Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: What’s up
Gabe: i’m at the hospital
Kelly: No way, why, what happened?!?
Gabe: just kidding!
Kelly: OH FOR GOODNESS SAKES
Kelly: You scared me half to death
Gabe: this week, like all weeks, nothing much is up
Kelly: Great, same with me
Kelly: Aside from the fact that I’m at the hospital!
Gabe: zip zap zop
Kelly: So here’s something
Kelly: Bill Maher says that liberals should accept Rush Limbaugh’s apology about Sandra Fluke, because we look bad for not accepting it.
Kelly: Did you hear about that?
Gabe: who’s bill maher?
Kelly: Holy moly you can’t turn it off!
Gabe: yes and Bill Maher
Gabe: i feel like he’s right and also wrong
Gabe: and i also feel like what is he even talking about
Kelly: A wide range of feelings
Gabe: how does a vague and non-corporeal group of people “accept” an apology?
Gabe: everyone is just supposed to agree?
Gabe: to accept it?
Gabe: we’re going to have a flash mob
Gabe: at the 100th birthday party for Oreo
Gabe: and at the agreed upon time
Gabe: we will all simultaneously accept his apology
Kelly: You organize it, I’ll get Bill Maher on the phone
Kelly: But I guess he’s saying that everybody should just
Kelly: stop talking about it so much
Gabe: i mean, i do think it “makes liberals look bad”
Gabe: i guess
Gabe: but who cares?
Gabe: i mean look bad to who? a bunch of jerks?
Kelly: I’m sure liberals, as a group, are fine with looking bad by being too upset about this situation
Gabe: “Ugh, all he did was publicly vilify a young woman half his age for speaking her mind. Let it gooooo!”
Kelly: Also what is funny is that
Kelly: I believe Bill Maher’s call for acceptance of the apology came after Sarah Palin tweeting
Kelly: Twitter is where all of my news comes from I don’t know about you
Gabe: all of it, yeah
Gabe: same here
Gabe: wait, sarah palin tweeting what?
Kelly: Tweeting that Barack Obama shouldn’t accept Bill Mahr’s million dollars to his super PAC
Kelly: Since Bill Maher called her a cunt on his show once
Kelly: I MEAN a c word
Kelly: And now Bill Maher is saying “guys let it go”
Gabe: did he agree? did obama turn down the million?
Kelly: Hahah yeah
Kelly: I think he called Sarah and they had a chat about it
Gabe: “Sarah has a point.”
Kelly: Then he gave the million to her super PAC as an apology
Kelly: And now she’s the president
Kelly: Haven’t you been on twitter recently?!
Gabe: shoot, let me get on twitter real quick
Gabe: oh whoa, you’re right i didn’t see this
Gabe: can’t believe she’s president now, that’s crazyyyy
Kelly: I know! Life is truly what happens when you’re busy making plans.
Gabe: i totally understand how bill maher
Gabe: as a person who sort of does the same thing as rush limbaugh
Gabe: and is often incendiary and speaks his mind or whatever
Gabe: and has had his own problems with the public and advertisers turning against him
Gabe: and threatening his career/livelihood
Gabe: could be sympathetic with what Limbaugh’s going through
Gabe: but a) the rest of us don’t have TV shows, guys
Gabe: it’s not like “first they came for Bill Maher’s TV show and I said nothing”
Gabe: but far more importantly
Gabe: rush limbaugh wasn’t attacking a public figure like Sarah Palin
Gabe: or making a blanket statement about 9/11
Gabe: he was trying to destroy a civilian
Gabe: which is a particularly evil and unnecessary thing to do
Gabe: so, you know, fuck his apology? because also it’s not like he made a joke that just got taken out of context
Gabe: or maybe it was a hilarious joke
Gabe: wait, did i miss it? was it funny?
Kelly: Oh yeah it might have been over your head
Kelly: I’m pretty sure
Kelly: he was doing a bit?
Gabe: was it a character he’s working on?
Gabe: was it a Harold?
Gabe: it would be one thing
Gabe: if rush limbaugh got caught up in the heat of the moment
Gabe: and later was like, you know, that was a bit much
Gabe: and i’m sorry i said some of those things, even though i still disagree with this or that
Gabe: but to make a lazy apology only in the aftermath of suffering very serious consequences
Gabe: it’s hard to even feel like going to the flash mob
Gabe: to accept it
Kelly: Haha, right
Kelly: I think us liberals
Kelly: as a group
Kelly: Would be much more inclined to do the flash mob if his apology weren’t just, basically
Kelly: “I’m sorry you got mad at what I said”
Gabe: i mean, i actually don’t mind if he’s not sorry
Gabe: because i know that he isn’t anyway
Gabe: so just don’t be sorry!
Gabe: but don’t say you’re sorry when you’re not sorry
Kelly: And then no one HAS to accept it
Gabe: that is the part that offends me
Gabe: that and every thing he said about that girl
Kelly: Right those two parts are what get me too
Kelly: But sure, if he didn’t give a no-hearted apology that he didn’t mean
Kelly: We could continue to be mad and Bill Maher would like us again, because he’d have no reason not to.
Gabe: really this is just a case of Al Capone’s taxes or whatever
Gabe: people are mad about what he said, but also excited to just have a reason
Gabe: to be mad at him for EVERYTHING over the years
Gabe: people thought maybe they’d get that when he was doing too much oxycontin
Gabe: but that time i guess we did have to accept his apology or whatever
Gabe: bill maher didn’t even have to force us
Kelly: This was a Rush Limbaugh jerk jackpot, and REALLY it only happened like a few days ago
Kelly: So I say
Kelly: Let’s everyone talk about it so much for at least a few more days.
Kelly: And then we do not accept his apology but we move on, and have the flashmob anyway
Gabe: ok, guys
Gabe: you heard kelly
Kelly: Will you get Bill Maher on the phone and tell him the new plan?
Gabe: sext him
Gabe: you slut
Gabe: now i run in front of the chairs and end this scene