It’s a pretty well known problem that our insatiable desire for sex and violence creates a market for ever-increasingly sensationalized news broadcasts. You can complain about the scare tactics and low-rent scandal that makes up a large percentage of the media’s focus, but when you complain at the media you have four complaints complaining back at you. Or something like that. It’s close. The point is that we are the ones who create the market for garbage television and nightmare news, and so that’s why those things exist. We want it! Give it to us! Of course, one legitimate complaint that you CAN make about local news broadcasts is that this hunt for the lowest common denominator is just too lazy when there are plenty of embarrassing and exploitative things that you probably shouldn’t bother putting on television if you’re a good person but since you are not a good person (you being the news?) then why don’t you stretch yourself and try harder. For example, how about a teenager who is crying so hard but in a way that is very funny? You shouldn’t put that on TV because he is just a kid facing an upsetting situation and his crying doesn’t add any informational detail or clarity to the story. But it’s very funny, that’s one thing we can all agree on.

IT’S CALLED NEWS, AND NOW YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT THE WORLD AROUND YOU. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. (Via WarmingGlow.)

Comments (69)
  1. If he does belong to a gang, it must be the Whaaaaaa-tin Kings.

    • True Story: I live in Chicago and have a Los Angeles Kings sticker on my car (yeah, I’m a big enough Kings fan that I put a sticker on my car, what of it?). I had to get the one without the big crown because I was afraid my car, or myself, would be vandalized by the Latin Kings. I don’t even know if the crown is their thing, but hey, better safe than sorry. They probably aren’t as good at hockey, but probably much better at vandalism.

    • I don’t get it, FLW should have a bazillion upvotes for that. It’s incredibly punny people! We’re not above puns here!

  2. Oh man, just give the kid his sticker money.

  3. At least now I have a go-to clip if I ever want to demonstrate the expression “adding insult to injury.”

  4. It’s clearly the Van Buren boys’ work

  5. Classic Fox News, bullying a crying kid.

  6. Gang Signs was just their excuse. That’s a really ugly sticker. I’ll give you $1,000 if we can not use that sticker. Seriously, how many symbols and metaphors can you possibly fit onto a sticker?

  7. Oh my goodness

  8. Man, I ain’t wanna see this! I might be a callous son of a bitch who doesn’t know where the line of good taste lies, but even I can’t get down with laughing at a crying kid.

  9. Now I feel amused AND guilty.

  10. That kid is going to have so many new friends, after he moves to Canada and gets face surgery, and after a few years of therapy.

  11. I dunno, Herbie Pulgar sounds a lot like Whitey Bulger, let’s call him Whiney Pulgar.

  12. Ok. That was hilarious. I’m sorry. I don’t feel like I’m terrible for saying that.

    I definitely am not down with that kid being so upset. I think it is unfair that the news channel decided to show that clip, which I am going to assume was the best they could salvage from the interview. I used to enter art contests when I was a kid. I would be just as upset as he was if I had won a contest and then that honor was stripped away, and I was told that I hid sinister meanings in my artwork. FUCK. THAT. NOISE.

    But.

    That clip is goddamn golden. The set up, the camera panning across the artwork as the anchor lady gives the story, trying to figure out what the gang signs are as they slowly pan by, then, without ANY warning, a very upset child making the most peculiar, crying noises and he’s UPSET omg he’s so upset! I’m upset for this kid! Then it’s like WHY ARE THEY SHOWING THIS KID?! ARE YOU ALL MONSTERS??? WHO PUT THIS TOGETHER? Here’s Tom with sports.

    So I’m not laughing at the kid, I’m laughing at the situation. The whole thing is fucking bonkers.

  13. He’s probably also upset about his father being pursued by the FBI for dealing coke. Little Herbie is having a really tough week. I’d be crying like that, too.

    http://www.myfoxchicago.com/dpp/news/metro/herbert-pulgar-father-herbie-chicago-city-parking-sticker-design-cocaine-latin-street-gang-wanted-man-20120210

    • Whaaa? Way to bury the lede!

