“As a celebrity, it is incredibly hard to meet people. I mean, you meet people all the time, but it’s very hard to get to know them, or to trust their motivations. Are they just after your Youth in Revolt money? Do they just want to hang out with the cast of Paper Heart? Is it glitz and glamour they are after, or do they really like you for who you are, and how do you even know the difference when sometimes it feels like everyone’s an actor? And even if you were to learn that their motivations are true, it’s still hard to get to know them as a person. They’re either doing their best to impress you, which I guess everyone does in relationships but somehow it does feel different when you’re a celebrity. The effort is more intense. The flopsweat is somehow more damp. And then you’ve got the backdrops: I don’t even remember how people interacted before their only backdrops were premiere parties, press junkets, awards shows, and celebrity-filled dinner parties and “game nights” up in the hills. What did they do? Go to Pizza King? I don’t remember. But, this is my life now, and I deserve love as much as anyone else. It’s hard to find time for dating with a busy shooting schedule, but if I were able to pick my dream girl I guess her name would be Allison, she would be very young, with brown hair, and a basic understanding of MS Paint. She would say “hi” a lot and that’s actually probably the only thing she would say. P.S. She wouldn’t be crazy.”

-Michael Cera

They are meant 2 be 3gether! (Via RatsOff!)

Comments (22)
  1. “Alison, my aim is true.” — Michael Cera’s Hired Security

  2. She should have thrown a mayonnegg in there, otherwise A++ work.

  3. This girl uses a very liberal definition of “movie”.

  4. She says she loves Michael Cera, but I’d wager she’d settle for Jesse Eisenberg.

  5. I heard Michael Cera already moved to the magical land where celebrities go when they stop being celebrities. He’s roommates with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and on the same bowling team as Delta Burke.

  6. i’m pretty sure the Zodiac killer also concluded his letters with “PS. i’m not crazy”

  7. Fake and Egg

  8. Make a mixtape cd for another girl and I’ll pull it out of the garbage for you

  9. Suuuure. Allison does it and it’s cute, but Jim Carrey does it and it’s deeply unsettling.

  10. le stalker dangereux.

  11. Sorry, Michael Cera is a stickler for grammar.

  12. Did enjoy the voodoo soundtrack, however.

  13. I guess I was expecting more from the Arrested Development movie. That was kind of a letdown.

  14. I didn’t watch the video. Is she a huge fan of hoodies and awkwardness?

  15. When i’ve met Mike it was probably the most disappointing experience of my life, and he’s one of my role models. I’ll tell you why…..most of the time he doesn’t prefer to be approached, seen, or spoken to by his fans…even by accident which happened to me while he was in Sydney. I didn’t do anything racy or uncomfortable that would freak him out, I’ve just walked up to him, kindly introduced myself and asked him for a picture which that part I regret doing. Just search up whether he appreciates his fans on google and you’ll see. I really appreciate him as a person and not as a celebrity, and if you really loved him, having that happen to you would be as devastating as losing a loved one. And as a result of being a celebrity he wouldn’t know whether the person who likes him is after him for his fame, fortune or love, which makes it incredibly hard for him to get to know any human being personally. I am in love with him and feel a true connection towards him, but my love for him is something that he’ll never know or appreciate because of his stardom and distrust for other people. Myself, I’ve tried to get rid of it and put it in the back of my mind but it kept coming back and haunting me. I might just have to live with it till the day I die…and it hurts. Maybe when we meet in the next life or afterlife…he’ll want to talk to me and we can become friends.

    -Ryan Davey

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