In a letter to Politico, Geraldo Rivera has “apologized” for his explosive remarks last week concerning Trayvon Martin’s responsibility for his own death via clothing choice. And by apology, of course, he means backhanded, condescending attempt to reiterate his original point all over again.

“I apologize to anyone offended by what one prominent black conservative called my ‘very practical and potentially life-saving campaign urging black and Hispanic parents not to let their children go around wearing hoodies,’” Rivera said in an email to POLITICO Tuesday.

Rivera said that “by putting responsibility on what kids wear instead of how people react to them I have obscured the main point that someone shot and killed an unarmed teenager,” and that he was offering a “heartfelt apology” to anyone he may have offended in his “crusade to warn minority families of the danger to their young sons inherent in gangsta style clothing; like hoodies.”

“I remain absolutely convinced of what I said about asking for trouble. There’s trouble enough for minority boys and young men not to provoke mad responses from paranoid jerk offs,” he said.

Why even say that you’re sorry to anyone who was offended, which is already a pretty weak-willed non-apology in the first place, if you are then going to just straight up say the exact same thing that they were offended by in the first place all over again, thereby refuting your garbage apology anyway? If you’re not sorry, don’t say you’re sorry. Everyone already hates you, dumb dumb. I do agree with Geraldo on that last point, though: there IS enough trouble for minority boys and young men not to provoke mad responses from paranoid jerk offs, so maybe this paranoid jerk off should shut the F up.

Comments (33)
  1. “Some of my best friends are prominent black conservatives”

  2. “i am very sorry to anyone offended by what prominent British economist John Maynard Keynes called ‘the most important, significant and, I would add, genuine branch of sociology which exists’”

  3. Shut the fuck up, Geraldo. I wish I could downvote him in real life.

  4. I look forward to Geraldo’s upcoming TLC reality show, “What Not To Wear… If You Want To Live”

  5. “Yes, it is THE HOODIES that are evil.” –

    Mwah-ha hahahahhahahah!

  6. “You give people with a name similar to mine a bad name.” -Gerardo

  7. “I am sorry if I offended anyone with my comments about 9-11, although I remain convinced that if I was there it would have gone down differently.” – Marky Mark.

  8. Everyone in my community will be wearing tinted prescription glasses to church tonight.

  9. He’s got a point, guys. In Star Wars, the only reason Luke didn’t murder Obi Wan when their paths first crossed was because Luke was unconscious when the hooded Obi Wan scared away all the Tusken Raiders. By the time Luke was awake, Obi Wan had removed his hood, revealing a friendly old gay British thespian.

    Same thing in the Lord of the Rings. The Ring Wraiths were actually trying to help Frodo deliver the ring, but because of their hoods Frodo always ran away.

    Hoods just have that connotation.

  10. On that note, I apologize to anyone offended by what one prominent commenter called my very astute point about The Royal Tennenbaums being a bad movie.

    By putting responsibility on what that movie is about instead of how people think they should react to it I have obscured the main point that it is, in fact, a movie about a bunch of unlikeable people in which nothing, ultimately, happens.

    I remain absolutely convinced of what I said about that movie being worthless, however. There’s trouble enough for Wes Anderson not to provoke mad responses from paranoid jerk offs and internet trolls.

  11. Why the fuck is Geraldo Rivera still a thing?

  12. “I apologize if anyone was offended by what one prominent Latino Fox journalist said was something that the kid was totally asking for by wearing a hoodie.

    By putting responsibility on my trigger finger to take care of what I perceive to be a very real problem in my neighborhood, I may have obscured the fact that the kid was innocent and may have interfered with his continuing existence.

    I remain convinced that the kid was asking for trouble, and I have enough trouble as it is with my racism and delusions of heroism and twisted sense of vigilante justice without some black kid who doesn’t belong in my community provoking my insane paranoid homicidal reaction.

    Also, it was self defense. Nyah nyah.”

    - George Zimmerman

  13. Well he’s right. Otherwise why would Fox News have removed all of the hoodies from today? He made a difference!

    • Oh my God. That’s real!?

      • Yup. And they really did have hoodies up until today.

        • I’m not so sure, either way. The day of Geraldo’s comments (later in the day after the story had been around for a little while), I was able to find the Fox News hoodie in question, but only with Google; it wasn’t accessible directly from their web store. So I don’t know whether the hoodie was just indexed by Google and hadn’t been available for some time or if Fox pretty much immediately removed it from their site. I’m sure someone with superior Internet skills could figure that out, though.

    • Jesus why do they have so many ties?!?

  14. Geraldon’t

  15. Hoodies make young men thugs the same way long, thin mustaches make old men pedophiles.

  16. Is it just the crowds I run in, or don’t, like, 90% of Americans (of all races and classes) between the ages of 10 and 35 wear hoodies at all times? Even to work if they can get away with it?

    • “Maybe so, but white people wearing hoodies isn’t really threatening, it’s when bla….oh, wow, I totally get what’s wrong with what I’m saying now.”

      - Fake Geraldo

  17. Geraldo is just pushing his anti-gangster agenda, which he’s been doing ever since that Al Capone incident.

  18. anyone who apologizes for offending anyone (as opposed to apologizing for what he said) needs to get punched in the face. it’s such an obvious PR move that only reiterates this ‘blame the victim’ mentality.

  19. Why is there a picture of Bono instead of Geraldo?

  20. To be fair, Geraldo did find one person in the universe that agreed with him, and on Fox News that’s a quorum.

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