    • Oh crap! This kid! :( ((((((((( It’s not the sticker! It’s not the prize money! The little boy’s father isn’t there to give him any form of acceptance. He finally had someone of authority single him out and say they were proud of him, and then they turned around and betrayed him and took it away, accusing him of being a sneaky dead beat just like his dad! This just became the awfullest story I’ve ever read.

      This Little boy doesn’t need $1,000, he needs a hug. Shut the camera off and give him a hug already!

      • Yeah, the more this kid’s life is put into context, the more unfortunate this clip is. That shitty dad actually being involved with gangs really heightens why he would be so upset. Fucking shitty garbage monster parents and their collateral damage.

        • LOL? I have a friend who whenever I witness him interacting with his kids I think, “Whoa, you are terrible at this. It’s not even that hard! Just don’t call your 3-year-old ‘hey, fucktard’ so often, and maybe get some kind of job instead of devising schemes to make money on craigslist.’”

        • I feel like they showed him crying to give a sympathetic view to the kid, who may be a fake thug. He had pictures of him throwing up the fork on his FB, they were since removed as the controversy surrounding his sticker broke.
          I don’t care either way, I think the city is ridiculous and being run by morons.

      • That’s why he was so happy when he was hanging out with Rahm.

        • Oh for crying out loud! Stop! You’re just making it so much worse! I bet he already took that plaque down off the wall and smashed it against a toilet. This whole situation is going to ruin this little man and turn him into a total criminal and when he gets arrested for shooting someone in a convenience store someday all of these people are going to go “Phew, I knew it! Gang Signs! I’m so glad we took away his thing!”

          • also, the poor kid is already in a school for kids with emotional and learning disabilities, which cannot be a super fun place to be. so the fact that he’s getting dragged around like this is probably really awful and he might not be equipped to deal with it well :(

          • I am always shocked by how adults can be so incompetent at handling KIDS. I remember in 3rd grade when Mike Banners who was kind of friendless didn’t do his report on eagles, Mrs Hoffer made him stand in front of the class and berated him with10 solid minutes of yelling. “Tell the whole class why you’re so special. Tell them why THEY had to write an animal report but not YOUUUUU, oh no, not SPECIAL YOU.” He couldn’t even talk. It was so uncomfortable I wanted to shout “Leave him alone! He just didn’t do it!”

            15 years later I happened across a class photo and it was instantly obvious to my adult eye that Mike Banners (uniquely disheveled, visibly timid) did not come from an organized home. He did not have my parents, who gave me my own room and desk and a regular dinner time, and he did not have Lisa Innuzi’s parents, who wrote her fucking paper for her. How did Mrs Hoffer look at him and decide brutal humiliation was the way to go?

            Sorry. Long rant. Still ticks me off. She was horrible person and she’s probably dead now, yay. (obvs. that is a good person’s reaction.)

    • Huh. Maybe those were gang signs after all.

    • Gad-zooks!

      This image is from chicagogangs.org So maybe it is gang related and the kid did it to please his dad? Maybe he saw the symbols and incorporated them subconsciously into the pic? I HAVE NO IDEA!

      • LOL. “Some analysts” = people with internet access. That is just a good diagram with totally convincing evidence that definitely does not totally look like the product of a paranoid schizophrenic.

        I will give them credit. This is certainly more novel than the “seeing Jesus in toast” trope.

      • That is exactly the kind of “analysis” done by the people who heard subliminal Satanic messages in AC/DC and Metallica records in the 80s.

        • I’d like to agree with you, except satanism isn’t really a widespread problem with teens like gangs. I do agree that we should not be making fun of this kid, learning that he’s in special programs, but that does not mean he is not affiliated with gangs. These programs are not just for learning disabilities for also for kids with emotional problems or other type of mental issues. Going back to the gang thing, I just don’t think it’s possible to live with his father and in a gang neighborhood without knowing what those symbols mean. Like i said, I don’t know if it was subconscious, but I think there’s something to it.
          Sorry about my comment below, though.I typed it before learning about all his problems.

          • I lived in Chicago for nine years — EVERY neighborhood is a “gang neighborhood.” And, again, that awesome “analysis” makes gigantic leaps in logic that it does not back up.

            Mind you, the city didn’t pull the sticker because they actually thought there was something to this nonsense. They pulled it because politicians are rightfully averse to any type of controversy.

