Photos
I really did not expect to dislike the Academy Awards so much this year. I was kind of looking forward to it! It’s kind of an easy thing to look forward to! AN EVENT! Finally, a reason to eat a bunch of stuff and open a bottle of champagne and wear our outfits that we bought for New Years Eve. I expected to be boring and unpleasant, sure, but MADDENINGLY TERRIBLE? I did not expect that! I guess Billy Crystal had some new tricks up his sleeve after all. Firstly, and I don’t want to harp on this but here I go: the tinny robot noise that happened every time someone spoke? Holy moly! That made the entire night so much worse! I can’t believe they never fixed it! The most important awards show of our life RUINED! And other than that mess, what was the deal with all of the race jokes? Why was that a theme? “I’m totally open to jokes about black people but, please, do keep the rest of the jokes about how old some people are and how things are different now from how they were in the past. Oh and make them all painful to watch, thank you!” Zach Galifianakis and Will Ferrell and Bridesmaids and Tina Fey were there, sure, but what difference did it even make? Zero difference. Just a terrible, boring nightmare of a fame self-celebration. And who even cared about who won any of the awards, except for when Christopher Plummer won his award because that was great. OH! Except for the Christopher Guest focus group. That didn’t make me upset! So, please, scroll through our photo album and remember the bad decision you made about how to spend your Sunday evening. Full list of winners after the jump.
Best picture: The Artist
Actress in a leading role: Meryl Streep, Iron Lady
Actor in a leading role: Jean Dujardin, The Artist
Actress in a supporting role: Octavia Spencer, The Help
Actor in a supporting role: Christopher Plummer, Beginners
Directing: Michel Hazanavicius, The Artist
Cinematography: Hugo
Art direction: Hugo
Costume design: The Artist
Makeup: The Iron Lady
Foreign language film: A Separation
Film editing: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Sound editing: Hugo
Sound mixing: Hugo
Documentary feature: Undefeated
Animated feature film: Rango
Visual effects: Hugo
Original score: The Artist
Original song: “Man or Muppet” from The Muppets
Adapted screenplay: Alexander Payne, Nat Faxon and Jim Rash, The Descendants
Original screenplay: Woody Allen, Midnight in Paris
Live action short film: “The Shore”
Documentary (short subject): “Saving Face.”
Animated short film: “The Fantastic Flying Books of Mr. Morris Lessmore.”
 |
 |
You Might Also Like
 No Oscars For Joaquin Phoenix, Thank You |  Could Jimmy Fallon Possibly Be Hosting The Oscars?! |  Renaming The Academy Awards Venue, Oh No! |  The 2012 Academy Awards Nominees |
Leave a Reply
Sign inSign in with FacebookYou must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.
The Oscars were TERRIBLE. I turned them off after a half hour. That is a big deal for me! The Oscars are my Superbowl! But instead of an awesome event on my tv, there was barf. TV barf. Billy Crystal TV barf. SWINTON, SAVE US FROM TV BARF.
But seriously, who else thinks that Swinton, Fassbender, Gosling et al. were in a hotel room doing shots, relieved at what a terrible barf bullet they dodged?
Billy Crystal’s old jokes were pretty insufferable. I mean, Billy, look at your stretched face. He seriously has no room for old jokes with that face.
And don’t forget that Crystal’s first joke to the audience was about how Jonah Hill could drown his sorrows after losing with cupcakes. Really? I don’t like Jonah Hill, but he made an effort to be more “Hollywood-like” and Crystal makes a fat kid joke. Disappointing.
I didn’t want to make a joke about his face, but apparently he was okay making jokes about other peoples’ faces so…
He’s gross. That’s my point. Unfunny and terrible to look at. Has he done anything redeeming in the past 20 years? Because whatever it is (and I can’t think of anything) was undone by anything he did last night.
I watched it with some friends. I didnt think it was terrible. The girls and the gay dudes talked about the fashion things while I drank beer and gawked at Natalie Portman and Penelope Cruz a bunch. Good times.
Yeah I actually had fun watching it. I’m finding the endless one-sided cynicism in these threads tiresome.
