As we all know very well, “first looks” are some of the most exciting little morsels of Hollywood news to ever fall out of the ever-hungry, ever-so-secretive movie mouth that is Hollywood™. “What are the stars going to look like in their new costumes?” we wonder. “What is the SET going to look like?” “What what what what what?!” Because of this, it would be wrong of me to withhold this exciting bit of Ryan Gosling first-look photography, in Nicolas Winding Refn’s Only God Forgives, from all of you, though I would love to keep it all to myself and my own eyes and never let anyone see it, BELIEVE ME. “What is Only God Fogives, though?” you may be wondering. Well here’s what it’s about! From The Playlist:

Said to be more violent than “Drive,” and featuring swordplay to boot, the story centers on Julian (Gosling), who has lived in exile in Bangkok after killing a cop ten year ago. With his brother, he runs a Thai boxing club as a front for the family’s drugs smuggling operation run by his Florida based Mom, Jenna (Kristin Scott Thomas). However, his brother gets into hot water when he murders a prositute, and the cops call on retired cop Chang – aka The Angel Vengeance — to weigh in on the matter. He determines that the father of the murdered girl is allowed to kill Julian’s brother, and in order to set the balance right, Chang then chops off his right hand. Hearing of her son’s death, Jenna arrives in the city seeking revenge and forces Julian to hunt down Chang. He challenges him to a boxing match…and loses, setting Jenna on a path of revenge.

OooOohhhhhhh…? Sounds great. Honestly I only skimmed it, but is it Sin City? Listen, we’re all going to see it anyway, it doesn’t even MATTER if it is or is not just Sin City, as long as Ryan Gosling’s face is added to it somehow. Speaking of Ryan Gosling’s face, WHAT’S HIS FACE GONNA LOOK LIKE IN THIS?

Hahah, oh, very nice! Very nice face. I like how he looks kind of upset, but also kind of silly and a little like he has to barf, or like he just took a bite of something that he wants to spit out but is trying to hold it in until it is socially acceptable to spit it out. And he has a necklace on! Can’t wait to see this movie! Only God Forgives, coming to theaters ????? It’s probably not at all like Sin City, and Ryan Gosling makes a face! Buy your tickets now!

Comments (27)
  1. I’m pretty psyched to see Jerry Lewis as Chang.

    • No way – Senor Chang as Chang. It’ll be the role of a lifetime.

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  2. This is at the point in the movie where Gosling gives a smouldering look toward his foe, and the foe’s head subsequently explodes in slow motion Real-D (Thus making the movie more violent than Drive.)

  3. I actually logged in to say “What?” with regard to that movie synopsis.

  4. HAHAHAHA, that synopsis is ridiculous and it sounds like it was written by Mac from Always Sunny

  5. I have read that and I have still no idea what’s going on except that there’s swordplay involved. Whose right hand gets chopped off? Julian’s? His dead brother’s? The father of the prostitute’s? Chang’s?

    • I think it’s Changs, maybe to add a hook to it and look badass or something, but then how could he win a boxing match?

      • I think it’s Julian’s brothers hand. But if Chang agrees to have let the prostitute’s father kill Julian’s brother than why doesn’t Chang just what the fuck.

        • This is how I interpreted it:
          Chang cuts off the murdered prostitute’s dad’s hand.
          Then apparently the dad kills Julian’s brother.
          Then Julian’s mom makes him go box Chang for revenge on Chang for allowing the dead prostitute’s dad to successfully get revenge on Julian’s brother.
          Then Julian loses the boxing match.
          Then Julian’s mom seeks revenge.

  6. If that’s justice in Bangkok, then I’m over it.

    Dad: “Angel of Vengeance Chang, I want to kill the man who killed my prostitute daughter.”
    Chang: “Hmm. Hmmmmmmmm. *HMMMMMMMMM.* Ok, I got it. You are allowed to seek revenge. But. Just to make it fair we’re going to cut off your hand.”
    Dad: “YES! YES!!! I can’t-wait. What? Cut off my hand? Why? Does the guy who killed my daughter only have one hand?”
    Chang: “No. It’s just so that it’ll be fair.”
    Dad: “Are you guys going to hold him for me, or…?”
    Chang: “Nope. We’re just allowing you to go kill him without interference.”
    Dad: “I’m pretty sure he murdered my daughter with both of his hands. Shouldn’t I get to keep both mine to murder him?”
    Chang: “You’d think so, but no. Look– This is standard revenge procedure. We keep one hand so that you don’t get blood on it, symbolically.
    Dad: “Can’t I just wear a latex glove, or a finger condom, or…”
    Chang: “Nope. Hey, I’m late to go box Ryan ‘Roundeye’ Reynolds. Deputy, take his hand. BYE-YEEEE!”

    And scene.

  7. I am saying right now, for the record, that if sistertables kills a prostitute, I am not getting involved with the aftermath. If you didn’t want to face the consequences, maybe you shouldn’t have been so stab-happy, huh?

  8. Starting to get the impression that the true facts behind the internet’s obsession with this Ryan Gosling fella has less to do with an appreciation for acting or for the theatre and/or dramatic arts, but more to do with mere onanism. When you think about it, that’s kind to be pretty degrading for a professional actor.

  9. It’s real, and it’s fantastic.

  10. Kelly, Ryan is totally making the teeth face but SANS TEETH! That glare is very Walter White.

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