Hey, ladies. You look great! Your clothes always fit you so well, do you get them tailored? You do? Is that expensive? Not to pry. But it looks like it really makes a difference, and I was wondering if you maybe think I should do it? I don’t have any nice clothes, do you need nice clothes to do it? YOU DO? Well whatever, anyway, as we all know, there is a point in every woman’s life at which she decides whether or not she wants to get married to someone. It might be an answer she was aware of forever — that she always wanted to get married and have someone to rely on for the rest of her life until she was dead or divorced, or that she always wanted to stay single because she was fine by herself and please just leave her alone about it. Or it might be something she decides when she sees a sad movie, or a happy movie. Or reads a sad book? WHO KNOWS? It could be anything. But it is a decision a woman is thought to have to make in relative youth, lest you be OLD and GROSS and UNMARRYABLE. Until THIS LITTLE OLD LADY GOT MARRIED, THAT IS! The world is a new place now. Her name is Dana Jackson and she is 100 years old and she is marrying an 87-year-old named Bill and she is adorable and the best!

You see, ladies? Just wait it out. By the time you’re 100, all of the younger men will be blind and you will look much more adorable in your wedding dress than you would have at any other time if your life anyway. Plus you’ll be super sweet. Life can be beautiful! (Via Dlisted.)

Comments (25)
  1. I love Beetlejuice! #thatsjustareallymeanjoke.

  2. She’s actually 45, she just might as well be 100 since she wasn’t married

  3. This is gross. He’s 13 years younger than her.

  4. “In other news, water is wet.” – Willard Scott

  5. Did anyone else’s desks get really dusty all of a sudden? And the dust is cutting onions? That’s rude, dust. Cut onions in the kitchen like everyone else.

  6. I heard that instead of throwing out the bouquet, the bride opted instead to throw out her hip.

  7. but can you get gay married at 100?

    • Sadly, no. There’s a little known provision in marriage equality laws which states that you can only be gay-married if you were born after the period in which homosexuality was invented. And since gayness didn’t come about until the late 1960s, centennarians are ineligible.

  8. My mom is in her 80′s, and she recently had to break up with her boyfriend because he was calling too often and wanted to go out every weekend! She took him back, but he’s limited to two calls a week and one date every other weekend. It can happen, ladies!

  9. Girl Stuff: You Can Get Married When You’re 100! #hollywoodpostitnote

  10. oooh, may she can tell us what sex is like.

  11. Shotgun wedding, I’m sure.

  12. I am almost certain she should not be wearing white.

  13. Old people need subtitles?

  14. I ain’t sayin he’s a golddigger, but he ain’t messing with no octogenarians.

  15. I really can’t think of a better place to have a bridal shower than Ryan’s steakhouse.

  16. This video is by AARP.

  17. But is it her first marriage or is she damaged goods?

    #MutuallyExclusiveGum

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.