Not too long ago, we all had a good time checking in with Toddlers & Tiaras. We were introduced to a terrible mother and saw the delightfully terrible little girl say “a dollar makes me hollar honey boo boo child,” and she has since become a superstar. It’s funny to think of how naive we were at that point, thinking that the mothers of THOSE children were monsters. “How could the fill their children up with Mountain Dew and pixie sticks, paint their tiny faces with makeup, and force them to trapse around on stage in a beauty pageant?” we thought. “These are certainly the most terrible entertainment-focused moms on television, and certainly those children will grow up to be the most damaged children who were made to take place in a reality TV show about the already terrible thing they were doing outside of that reality TV show. There definitely aren’t any worse ones. At least we know that this has gotta be the bottom.” It’s super cute and stupid how we all thought that when we hadn’t even seen any clips from DANCE MOMS yet!

Ooooooooooh my goodness. At least Toddlers & Tiaras is cloaked in a veil of whimsey. At least they add silly noises into the soundtrack sometimes. This show is just straight up terrible moms being terrible to each other, which I thought was bad enough, and then a monster woman SCREAMING at children until they cry? Great job, Lifetime! You really did it! You really made a terrible, sad show that I can’t believe you make why do you make this show! I feel terrible now! Have a good day! (Via BuzzFeed.)

Comments (19)
  1. Man, these people suck.

  2. I watched this video on mute and it was still too loud.

  3. I think Abby Lee Miller might be a serial killer.

    Or your girlfriend.

  4. I guess we now know…

    Who the Real Monsters are…


  5. All of these shows with terrible parents are just part of a long con to get people to tune in to “Dr. Drew’s Reality Child Therapy” in 2017.

  6. I must be a polygamist, cause I’m not satisfied just having all these women as my girlfriends – I want to marry every one of them.

  7. The parents on these shows are really awful, sure, but I think it’s seriously morally reprehensible that these shows exist. They just give these people even more motivation to do what they do, because they’re the types who love the attention, good or bad.

    • I don’t entirely agree with you on this one.I mean, I agree with you, it’s bad that these shows are out there perpetuating this type of behavior. But I am very firmly against censorship, so I can’t really say that they SHOULDN’T exist. I put all the blame on the people who watch them. Networks should be free to make this garbage television if they want, but people should have the decency not to support it.

      • I don’t argue that they have the right to put whatever they want on TV, and certainly it would be best if people didn’t watch it. and it went away, but clearly that’s not happening. I just think it’s morally wrong to shine a light on this stuff unless you’re doing something to put a stop to it, and for that reason I think they do deserve some of the blame for what happens to these kids. It’s not really that far off from somebody making a reality show about child abuse.

        • You’re definitely right about that. The person who looked at a mother dressing her 5-year old daughter up in a skimpy outfit and making her dance on stage and said “Let’s put this on television,” is clearly the worst.

          • I can’t tell if this is sarcastic, but I’m sure we would all agree that the mother is the worst, right? Like, someone had a good idea to exploit clearly insane people which sucks (but kind of also is a great idea if you hate everyone and can make money off a TV show that pretty much caters to the worst in everyone…then again I’m someone who would feel no shame in owning a snake oil business because hey, don’t buy Snake Oil, idiots…but if you’re gonna…buy it from me, at least), but she signed the papers putting herself and her daughter on TV. So of all the people who are the worst, the parents are very very obviously the absolute worst and probably should be locked away and should not have kids.

          • I was trying to clarify that I wasn’t being sarcastic, but even that’s really hard to do without sounding sarcastic. So just trust me when I say that it wasn’t meant that way at all.

  8. The fuck is wrong with these parents? I don’t have any kids, but my protective instincts kicked in as soon as that maniac started yelling at them. I’m pretty sure if anyone spoke to my kids that way, I would make it my mission in life to ruin them.

  9. sometimes i wonder what would’ve happened if my parents had just pushed me a little bit more when i was younger, and then i see shit like this, and realize that they did just the right amount of not being overbearing nightmares hellbent on scarring me for life.

  10. Oh my god, she is a big mess of terrible. (By she, I’m referring to the show, like you would a ship. Like a ship overrun with plague-ridden rats.)

  11. Good news, guys! I was a part of the dance industry for over 10 years, both as a child competitor and then as a young choreographer and coach, and this show is totally unlike the actual industry! Yes, there are some hard-ass parents here and there, but every studio has kids who love their teachers and love to dancing and they get genuine satisfaction and accomplishment in a healthy environment of good-spirited competition. I don’t even know what sort of weird, backwards, soul-crushing world these folks are representing, but I’ve never seen anything like it in my participation at dozens of regional and national competitions.

  12. “Diva table for one” is not a complete insult. I’m so confused.

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