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We talk a lot about the Robot Uprising here and, needless to say, we have always been on point. Our death at the cold hand of technology remains imminent, and our fear has been justified yet again by this robot you’re about to see that gallops way faster than any of us can gallop and that, once it Comes Online or whatever, will eventually gallop right onto our stupid, SUSPECTING faces, and kill us all, taking our planet as its Robot Planet and maybe doing a lot better with it than we have done with it as Human Planet, who knows. We’ve already dealt with the serious threat of a running robot, but it looks like our warnings and opposition have again fall on deaf, icarian ears. After the jump you will find video of “Cheetah,” a robot which can run up to 18 MPH, beating the previous robot-with-legs running record of 13 MPH. You know, for all the times we need robots to run really fast and NOT destroy humanity?
Why don’t you spend a little less time developing robots that can beat most humans in foot races, and a little more time developing an affordable car that when I say “drive me to Philadelphia” it drives me to Philadelphia and I don’t have to drive myself at all, and I can just sit in the back and read a book? HUH? (Via Geekologie.)
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Just great. Yet more competition for the treadmills down at the Y.
Yeah, and it’s not like the guy holding the cable has anything better to do than laugh at everyone ON the treadmills. Ugh.
Coincidentally, I have just set a speed record for going to Costco and stocking up my bomb shelter.
That’s where all the Hershey’s Syrup went?!?
I know that it’s tempting to buy in bulk and save, but one of the benefits of shopping local is that you are 73% less likely to have nanobots hiding in your tubs of mayonnaise, waiting for their chance to attack.
Related: has anyone seen this robot elephant made of recycled materials THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY RIDE ON!
I, for one, welcome our automaton overlords.
Too bad that it only goes in one direction: Burning Man.
But can it serve me drinks?
At the very least, it can serve you as a garnish.
This still worries me less than the very cute and very dangerous robot on a bicycle. Don’t be distracted from the real threat, people.
The real question is – if you smash this, will baby cheetah robots come spilling out to run all over your house and haunt your dreams?
I hacked into their computers and found its programming code:
Forgive the snark, Kelly, but I think they already invented that and it’s called a bus.
Siri can’t understand me
I hate robots!