity Gabe. RULES!
What in the fuck are you talking about?
That one movie, with the fraternity of Assassins, of course
It actually makes total sense if you’ve seen Wanted. That is how ridiculous Wanted is.
All the presenters are Ryan Seacrest via CNN hologram.
It’s definitely just 3D, like the Super Bowl commercials and shit were. Was I asleep when every TV-owning American was provided with a pair of 3D glasses?
Sure, make fun. But when they give out the award for best cinematography BEFORE the award for best animated short, it’s going to blow your fucking minds.
That be-visored lady sure is GOOD with a blowdryer. That shit is in PLACE.
she’s living the hollywood dream, man.