Just do what I did: visit the site less often.
For me, there were a few highlights:
-Dean Pelton FTW!
-Emma Stone acting all cute and Emma Stone-like when she was presenting.
-Learning that Reese Witherspoon’s favorite movie is Overboard.
-Michelle Williams and Busy Phillips sitting up front like a supes cute pair of besties.
-Any time the camera cut to Jason Segel.
-Christian Bale. Need I say more?
I also have to give a shout out to Rose Byrne’s face for being the best “Really? I took off my sweatpants for this?” face!
(Sorry it is so big but not really because she does have the best face)
Ladies and gentlemen, your winner for Best Adapted Deanplay!
Mmmmm Rose Burn.
I loved finding out that Jean Dujardin’s favorite things about the USA are right turn on red, and cinnamon buns.
Damn right! Anybody who has anything bad to say about America clearly has never had a Cinnabon.
Also, he spent all the time at the end of the show, when The Artist won, playing with Uggie on stage left. Then he picked up Uggie and gave him kisses. It was pretty much the greatest thing in the whole world. (Though, to be fair, I had just seen the Oscars so the bar was set pretty low.)
He is a charming man.
Those two plus barbecue is the majority of my list
My highlights:
Michelle and Busy
Jean Dujardin’s face
Chris Rock (really, he probably should have stayed and hosted)
Jean Dujardin’s face
Couldn’t Chris Rock have pulled a citizens arrest, but for Oscar hosting? GO BACK IN TIME AND SAVE US CHRIS ROCK!
(I have emotions about the Oscars. Sorry.)
Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see
I am afraid that we must agree to disagree, good sir, but I am glad that you enjoyed yourself! No sarcasmo.
Billy Crystal was fine as long as he stuck to his corny bits. I am okay with jokes like the “I pulled a hamstring just watching that.” That’s pretty much the level of fun you can expect from an Oscar presenter. I did like his Chapter 11 Theater joke a lot. THE FIRST TIME HE TOLD IT. But the big problem was the jokes that I guess were supposed to be edgier, like the hug a black woman joke which was just terrible in a hundred ways and he should have been booed off stage for that one.
Really? I didnt think it was that bad.
I dont know why you people want the oscars to be “God” or whatever. It was fine for what it was. Just chill out, unplug your computer, go sit by a pond somewhere and look at the ducks. Yeesh.
Chris Rock’s 2 minute bit was funnier than Crystal’s opening song and dance.
Even though VG hasn’t turned me into a snarky cynical deviant, it certainly has ENHANCED my existing pool of snarky cynical deviance, and has made enjoying award shows impossibly difficult. Like, can anyone remember an award show that was LOVED by monsters? Or are these award shows, by definition, not possible to enjoy because Hollywood?
That all being said, I didn’t hate it. Fred Willard/Chris Guest Gang, Don RIckles, Patton Oswalt, EMMA STONE!, Cirque de Soleil, all were “there”. Proud Jason Segel! Nick Nolte Hand Bang Clap! George Clooney reacting to Cirque de Soleil!
Billy Crystal’s jokes were the worst though, and that Gwyneth/Downey Jr bit was the worst, and the movies this year were kind of the worst compared to those of other years. And it was super boring. Okay I hated it. THANKS A LOT!
I loved the Oscars as hosted by Hugh Jackman, but I may be in the minority. And I did like the wins for Supporting Actor/Actress. But oooof billy crystal, oooooof.
Re: Gwyneth – I liked her outfit. Gandalf chic is finally in!
Hugh Jackman Oscars were good!
Jean-Ralphio won an Emmy for writing them!! And Dan Harmon and someone else. They were excellent.
I also like it when the Daily Show writers do the Oscars. Has Colbert hosted or do I just keep thinking he has? I liked it when Chris Rock hosted, though he wasn’t as biting as I wanted him to be based on other stuff he’d done as a host for other shows. Also: I didn’t hate the monologues that Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin did, though I kind of remember being bored for most of that.
But Billy Crystal + interpretive dance (though Cirque de Soleil is wayyy better than the crap they pulled in the early 2000s/90s) + black face + barf barf barf.