          • I still live here and I agree with you, every neighborhood is a gang neighborhood, but more specifically, his neighborhood is that specific gang’s neighborhood.

            I just don’t see why it would take a paranoid schizophrenic to see their unnaturally posed hands and the horned heart in the picture but a kid with clear father issues couldn’t possibly mimic the gang designs he sees everyday.

            As far as pulling the sticker, this is all one big mess. From the politics behind it, to FOX 12′s exploitative reports, to the footage becoming viral before knowing the full story behind the kid.

  14. Huge missed opportunity not identifying him as “Devastated Teen” in the on-screen graphic.

  15. “The point is that we are the ones who create the market for garbage television and nightmare news, and so that’s why those things exist. We want it! Give it to us!”

    that’s an interesting point, and one I consider more often than…well, I consider it often, anyways. It’s kinda like a chicken and the egg scenario, and one I’m not sure I can confidently align myself with, in either direction. More specifically, which DOES come first? I’m sure that there is a demographic who, because of their affinity for more base-level entertainment, look for this kind of coverage and view it as acceptable and satisfying. Sure, those people exist. BUT, I think that an even broader and more important argument could be made for the determined, or determined as I see it, effort to create these types of viewers who seek out this type of coverage? I won’t go into whether it’s some sort of grand conspiracy to dumb down the entire population (though maybe I just kinda did?), but there is little question that various societal factors contribute to the creation of this kind of coverage and to the creation of these kinds of viewers; from serious core issues like budget cuts in school, to more peripheral concerns like the 24 hour marketing of flaky, ignorant lifestyles as being the type of life we should pursue, where we don’t concern ourselves with serious issues but rather with daily fodder like this? Maybe? Maybe not? I don’t know, I wrote this all out stream of consciousness, BUT despite the (in)accuracy of this post, I don’t think it’s as simple as saying “we are the ones who create the market for garbage television and nightmare news”, and I’m sure a well thought out post could flesh this idea out better than me.

    Oh, and, ya..hahaha. dude was like, sobbing on TV and stuff. His boyz must be giving him the gears over this.

    • You said a lot of things that I’m sure are very upvote worthy, but I’m going to give you an upvote simply for having Spencer Krug in your Facebook Connect Avatar.

      • (spoiler alert) Had I cured cancer in my comment, an upvote for Spence is still preferable. Love that man, and can’t wait for “Heartbreaking Bravery”

  16. Clearly a gang member.

  17. Sorry to spoil the fun, but that kid has pretty serious developmental problems, apparently. :( ((((((((

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    • Your sister sounds like a classy broad. You should emulate her more often.

    • What if I didn’t work hard for my millionaire status? Can I still join if I just have rich parents? What if I’m poor but wear a lot of ascots and hang out near marinas? Asking for a friend. (Call me on the telephone, Kelly Sarah.)

    • You laugh, but I just gave this a shot and scored a date with Zooey Deschanel. So, it looks like I’m going to quit my job and marry a hot millionaire actress!

      Oh. Nevermind, I was just informed that since I scored this date on company time, the relationship is owned by the company I work for, Whole Foods Market. So, they are going to keep the relationship and I’m probably going to get fired.

  19. I’m not even going to check the comments cause I can’t stomach a “this is so funny” post so forgive me if this has been said already but the kid is DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED! And genuinely upset that something he worked hard on is being dropped because of perceived connections to gangs. Even though Warming Glue didn’t mention that in their article about the video they at least called out the news channel that showed it for making a spectacle of the kid. This isn’t funny, this is just sad.

  20. Why is a Portland-based Fox affiliate dragging this kid through the mud?

  21. This is the best episode of Glee I’ve seen in a while.

  22. In his critic’s defense. He does sound like a bit like a cholo.

  23. For what it’s worth, a local news show interviewed the kid’s art teacher and showed the picture that he traced those hands out of.

    Around 2:35 here…
    http://www.wgntv.com/news/wgntv-wgn-exclusive-teen-who-designed-scrapped-chicago-city-sticker-speaks-out-20120208,0,4569067.story

    Kinda hurts the whole gang related angle. Unless of course GDs have started youth recruitment efforts by creating fake teacher’s manuals. Intricate organizations indeed!

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