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So remember when Jessica Simpson was supposed to do a fitness tape in 2005, but then her father Joe didn’t like the way it turned out and they ended up getting sued by the company that made the tape? No? Well this is still funny: someone leaked footage from the tape, as well as audio of Jessica’s manager calling her a “bitch” to Defamer. So here’s the video Defamer put up, complete with a classic Chicken Of The Sea-type blonde moment:
I love her genuine pondering of the horse marathon question, which, in her defense, is a dumb question anyway. It’s sad that an ENTIRE GENERATION of young people will be forced to be obese because Joe Simpson didn’t like the way his daughter showed them how to move their bodies around in space. And how hard is it to do an exercise tape, anyway?
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jessica, you’ve already changed the condition of this country and — man, i’m so confused about the horses right now.
I for one have no idea how to train cardio. I certainly can’t train my trainer on how to train my cardio. This video just makes me sad about how fat and out of shape Jessica Simpson is now. What the hell happened to her!
Besides the comical hubris of eliminating fatassery in America in a single generation, there’s also their claim that it will not only train you, but train you how to train your trainers to train you (and themselves). I’m sure your trainer (don’t we all have one?) would slap you across the face once he understood what you were saying.
So it’s like, meta-training? And like, God could be this leaf?
Ah. So THIS is where all the unborn babies go…
I totally get it now.
This feels a bit scientology-ish for some reason.