To be honest, I don’t even really remember what happened at the Huge Ackman Oscars, it was like 80 internet years ago, but according to my research, it seemed to go over decently around these parts. Yeah, now that i’m thinking about it, Billy Crystal (or his writers or whatever) was just turrible and it had nothing to do with the fact that I have a cold soul for professional entertainment.
[disclaimer] I was oscillating between the Oscars and the NBA All-Star Game, so I may have missed some of the turribleness that would have otherwise contributed to a poorer overall grade being given
Christophers FTW!! Plummer and Guest! (Of course you all know I’m a bit partial to the Guffman crew.) Also, Uggie’s cameo on stage at the end! That was good to see! And Cirque du Soleil was pretty entertaining, I thought. And the In Memoriam segment was surprisingly not terrible. But how high a compliment is it, really, to say that one of the best moments of an awards show was the tribute to the dearly departed?
Also, what happened to Billy Crystal’s face?
Also, did anyone else notice J Lo’s near-nip-slip? I swear that’s why she and Cameron Diaz had to turn their backs to the audience, so she could adjust her wardrobe adhesive!
Let’s never forget Angelina Jolie’s attention-whore leg.
Or the fact that she just generally looked like a human incarnation of Corpse Bride last night. Seriously, if the camera adds 10 pounds, then her arms must weight -9.8 lbs.
At least The Help didn’t win anything!
*scrambles to re-read list just in case*
Nope. But The Iron Lady did.
SSSsssSSSSS – me, if I’d be in the audience.
*been. Please excuse my rage-lexia.
No. Never.
The campaign for 2013 host begins NOW people!
Rich Little….Change you don’t necessarily have to believe in because all my imitations and jokes are of/intended-for dead people, just like Billy Crystal!
Let Jim Rash host next year please.
Kenny Powers in character
Yes.
“The winner is… Meryl Streep. Viola Davis, you fuckin lose!”
Ha ha. “Davis is fucking OUT; Streep is fuckin IN!”
“God blessed me with three things: an arm like a rocket, cock the size of a burmese python and the mind of a FUCKIN SCIENTIST!” Not sure how he’d work that one in to an Oscars bit but you can give it a try.
Reese Witherspoon’s bank account needs to be investigated today, along with Goldie Hawn’s and Kurt Russel’s. Seriously, I think she may have had the worst night of anyone.
Well, her and Sheri Sheppard’s bra.
I’m just about done with Billy Crystal’s shtick. It was good the first 8 times, but there’s nothing new or refreshing about his opening number and ongoing jokes throughout the evening. I’ve always been a big fan, but I think it’s time to retire him for good. There are plenty of other viable, much more relatable hosts they could choose from.
Meanwhile, I though they had the classiest “In-Memoriam” montage last night. I’m glad that no one was clapping, as I expected Whitney and Elizabeth Taylor to be the “Applause-O-Meter” winners.
I’m glad Christopher Plummer won, Beginners is great, though… I really hoped Ewan Mcgregor would get nominated, but heh…and I know many of you will disagree, but The Artist wasn’t THAT good, whatever, my favorite actors/movies don’t get nominated as usual.
Nope, completely agree with you, ofthisland. The Artist is not an Oscar caliber movie. Too caught up in its own gimmick, and it only was carried so far because of Oscar’s huge boner for self-congratulation. I was very frustrated with the winners, which wasn’t hard given the nominees.
What a mess.
If the Oscars were given for neat tricks by the director, then Memento should have won it a decade ago.
Scratch that…gimmick aside, Memento should have won. It was awesome. The Artist will be like Crash in two years, an “ugh, that won best picture?” flick.
Self congratulation? I’d love to hear your explanation on how giving an award a French produced film, directed by a Frenchmen, starring French actors is an example of the good ole boys of Hollywood patting themselves on the back.
Sure there are several films that should have been nominated that weren’t, in my opinion, and I don’t even think The Artist was the best film of the year (for me that would be Shame) but it was a damn good film.
I meant that Oscar has this huge soft spot for movies about movies. Nostalgia carries a lot of weight with these guys, it seems. This isn’t anything new, but this year typifies it. Just look at the two winningest films, The Artist and Hugo – films about the making of and history off and the magic that is movies.
