In Chloe’s defense, it’s difficult to know how basic mathematic principals work when your husband is preparing to humiliate you on the Internet. Divorce him! Show your work!

Comments (27)
  1. u r sexy but ur bad at math.

  2. I was going to be so upset that my boyfriend married my girlfriend behind my back, but you know, I think I dodged a bullet. I would, however, help my girlfriend pull a for realsies Diabolique on our husband boyfriend. No twists here, who am I, M. Night Shamalan?

    NOTE: I am not actually condoning murder.

  3. It’s difficult being the smartest person in this love triangle.

  4. A simple math question for him: if you get 450,000 people to watch you humiliate your wife for four and a half minutes on the internet, how much money will she make when she sells all your shit on ebay and leaves you?

    • Or at the very least, if you get 450 000 people to watch you humiliate your wife on the internet, how long will it be before she lets you have sex with her again?

  5. Her name is actually Chelsea (not Chloe), but she’s still an idiot.

    • Chelsea Chambers.

      I would call fake, but no one with the fake name of Chelsea Chambers would ever say “can you please stop filming.”

  6. MPH =Meil Patrick Harris, right? What do I win?

  7. (Fake)+(Gay)

  8. Also, if we’re still on the subject of stupidity, stop filming youtube videos while you’re driving on the highway, asshole.

  9. No human being is this dumb. Then again, not many human beings can run 10 miles per hour.

  10. I consider myself to be of at least average intelligence, but one time a few years ago I went to buy my MetroCard, and after inserting my credit card the machine prompted me for my “ZIP code.” Having never seen it in that context I was like “What the hell is that?” and after trying various number combinations, gave up and paid in cash. I went over to my girlfriend’s apartment and started to complain all righteously about the shitty MTA. I was like “They’re asking me for my ZIP code! What the hell is my ZIP—” At that moment, after finally saying it out loud, I realized what it was and was thoroughly embarrassed. She, needless to say, doubled over in laughter at my plight. All I can say is that I’m glad it was not filmed. Because otherwise we would no longer be together.

  11. The real answer is that science has only come so far, but scientists are working real hard to find out these answers. Also, WATCH THE ROAD WHEN DRIVING YOU DUMB ASS!!!!

  12. “If I run a mile in like 9 minutes, then, I mean, but that’s when I’m out of shape, when I’m really in shape, at like 7 minutes is when I’m like really in shape, and that takes me a mile, and the planes were going 80 miles, and I’m running at about, probably 10 miles an hour, if that, and that’s pretty fast for a human being, I mean it’s gotta take at least like 58 minutes or something for me to save the World Trade Center.” — Markette Wahlberg

  13. “If I run a mile in like 9 minutes, then, I mean, but that’s when I’m out of shape, when I’m really in shape, at like 7 minutes is when I’m like really in shape, and that takes me a mile, and the planes were going 80 miles, and I’m running at about, probably 10 miles an hour, if that, and that’s pretty fast for a human being, I mean it’s gotta take at least like 58 minutes or something for me to save the World Trade Center.” — Markette Wahlberg

  14. The only way you could get me to date a carpenter is if he also portrays Ron Swanson on Parks and Rec.

    What is that you say? Unlimited wine?

    Be ready at eight.

    • This posting is in the wrong thread. It was supposed to go under Jesus Date, but here it is in Math Drive. I’m not going to move it though. If Jesus had wanted me to post correctly, he wouldn’t have started me drinking at 11am.

  15. Fuck this guy, he videotapes his wife with the intent to humiliate her AT EIGHTY MILES PER HOUR What a fucking jerk

  16. You married her, dude. I hope you find that just as entertaining every day for the rest of your life. I’m sure it will never get old.

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