Last night’s season 5 premiere episode of Lost killed it! I think! It’s hard to tell! We are obviously getting into deep mindfuck territory (Deep Mindfuck Territory is my fourth album, it’s conceptual), although I will say that it’s finally starting to feel like the writers might at least have the tiniest idea of what they’re doing. If only because this show is so dangerously close to becoming entirely unwatchable that any lazy slip-ups and America will quickly abandon Lost for an old episode of Wipe Out! on DVR. Good old Wipe Out! Even if Sheryl makes it passed the Boxing Wall, she’s sure to bounce off the Big Balls into some mud!

In any case, this show is impossible to recap, at least for me. To recap something you have to UNDERSTAND it. If you want some kind of minute-by-minute commentary, you can check out Sasha Frere-Jones’s liveblog, and my guess is that Dan Hopper over at Best Week Ever will be doing a thorough and nerd-pleasing recap at some point today. The man is like a Lost Mystery Bible. We don’t usually like to outsource like that, but there is a reason outsourcing exists: cheap.

But there is one mystery that I feel confident Videogum will be the only site to comprehensively address (sorry Lostpedia). WHAT’S IN THE SANDWICH?!

When Hurley brings a drug-bullet-addled Sayid to his parents’ mansion after Ghost Anna-Lucia told him to find someone he trusted, his father, Cheech Marin, is just about to start eating his lunch, which consists of a sandwich, some grapes, and chips. But WHAT’S IN THE SANDWICH?

Now, there are a few things that we know are in the sandwich:





Classic caviar and salami sandwich, basically. You know, lunch. Now, you’ll notice in the lower right hand shot with the caviar, A SLICED TOMATO! You guys have to pay attention to the details on this show or you’re never going to understand what’s happening. For example, did you know there was CHEESE on the sandwich? Well, there is:

OK, so we’ve established that there is tomato and cheese on the sandwich. Big deal. Anyone with a DVR, Quicktime Pro, and a few hours on their hands could figure that out. But here’s a question for you: no condiments? On a sandwich?! Aha, well that’s where things get interesting. Because when Cheech Marin goes to pick up the jar of caviar, you can see in the background a blurry bottle of what appears to be….


Don’t believe me? OPEN YOUR EYES, SHEEPLE.

There was mayonnaise on that sandwich all along. There are only 33 episodes left, you need to PAY ATTENTION.

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Comments (19)
  1. Maybe it was veganaise.

  2. I actually understood a good portion of what was going on, but when he put caviar on that sandwich I had to rewind just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things.

    That must be why people who in the lottery loose their money so quickly, their parents spend it up making caviar sandwiches and using $100 bills as cigars.

  3. Instead of asking WHAT is in the sandwich, we need to figure out WHEN is the sandwich? And the answer is never because, gross Cheech. You really need to go back to Sandwich School, because that sandwich makes no sense.

  4. Your caviar mayo sandwich isn’t gone. It hasn’t been assembled yet.

  5. This should have been posted under That’s Your Sandwich

  6. I can’t believe that no-one has yet pointed out the obvious connection to the Mayo Clinic. Dr William Mayo came from Salford, England. Salford served as the basis for some of the writings of Karl Marx, who of course inspired Lenin, whose name is very close to Lennon, as in John Lennon, who was an inspiration for Charlie on Lost.

    Also, the Mayo Clinic was located in Rochester (Minn). Rochester was the name of the valet-chauffeur on the Jack Benny program. Note that Benny is a nickname for Benjamin. Jack Benny was famous as a penny-pincher. And just who is Benjamin Linus after? That’s right. Penny.

    So, clearly, the mayo on that sandwich proves that Hurley’s father is working for Ben and Charlie.

    Damn, those Lost writers are clever.

  7. Why aren’t we talking about the funniest moment of last nights episode: When Frogurt, seemingly random character who barely has any main show time, is hilariously struck down by a FLAMING ARROW.

    • Yeah, Lost just went Denethor all over that Frogurt! Amazing? Yes. Funniest moment? No. That honor goes to the flying Hot Pocket of death. Frogurt on fire is definitely a close second though.

    • i  |   Posted on Jan 22nd, 2009 -3

      i don’t watch lost, because lost is a way-too-intricate mindfuck of a show about supernatural things whose conclusion has no chance of being able to live up to its fans’ expectations – but i’m pretty sure there’s not a character on lost whose name is frogurt. i think you’re confusing lost with the freezer of a female sitcom character from the late ’90s.

      • No no, I think you are confusing Lost with a show where things make sense and people aren’t named Frogurt. Because they don’t and people are.

  8. Anyone else think Charlotte IS Faraday’s mom?!?

  9. Aaron  |   Posted on Jan 22nd, 2009 0

    I pretty much always make myself a caviar sandwich right before tuning into to favorite TV show……Exposé!

  10. IanYawn  |   Posted on Jan 23rd, 2009 0

    That is cheap-ass supermarket “caviar” 5 bucks for the whole jar – oooh clever irony!

    I should have known better. I want my 3 hours back.

  11. Jonnathan  |   Posted on Jan 23rd, 2009 0

    Best Lost Comment EVER!

  12. I laughed out loud when he put the caviar on the sandwich.

    The funniest moment though was Hugo’s exchange with his mother:
    Mom: Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?
    Hugo: He’s not dead.

    And yes, I believe they may be establishing that Charlotte is Faraday’s mother.

    The question is though, why “Frogurt”? I didn’t see the connection there Sawyer.

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