I honestly cannot think of anything to say about this video of Alicia Silverstone feeding her child mama bird style. That’s why I made it your job. You say something about it. Caption contessssssssst!

Winner will receive special placement in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. NOM NOM NOM, right? NOM NOM NOM LOLOLOL! (Thanks for the tip, almost everyone in the world practically!)

Comments (64)
  1. Chewless.

  2. Her husband walks in
    says I left my Cranberries cd in the quad
    And she never sees him again

  3. That’s so Crazy, I’m almost Cryin’.

  4. Alicia Silverstone proves that she still knows how to Cher.

  5. Not my particular brand of fetish porn, but to each his own.

  6. She learned how to chew things and spit them out after watching Hollywood do the same to her career.

  7. Alicia Silverstone that explains her son is named Bear, which is why she feeds him like a bird

  8. Spit happens, I guess.

  9. This is one of the few times when Gary Busey’s presence would make things less surreal.

  10. So is this that birdemic movie everyone’s talking about?

  11. Way harshly indigestible, Thai food.

  12. I feel sorry for their BABYSITTER.

  13. “it says ‘I chew chew choose you.’ And there’s a picture of Alicia Silverstone feeding her baby!”

  14. “Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good.” -Cher

  15. All that practice to play Robin and she didn’t even get the part.

  16. “I feel like such a heifer. I fed my baby had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.”

    • “I feel like such a heifer. I fed my baby two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice.”

      *fixed

  17. that kid’s going to grow up with a lot of Excess Baggage

    • GAH! I word-for-word just thought of the same thing! I refreshed and there it was in print!

      • (Not to diminish or take away from your caption, explainer guy. It’s just that I was thinking about Excess Baggage and how Benicio Del Toro’s role in it was so outside the ballpark of his usual types of roles. He was the romantic foil to Alicia, and he looked really suave, clean-shaven and put together and youthful. He was really gussied up in Excess Baggage, and it’s so outside the norm of his usual, rugged, scruffy, squinty, disheveled series of looks he goes for. I think right after EB was when he gained all that weight for Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and he’s been in more haggard roles ever since)

        • This thoughtful reply reminds me of the last few panels of The Walking Dead comic book where something happens with Carl.

  18. Alicia Silverstone? What a Blast from the Past!

  19. “C’mon Alycia. Put on the costume. Please.” – that kid’s dad.

  20. He may have been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but he is literally fed by a Silverstone.

  21. I had hoped I would only be seeing my breakfast again sporadically, but here it all is after watching that video.

  22. Dad: You want to practice chewing?
    Baby: What’s the point? Everywhere I go has mommy.

  23. If there’s a rule that joking about food will automatically garner you enough upvotes to get into Monsters’ Ball, how are we going to cope when every single comment on this post ties for Caption Contest winner this week?

  24. is this the trailer for Human Centipede 3?

  25. Damn Alicia Silverstone for pulling this stunt and not having a large enough filmography or level of infamy to properly make a satisfactory amount of joke references!

  26. I was my generation’s Kelly Bundy! You’ll eat this food any goddamned way I tell you!

  27. Alicia Silverstone something something attempts comeback by hosting snl something something reenacts 10 year-old skit something something Lindsey Lohan.

  28. Bear the Gerberbleeaarrrggghh Baby

  29. Birds don’t have hands. They feed their babies this way because they don’t have hands. Stop insulting birds and use your hands to feed your baby.

  30. “Gag me with a spoon! And then eat all the stuff that comes out of my mouth.”

  31. “Savor it Quickly!

  32. Feed your children like a bird to prevent ever becoming an empty nester.

  33. BAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRFFFFFFFF.

  34. I guess I have to go get my mother to throw up a little in my mouth for me.

  35. “I saw this done once on TLC’s ‘Virgin Diaries’”

  36. “Hot new weight loss plan for Hollywood moms”–People Magazine.

  37. I don’t have an entry here, I just want to say that this post is full of some of my favorite jokes I’ve ever seen, anywhere. Thank you, all of you, I have the biggest The Crush on all of you.(Please don’t let my terrible joke take away from all of your wonderful ones.)

  38. Hey, Age ain’t nothing but a number for these loved-up A-Listers. My BF and I both think so! He is almost 10 years older than I. We met via ~~Agelessmeet .COM~~ a nice place for younger women and older men, or older women and younger men, to interact with each other! Maybe you wanna check it out or tell your friends :)

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