Gabe: hey kelly
Kelly: Hey, Gabe
Gabe: how’s it going?
Kelly: Oh, fine. No complaints, how’s it going with you?
Gabe: good!
Gabe: i’m doing good, thanks
Kelly: That’s great.
Gabe: ok, great talking to you
Gabe: nice catching up!
Kelly: No, hold on a sec
Kelly: So I read that thing you wrote yesterday about how everyone is terrible
Kelly: And it was great, good job
Kelly: But one thing you failed to mention
Kelly: Was how GREAT it is to see Chris Eigeman again!
Gabe: kelly, what’s going on?
Gabe: are you OK?
Kelly: Oh yeah I’m fine
Kelly: Why
Gabe: it just seems weird that you’re still talking about the Girls trailer
Gabe: when BAM MARGERA HAS BEEN ARRESTED

Kelly:: Oh EXCUSE ME
Kelly:: Egg on my face
Kelly:: I forgot that it was A DAY
Gabe: i’m not trying to embarrass you
Gabe: i’m just confused
it feels like you’re avoiding the subject
Gabe: “oh hahaha, let’s talk about the Girls trailer because I’m sure Bam Margera is fine”
Gabe: well guess what
Gabe: he’s not fine
Kelly:: I’m sure he’s fine.
Gabe: HE’S BEEN ARRESTED AT MARDI GRAS
Gabe: FOR SWIMMING IN HIS CLOTHES
Kelly:: That’s a super sad story and I’d love to hear it again sometime, but did you forget about how excited you were
Kelly: When you saw a brief glimpse
Kelly: Of CHRIS EIGEMAN?
Kelly: IN THE GIRLS TRAILER?

Gabe: that was pretty exciting
Gabe: but it’s hard to hold onto that rush
Gabe: when your world is crumbling around you
Gabe: because you’re SICK to your STOMACH
Gabe: worrying about BAM
Kelly: Well I’d rather not worry about Bam until we have all the facts, it’s a waste of time to worry about someone when you have all the facts
Kelly: And speaking of having all the facts
Kelly: It was exciting when the FULL LENGTH Girls trailer came out yesterday, because I was excited about it since I saw the not full length trailer
Kelly: But to be honest
Kelly: I’m not entirely sure WHY I was?
Kelly: Other than that it is a show that is for exactly me
Gabe: well
Gabe: that seems like the answer?
Gabe: it seems like you know exactly why
Kelly: Chris Eigeman
Kelly: JKJKJKJK
Kelly: Well I kind of liked Tiny Furniture
Kelly: But the thing I don’t really like about it, and movies like it, is how we’re all supposed to be so impressed with these peoples personalities
Kelly: that we’re ok that it’s boring
Kelly: Which is certainly not something that I am familiar with AT ALL.
Kelly: But anyway
Kelly: Girls, like you were saying yesterday
Kelly: Seems like we’re supposed to be so impressed with these peoples personalities, but all of them have bad personalities?
Kelly: Really I’m still confused about it, and I’m STILL going to watch it.
Kelly: You say something about it now
Gabe: i said a lot about it
Gabe: yesterday
Gabe: before i knew
Gabe: that Bam Margera
Gabe: was ROTTING IN PRISON
Kelly: oh my goodness.
Gabe: FREE BAM! FREE BAM! FREE BAM!

Kelly: I did like seeing all of our old Tiny Furniture pals again.
Gabe: “Your honor, Kelly doesn’t know whether or not she’s going to like some TV show.”
Gabe: “So please let Bam go.”
Gabe: how does Girls make you feel, as a woman?
Gabe: is Leah Dunham the voice of your generation
Gabe: the way that Bam Margera is the voice of my generation?
Kelly: She’s SOME voice of A generation lol
Gabe: when you watch that trailer
Gabe: do you just see a reflection
Gabe: of your own experience as a young woman in New York City
Gabe: the same way that when I watch Bam Margera
Gabe: put an alligator in Phil and April’s bed
Gabe: in the middle ofthe night
Gabe: i see a reflection of my life as an old man in suburban Pennsylvania
Kelly: Well, NO!
Kelly: It doesn’t seem very realistic
Kelly: Even though it seems like it really thinks it’s super realistic
Kelly: Which makes me UPSET
Gabe: oh
Gabe: you want to get real?
Gabe: then let me take you down to the prison
Gabe: where a true artist
Gabe: has been LOCKED UP
Gabe: for SWIMMING WITH HIS CLOTHES ON
Kelly: UGH GABE THIS IS SERIOUS

