I’m not sure where and when we all went off course in how much we fear and don’t understand and obsess about computer viruses. Is it when we stopped downloading stuff from Kazaa? Is it when we all got Macs? Is it when the local news stopped doing hard-hitting reports on the insidious people who CREATE computer viruses and spread them throughout college campus and also telephone lines everywhere, probably in your house right now? UGH, GUYS! That’s the thing about computer viruses! They wait until your guard is down — right when you think you’ve got your computer stuff under control — and then they strike! Haven’t you learned anything from this news report that you haven’t watched yet from 1988? I’m not sure how you guys are even ON your computers right now, as virus-filled as I imagine they are. Please, do yourself a favor:

Pay no attention to the fact that nothing even happened at all. Put your computer in the closet and close the door! They’re coming for us! FROM CALIFORNIA, MAYBE! (Via VVV.)

Comments (34)
  1. This is the 10 o’ clock news, featuring Christopher Lydon, Carmen Fields, and a surprising amount of copyrighted material under the fair use exception.

  2. I’m glad someone was able to find a good use for E.T. on the Atari 2600.

  3. Part time Virus Hunter. Part time Rabbi. Full time Ladykiller.

  4. Sally Jessy Raphael called. She wants her glasses back.

  5. Considering the time period, I’m surprised they didn’t think it was only a gay computer virus.

  6. “Just as we’ve become totally dependent on our computers…”

    Ha, no. I remember 1988 pretty well, and I seem to remember 99% of people never using a computer for anything ever. The other 1% were either playing videogames or featured in this news report.

  7. I thought Abraham Lincoln: Virus Hunter wasn’t out yet

  8. Hackers (1995) – Memorable Quotes

  9. *Types really fast*
    *Is in Government Mainframe*

  10. This just in, Chet. We have a picture of the suspects.

  11. mark eichin must be on rumspringa

  12. We all thought it was benign, but the all the phones started ringing…

  13. Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see

  14. The suspect… somewhere… a dark genius.


    • Also, if the virus came from California and was spread through the MIT computer labs at night, I will bet all the motherboards in the world that it was some stupid list about why Caltech sucks.

  15. and now, footage of the ET Atari 2600 game for some reason.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.