Fair enough. And in full disclosure, being a former film student myself, I also have a soft spot for that sort of thing as well. I think reducing either Hugo or The Artist to just that is doing both films a grave disservice but yes, those are two strong themes in both films.
However, I still fail to see how awarding two films that, in part, celebrate a time period in the history of film when Hollywood had yet to fully capitalize on both world wars to become THE dominate force in global cinema, a time period that still embraced original ideas and creativity both in content and in form, equals something more self-congratulatory than giving an award to any other film at a film awards ceremony.
In fairness, some of the best movies ever (where “best” = “hotspur’s personal favorites”) have been about movies — especially Ed Wood, and Sunset Boulevard. And The Player.
Meanwhile some of the WORST movies have NOT been about movies — coincidence? Pff.
Harvey Weinstein
The Weinstein company was the US Domestic theatrical distributor, nothing more.
that doesn’t mean harvey didn’t campaign like crazy for any of the films his company had anything to do with.
It’s as if they knew they had nothing new to offer this year because this was one of the worst years in film since forever. All they could do was reminisce and go, remember how we all like movies? They’re great, and the feelings they evoke are great, and now here’s Adam Sandler trying to tell us what makes movies great the same year he made Jack & Jill. In order for the Oscars to be something other than a hate-watch, there needs to be movies really worth rooting for and this year I didn’t see that.
Adam effing Sandler. Don’t get me started. That was the other “wait, WTF did he say?” moment.
We got to hear from Sandler that he allows us to see a little bit of himself in every film he’s ever done and he thinks, that by the time he’s 80, he’ll have put it all out there.
I can hardly wait. Amiright?
Probably the most irritating thing about Sandler is that he is self-aware (see: Funny People) but continues to make his garbage movies for no other reason than $$.
I didn’t see the whole show, mostly just the first and last halt-hours, but I can’t imagine anything being better than Brad Pitt describing the plot of “War of the Gargantuas.”
At the end of the show, everybody I was watching with suddenly collectively decided that we wanted War Horse to win Best Picture just because it would have been hilarious, and we had a rousing “War Horse! War Horse!” chant. That was my favorite part (other than Jim Rash doing an impression of Angelina Jolie’s ridic leg pose).
My roommate: “Haha, that guy looks like the Dean.”
Me: *emphatic point* “HOLYSHIT THAT IS THE DEAN!”
“Billy Crystal went from Sleepless in Seattle to Laughless in LA.” — Billy Crystal, if he did real-time meta jokes.
Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis joke makes no sense. I confused Tom Hanks with Billy Crystal. So let’s have some straight talk, I just wanted to use this Nolte gif for something.
No I thought it was funny. I love Bom Crankstal as much as I love Meg Ryan. (I didn’t need to change Meg Ryan’s name because she’s in all the Tom Hanks and Billy Crystal movies.)
It was the Rob Reiner/Meg Ryan connection that threw me off. Going to try again.
““Billy Crystal’s monologue. What can be said? I guess Harry should have spent less time meeting Sally and more time meeting a joke book! Right?! — Billy Crystal, if he did real-time meta jokes.
“Billy Crystal’s monologue…what can be said? I guess Curly’s treasure didn’t include relevent joke material” – Billy Crystal, if he did real-time meta jokes.
“Billy Crystal, that guy — he went from Running Scared the movie, to Running Scared the running.”–Billy Crystal, if he did RTMJ.
Where’s Nolte’s finger?!
OMG!
If Ratner had produced it, it wouldn’t have went down like it did.
Instead The Oscars were produced by the producer of this hair.
Also, I didn’t read the list, but did Karate Kid sweep
the legthe awards? because if so I win the oscar pool.Good one
I’m sorry that I don’t know her real name but Erin from The Office and Bridesmaids looked SENSATIONAL!!!! That dress + her hair color+ her complexion = STUNNING!!!
I spent the evening watching taped episodes of Portlandia and wondering what the overlap is between people who watch Portlandia and people who know who Lamarcus Aldridge is. Anyway, I feel it was nonetheless the best use of my evening
It’s saying something that the biggest surprised of the night was that Meryl Streep won an award.
