“When you first start to watch DogTV, you may notice that it’s a little bit different. It is! It’s not designed for people. It’s designed for dogs.” A NEW BREED OF TELEVISION, INDEED!

DogTV, everybody. A real thing. America. 2012. Rise of the Planet of the Dogs. Love it. This is a pretty important FAQ from the DogTV website:

Should I watch DOGTV with my dog or leave him alone?
DOGTV was designed for dogs who have to stay home alone. While there is no need for you to watch DOGTV with your dog—unless this is his first time—you are more than welcome to watch DOGTV together! We’re sure you’ll have a great time.

Hahah, uh, you’re both wrong. The answer is do whatever you want it is a dog! You have to watch DogTV with your dog the first time? Why? So it doesn’t get confused as to why you’re not watching The Real Housewives of Atlanta Reunion Part 2 Hosted by Andy Cohen? Wait! If your dog watched DogTV alone the first time, will your dog accidentally ENTER THE TV? Last Action Dog style? Yikes. I take it back. You should be there. My only remaining question is can I get rid of all my cable channels EXCEPT DogTV? Please advise, doctor. (Via BlameItOnTheVoices.)

Comments (40)
  1. So this means Uggie can watch the Oscars and realize he’s not invited.

  2. I don’t know if Im viewing in dogVideogum mode, but I can’t see the impoverished kids picture.

  3. “Oh, right, Margaret, you wanted prime rib. Here’s the deal: The Palm wasn’t taking reservations, and I didn’t even try Morton’s because I understand they have a new chef. So for now, let’s just go with the Alpo, okay? I know it’s not your first choice but keep in mind… you’re a fucking dog!”

  4. “I love my dog, but I wish there were some way he could he more like an unemployed roommate.” – inventor of Dog TV

  5. So when your dog walks into the room and catches you watching dogTV alone, is that kinda like when your girlfriend* walks in catches you watching the Lifetime Movie Network?

    *I don’t have a girlfriend, so I’m free to watch all the Lifetime Movie Network I want!

  6. Best New Party Game! TV shows for dogs. Go!

  7. The vacuuming bit is like a Friday night fright night for my my baby boy.

    • I have a feeling that because it’s not right next to him and it’s not loud and it’s not rumbling the floor, the TV vacuum will have little to no effect.

  8. Did anyone watch the sample clips? That “Exposure” video was INTENSE.

  9. “im shocked to hear of the revelation that it is not in fact bacon” – dog after watching scathing expose on beggin strips

  10. I remember the good old days, when this was still just on Scrooged, and was presented as a ridiculous parody of network television.

  11. My dog heards everyone into the living room around 8 p.m. Why? Because I raised him right. Also, he LOVES anything with owls. He’ll be asleep, an owl noise will play and he is UP and watching. Does not care for owls in real life, just TV owls.

    • I honestly didn’t realize there were that many TV programs that played owl noises. Of course now when I watch TV, I’ll probably hear nothing but owl noises. Goddamn power of suggestion.

      • I didn’t realize it until my dog stood up and was like “what the fuck was that?” and started watching TV — usually in nature documentaries or movies about nature or just basic outdoorsy stuff. Squeaky toy noises too, but that’s to be expected as they’re coming from THE PUPPY BOWL. Some shows get him to bark at the front door if the doorbell rings, though he doesn’t do it in Portland because I don’t have a doorbell… but if we’re visiting my parents, who are very fancy and *do* have a doorbell, he goes a little crazy. He is a very smart little guy.

  12. I just want everyone to know that one of the FAQ in the FAQ section of Dog TV is:

    Is DOGTV for all breeds?

  13. shouts to everyone who made dog tv posible, we did it!!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post, reply to, or rate a comment.