Gabe: it’s like, are we still in America?
Kelly: Did you hear the part when I said I wasn’t sure why I was looking forward to seeing it, when I couldn’t really put my finger on why?
Kelly: GET WITH IT
Kelly: BACK ON TRACK
Kelly: GIRLS TRAILER FROM YESTERDAY
Kelly: Like I feel like
Kelly: you know
Gabe: trapped?
Gabe: you feel caged in?
Kelly: I hate to sound like someone opposed to occupy wall street
Kelly: But like hey Lena Dunham
Kelly: GET A JOB?
Kelly: Then you’ll have enough money for lunch every day
Gabe: well, she has a job
Gabe: making a show about not having a job
Kelly: I meant character lena dunham, gabe
Kelly: Please.
Gabe: here’s a job for you: making license plates and breaking rocks
Gabe: this is just the kind of hardship that an American Patriot
Gabe: Bam Margera
Gabe: is suffering in prison
Gabe: while you sit on your high horse
Gabe: nit-picking the trailer for a TV show about children
Kelly: I am a child
Gabe: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
Kelly: We’re not all A MILLION YEARS OLD
Gabe: WELL MAYBE WE SHOULD BE
Gabe: then we would all understand
Gabe: the injustice in the world
Gabe: where a man like Bam Margera is sentenced to life in prison for swimming with his clothes on at Mardi Gras
Gabe: while you try and figure out why you are going to watch a show that your’e definitely going to watch

Gabe: “Yes, but why?”
Gabe: -Kelly Conaboy
Gabe: “I’m in fucking jail.”
Gabe: -Bam Margera
Kelly: Ugh I guess you’re right, I’m sorry.
Gabe: “I’m not talking to my friends from pre-school.”
Gabe: -Lena Dunham
Kelly: hahaha
Kelly: UGH
Kelly: That show makes me so mad I can’t wait to watch every episode.
Gabe: you’re just mad
Gabe: because you see so much of yourself in that show
Gabe: the way that i am so mad
Gabe: that Bam Margera has been arrested
Kelly: I AM NOT.
Gabe: “Le Girls, C’est Moi” – Kelly Conaboy
Gabe: “Je suis prison!” – Bam Margera
Kelly: “I’M BARF” – Gabe
Gabe: first they came for Bam Margera and Kelly did nothing

Comments (24)
  1. So many firable offenses in this friendly chat… that Bam news must have really hit you hard to let them all go, Gabe.

  2. Today I learned that it’s illegal to go swimming with your clothes on. Now I know why our nation’s prisons are overcrowded with fat kids in wet t-shirts.

  3. I will play the Tony Hawk 4 Alcatraz level using Bam’s character in his honor.

    • Is that the level where you get given goals by an Alcatraz Tour Guide even though in actual fact, Alcatraz only offers a self-guided audio tour? That was where the series really jumped the shark for me. It’s like the developers didn’t even give a single hoot about realism!

  4. I was discussing the “Is everyone assholes?” idea with a friend last night, and they brought up the very interesting point of how entertainment is effected by where we as a population are living. Within the past few years, for the first time ever, more people are living in cities then there are in rural areas. Consequently more and more people are having to deal with other people on a daily basis. That means that more people are aware of how people can be rude and assholes, and can appreciate it when that is depicted in a humorous or empathetic way. And they can appreciate the injustice of a man being jailed for merely swimming with his clothes on.

  5. I love Chris Eigeman too

  6. I’m confused about the charge of swimming with his clothes on. If he took his clothes off wouldn’t there be more charges?

  7. I normally don’t get a chance to read the Gabe/Kelly chats but mannnnnn this was awesome.

  8. I, for one, am glad Bam kept his clothes on.

  9. I know this is a generalization, but every Bam I’ve ever met has been radical to the exxtreme.

  10. “Call 911. Something resembling a Gothic scarecrow is doing laps in the pool!” — Tom Casters, night manager of the Omni Royal Orleans Hotel.

  11. I have nothing against Chris Eigeman but I really didn’t like Jason on Gilmore Girls so I can’t get behind this excitement.

  12. for reals, kelly? i have so much respect for you, but digger stiles is the absolute worst!

    “get the tacos, you love the tacos!”

  13. Hey guys, does anyone know of a website where I can find a friendly and comfortable environment to meet bisexual and bi-curious individuals to make new friends and establish romantic relationships? I was hoping that maybe someone here might be able to help me find one, regardless of the context of this particular post, which, frankly, I’ve already forgotten. Thanks in advance!

    • Hmmm… well I don’t claim to be an expert, but I have to say DATEBI*COM the best site I have ever joined so far. They verify all members. Unlike other sites,NO scammers or fake profiles here, and you can meet many rich or mature women as well, including celebs, famous stars.BEST OF LUCK!

  14. These are the best.

  15. Shit, I think I just made TMZ some money. Can you put something next to these links like “Warning: TMZ link”?

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