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Traditionally, a Porno Switcheroo involves seeing porno when you were supposed to see something else. Porno is primarily a visual medium. But it’s got a pretty recognizable soundtrack, and when that soundtrack accidentally gets overlaid on a bed of jazz radio, well, now you’ve got a Porno Switcheroo if I ever heard of one. From the news desk at radiotoday.co.uk:
According to tweets, sexual noises from what appeared to be an adult film played around 7:15pm, in which time many listeners noticed and commented about it. Some were enjoying a family evening meal when the “disgusting” and “porno” noises were broadcast.
The programme on-air at the time, Funcky Sensation with Mike Vitti, was pre-recorded so an apology has not yet been broadcast.
First of all, I love any news story that begins “According to Twitter.” Second of all, OH THOSE POOR FAMILY MEALS! Who listens to jazz radio during a family meal? And with such force of attention that the thin sounds of porn are unmistakable in the perfect silence of that dining room? No wonder your kids hate you. Of course, Funcky Sensation host Mike Vitti does the classic Porno Switcheroo Blame Dance:
A statement on JazzFM.com says: “Unfortunately we had an unauthorised access to the live feed this evening which resulted in a highly regrettable incident. Please accept our profound and sincere apologies for any offence that may have been caused.”
Mike Vitti told us: “There was unauthorised activity and behaviour in the studio which we take very seriously and we will be taking the appropriate disciplinary action against the individual concerned.
I bet Funcky Sensation Mike Vitti DOES take this very seriously. Because there’s no way there was “unauthorized activity and behaviour in the studio.” There never is! Someone (named Funcky Sensation Mike Vitti) accidentally mixed porno into their pre-recorded jazz program and that’s that, although I still do not understand what a pre-recorded jazz program is, but I don’t have a family to eat dinner with, so maybe it will all make sense later in life. Perhaps the most exciting part about this particular Porno Switcheroo is that we get to experience it for ourselves! Listen here.
Now I can’t wait for the smell or touch-based Porno Switcheroo! (Thanks for the tip, Trevor.)
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It’s the orgasms they’re not having.
It’s the upvotes you’re not getting.
It sounded like porn based on what I’ve heard about porn from my friends, I certainly don’t own any porn, I have a wife and children
That’s just what you get when you mic the bass player.
#jazzbandhumour
Jizz.
Fun fact – the word “jazz” is derived from the word “jass”, which was a slang term for fucking. So, this is sort of appropriate as porno switcheroos go.
I’m surprised they could hear the music over the sound of their collective monocle dropping and pearl clutching.
A Dong Supreme #jazzporn
Kind of Blue Balls #jazzporn
Take Five Guys at Once #jazzporn
Charles Thingus #jazzporn
Better Get It In Your Hole #jazzporn
Take Five Inches #jazzporn #underwhelmingporn
Ellington at Newporn #jazzporn
Blew Train #jazzporn
Herbie Hancock #jazzporn #tooeasy
Hot College Bitches Brew #jazzporn
Bitches & Brew #jazzporn
Sarah Jessica Pornker #literallytheonlythingiknowaboutjazzisthatoneepisodeofsexandthecitywhencarriehookedupwiththejazzmusicianandthenrealizedhehadaddandwouldquicklyloseinterestinherwhichtobefairyoudonothavetohaveaddtoquicklyloseinterestincarriebradshaw.\
So much effort wasted. Ugh.
Having a family myself, I’m calling bullshit. Everyone knows that the appropriate soundtrack for family dinner is the soft rock station. Nothing goes together quite so well as meatloaf and Meatloaf.
“Dad, can we listen to something else? We’re tired of having Vanilla Fudge for dessert.” –facetaco’s kids.
“Shut up and eat your Korn.”
“Please pass the Salt ‘n Pepa” -mrs facetaco
You think I would allow that sort of sweets for dinner? The Tacos are healthy; the only dessert my kids are getting are Fiona Apples.
Bing, you stupid idiot. Do you even know what radio is?
I feel like we might have talked about this once before, but what’s with the word “porno”? I have never heard it used by anyone I know – instead, it’s “porn.” Is it a regional thing? Is saying “porn” as a stand-alone noun a Canadian thing, like pronouncing the first “r” in “forward”? Enlighten me, oh monsters!
You can “watch porn” but I think it’s “a porno”. I don’t think I could say “watch a porn” and feel okay about it afterwards.
Ah. See, I would never say “watch a porn” either. Because I’m a lady. But someone less genteel than myself would say “watch some porn.” Or “pornographic videotape,” if it’s a formal setting.
Classygum presents Erotic Film Mishaps.
Aural porn.
I can’t tell if he is just using a porn soundtrack to find his smooth jazz, or if an intern had sex in the room with the microphone still on.
Kenny G was showing an intern his saxophone, if ya know what I mean.
So, back in the 90′s sometime I bought the Monty Python Search For The Holy Grail Computer Game. I was pretty excited about it. It had a long rather funny installation process, with lots of goofy stunts. I thought this was great. But I was installing it late in the evening, alone in my room, while my parents entertained an elderly couple that came to visit. And right as they started down the hallway to come say Hi to me in my room, the game randomly popped up with a window that said, “Now playing Erotic Noises.wav” and started playing loud noises of some excited British lady jumping on a trampoline, while a guy went “Ho ho ho!” or something ridiculous. And I frantically had to try to turn the sound down and turn it off, just moments before they walked through the door. This was impossible to explain my way out of. Possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of my youth. So, good job Monty Python game developers. Because I’m sure you are reading this blog right now.
That doesn’t explain why you weren’t wearing pants though.
Wait, I thought everyone watched Monty Python without pants on.