My tirade against the Oscars, carrying Michael Fassbender’s banner, continues. Someday you will be recognized, my sexy sexy Magneto…
And your sexy sexy Lord Rochester!
And sexy sexy guy who befriends a bear during WWI. Pretty sure that one is called War Bear.
Seriously, it’s called A Bear Named Winnie and it’s very sweet and available on Netflix on Demand.
Bret Mackenzie winning Best Song was the only moment when I was legitimately happy.
…
And Natalie Portman walking out to the ridiculously over-dramatic “Black Swan” theme, because, haha, remember Black Swan? That too. That made me happy.
(Butseriouslyfolks the release of the new Game of Thrones trailer last night was waaaay better than the entirety of the Oscars.)
Any footage of Natalie Portman makes me happy, “Margaret Osler” if that is your name.
Whatttt? New GoT material on the interwebs? Must watch!
The most insufferable thing about Billy Crystal’s schtick is that he doesn’t want to host, and that they have to beg him to host. Total…..bullshit.
I need to know WHEN exactly Nick Nolte morphed into Richard Attenborouogh.
Nick Nolte vs Gary Busey
There were a lot of good films last year, they just weren’t nominated because the academy is made up of 65 year old white dudes who are ignorant enough to act like giving out an oscar to an african american woman is something THEY should be congratulated for, regardless of the fact that ‘the help’ was incredibly devoid of any actual real race struggle & still about white people and making them feel good.
The academy is too old & backward to recognize the merit of films like drive, melancholia, young adult, we need to talk about kevin, shame, take shelter, etc. and you know what… i honestly enjoyed Harry Potter a lot more than any of this year’s nominees, and feel slightly bad that people who worked on those films for 10 years are just kind of scoffed at by the geriatric academy because they are ‘kids’ movies.
So how did Hugo manage to get more awards an nominations than Goodfellas and Taxi Driver combined??? One of the things wrong with this year’s awards that I felt passionately about. The rest of the awards I can sort of understand considering the weak nominations. At least The Help wasn’t as successful as I feared it would be.
Crap didn’t mean that as a reply. Sorry, but I do agree with everything Ghost Wankerer said especially Drive and Melancholia being snubbed in favor of “Incredibly Loud’
I think they were just like, “We have to nominate that rape feministy movie for these technical awards because of how much we already said we like david fincher, but we can probably get away with giving them to Hugo.”
I’m pretty sure Angelina is the other mom in Coraline… the one who’s an insect and devours the souls of children.
Can someone please get her a sandwich? I’m so grossed out by the fact that people thinks she looks good.
also that people think she looks good. The extra S was for Sandwich.
I’m very ambivalent towards Angelina’s weight. Because on the one hand, the sight of her does make me cringe internally, but on the other hand, I feel like ragging on skinny people is the new ragging on fat people, and that’s not progress.
I enjoyed the Oscars because I only watched the last hour and did it in a sports bar. I had a feeling the sports bar on my street would be showing Oscars instead of sports, since I live in Hollywood, and indeed that they were. The crowd was fun and loud, which helped me not hear any of the jokes, too — a huge win.
That is a HUGE win. I’m legitimately jealous because I heard every. awful. joke. Every one. And I wasn’t drinking. And it was painful, but I couldn’t look away because I wanted to see just how awful it would get.
“I’m crossing the Sahara Desert next month. Probably don’t need to bring water, right?” — Phase 2 of your life plan, after completion of Phase 1: Crossing the Oscars Desert without alcohol.
Can I bring alcohol to the desert?
I think Kristen Wiig should attend every awards show in character as Mindy Gracin from Secret Word.
I think she should be the lady who reviews movies. “Happy Feet? My feet weren’t happy until I walked out on that stinker! Oh Brother! I give this one a WWHHHHAAAAAA!??” Rad character.
If we could somehow clone Wiig and then have her be BOTH characters together and hosting the awards, that would be perfect.
I want to see Nick Nolte host the oscars
http://lnk。co/IKZT4