Hey, Farmers. Thanks for taking the time out to chat with me. I know you must be exhausted from getting up at 3AM or whenever and then doing a crazy amount of difficult and probably gross, no offense, things while the rest of us were either sleeping peacefully in our beds or drinking at a bar, depending on our lifestyle. I appreciate it. Let me begin by asking you this — are you tired of being alone? There’s no shame in it. The desire for a partner in life is a common one, especially if it’s a partner who can eventually help you with all of those tasks you have to complete all day in order to run your farm which, I have to stress, seems like A LOT of stuff. Are you tired of online dating sites that cater mostly to people who are not farmers? Just because, in general, I’m assuming based on no evidence at all, people who sign up for dating websites are not farmers? Are all of your farm animals constantly talking to each other about how lonely you are? I understand, and I have a solution.

Those cityfolk can go right to hell, with their not farming and their dating and their websites. It’s YOUR time now! ONLY YOURS! Please find someone to help you run that farm, I think it would greatly increase your quality of life! (Thanks for the tip, topknot.)

Comments (53)
  1. Hay Date

  2. I had to quit that website because I was tired of other farmers offering to “plow” me.

  3. Do they use a Dell computer? Get it..farmers in the dell!

  4. My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is a farmer too, lol. We met online at FarmMingle. com The premiere online community for farmer women seek farmer men or farmer men seek farmer women to meet and share your interests. Ever feel that you would best enjoy someone who a farmer? Leave behind the other general dating sites out there and try us.

  5. how can farmers be lonely when they are surrounded by all those talking animals?

  6. Farmers only? That seems a little elitist. What if I’m just sty-curious? Does it count if I play Farmville a lot?

  7. What about deep sea fishermen like myself?

  8. Similar to the Groucho Marx aphorism about not wanting to be a part of a club that would have him as a member, I don’t want to date a farmer who knows how to use the internet.

  9. I am a (select one): (x) Farmer ( ) Farm Chaser
    Seeking a (select one): (x) Farm Chaser ( ) Farmer

    Must love dogs, cats, pigs, cows, chickens, horses, and certain poverty.

  10. You knew this picture was going to happen. Horny corn farmers and dating websites don’t mix.

  11. I’m filling out a profile, and I gotta be honest, this is some bullshit. FOR INSTANCE, muddin’ is considered both a sport AND a hobby? It’s one or the other, make up your minds! Also, there are only three fields to put my taste in kusic, but there are FOUR options including the word “country.” That is not enough fields for all the country music I listen to!

  12. I bet most people use this site just to meet the daughters.

  13. You know what city folks get? That the “American Gothic” cutsie cartoon they use to portray a happily dating couple was “A farmer standing beside his spinster daughter”. Father-daughter lovin! I guess city folk DON’T get it.

  14. I wonder what kind of conversations they have when they IM each other:
    FarmerHenry2246: There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza, There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.
    LizaLover16: Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry, Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.
    FarmerHenry2246: Do you like it when I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza? How do you want me to fix it, dear Liza, with what?
    LizaLover16: With your straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry,
    With your straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with straw.
    FarmerHenry2246: My straw is really long, dear Liza, dear Liza, the straw is

    Ok you get the point. Starting to creep myself out.

  15. AnyCockLDoooo69

    #BNPG FarmersOnly.com Usernames

  16. HawgHeaven1975

  17. How could they not use Cotton-Eye Joe in the video?

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