They’re back! All our old pals. Oof. You know how on Friday afternoon you are so excited for the weekend and the world feels bright and full of promise and who even knows how much fun and relaxation you’re about to have and then all of a sudden it’s already Monday morning and you’re like the fuck? That’s it? That is how the most recent Walking Dead hiatus felt. Christmas and New Year’s and the Super Bowl and the Grammys and the Golden Globes and my friend’s birthday and that quote from Mark Wahlberg weren’t enough. “I NEED MORE TIME!” Have you ever seen Ingmar Bergman’s The Seventh Seal when the knight plays chess with death? Well here’s a fun fact: whoever lost that game had to start watching The Walking Dead again. ANYWAY, we pick up right where we left off. There’s still smoke pouring out the barrel of Grimes’s gun after he shot Sophia right in the zombie kisser. Everyone is wailing and crying. One of the Farm Girls runs over to the bodies and is like “mama!” and it’s like “grow up!” She starts turning over the double-reverse-dead-undead bodies and then her zombie mom reaches up and grabs her head and is like NOM NOM NOM. The thing is, what is even going on here? I would not go rooting around through a pile of corpses even if they WEREN’T smelly rotten zombie corpses. At least put some rubber gloves on if you want to “mourn.” It takes the whole gang of superfriends to pry the zombie off of her. T-Boz tries to Ryan Gosling in Drive elevator stomp the zombie to death, but for some reason that doesn’t work so weird you’d think that would work, huh, but then Andrea kills it with a scythe to the back of the head. Good thing there was a scythe lying around!

“What’s a common thing you find laying around any farm besides a cow? A big old scythe.” – Walking Dead Writers Room

The actress who played Andrea probably did six months of “scythe work” with a professional scythe trainer to make it look so natural. “It’s all in the hips.” So. Everyone’s pissed. Herschel’s pissed. Shane is pissed. Grimes is pissed. Dale is pissed. Maggie is pissed. Herschel tells everyone to get off their land and Shane yells at him about whatever Shane is always yelling about and Maggie slaps Shane. It’s very tense. But Glen is ready to do whatever it takes to protect his lady love.

Haha, Glen. “If you want to get to her you’ll have to go through me but as soon as you’re done going through me I beg you not to hurt her.” Shane and Rick have their umpteenth argument about who is doing a better job at trying to protect everyone. At a certain point, maybe in 100 seasons, I think at least one of them will realize that they live in a Zombie Filled Post-Apocalyptic Nightmare and that even in the regular non-zombie world of the past it was impossible to keep everyone safe. You can’t even reliably go to the same brunch place forever. Eventually it will close or you will move. Nothing is forever. So let’s just get through this as best we can. Oh. No? More yelling? Perfect. In the farmhouse, Glen asks Maggie if they knew that Sophia was in the barn. GOOD GRIEF, WHO CARES?! I have no idea how characters struggling to survive in a waking nightmare could possibly care about that, but as a viewer I definitely don’t. Does them knowing she was in the barn make her not be a zombie that Grimes just shot in the face? How about a question like “did you know that Sophia was HOW MUCH LONGER UNTIL WE’RE ALL DEAD AND/OR RENDERED INSANE BY THE NATURE OF OUR SITUATION?” That seems like a more important question. “At least now we know and we can all move on,” Glen says. “We’ve lost people before, but this was Sophia.” ARGHHHHHHH. Hey, remember 8 interminable episodes ago when NO ONE EVEN KNEW WHO SOPHIA WAS? And now apparently she was the King of the Survivors? Fuck Sophia. I’m glad she’s dead. They shouldn’t have wasted the grave on her stupid baby zombie body. Throw her on the pile and burn that shit like the rest of the garbage. Sophia. PTOOEY. I spit on Sophia.

Carl says that he thought he was going to be the one to find Sophia. Why? Why would you think that? You’re literally the least capable person on the entire farm. You’re even less capable than Glen. “I figured she would be in a tree or a cave somewhere and I would find her.” HAHHA. What are you even talking about, Carl? She would be in a tree or a cave somewhere. You’re an idiot. Then he says that Grimes was right to shoot her (agreed) and that he would have done the same thing (what?). Lori tells Carl that she wants him to go inside and get some rest and Carl just says OK and goes inside. That’s easily the least believable thing that has ever happened on this entire show. I’m ready to believe that the world is for real overrun with flesh-eating zombies before I would believe that a child would happily just go inside and “rest” in the middle of the day without putting up any kind of a fight. Somebody call shenanigans.

It is agreed that they will dig graves for Sophia and the two dead barn family members, and the rest of the zombies will be thrown on a pile and burned. Shane goes to get the truck and has a fight with Dale. Later, Dale will tell Lori that he thinks Shane shot Otis and left him as bait so that he could escape, which is crazy because that’s EXACTLY what Shane did but even Dale is like “I have no evidence that this is what happened, but the writers have decided it’s time to sow the seeds of suspicion into our group.” He also says “I’ve known people like this before. It’s only a matter of time before he kills someone else.” Wait, Dale, what? You’ve known SOCIOPATHIC MASS MURDERERS BEFORE?! Haha. Blah. Dig dig dig. Graves graves graves. I have actually read accounts of how long it takes to dig a proper grave without any mechanical tools (don’t worry about it, I love to read) and it’s something ridiculous like 18 hours, but these guys get three big ol’ graves dug right quick. Good job, guys. Now throw yourselves in!

There is a funeral, I guess. They don’t really show much of it. Just a shot of everyone standing over the graves. They need that extra screen time to show an arm fall out of the truck, and then the truck to keep driving for a few feet, and then Andrea to call out to stop the truck, and then Andrea to hop off the truck and go get the arm, and then run back to the truck, and put the arm in the truck, and climb back up on the truck, and then say that they’re ready to go again, and then for the truck to drive some more. Important things like that. Valuable plot devices that move the narrative forward.

Meanwhile, Sophia’s mom is out in the woods, tearing up flowers like a teenage girl who just got dumped right before homecoming. Take it easy, Sophia’s mom. Although I do approve of you finding somewhere private to have your completely pathetic tantrum. Later, Shane will wash her hands in a really slow and methodical and bizarre way, which I think is supposed to show that he does still have some human compassion at his core, but really is just creepy and weird because who has ever done that to a pair of hands with a little bit of mud on them? Speaking of washing hands, let’s wash our hands of this plot thread. (KABOOM!)

The girl who was crying about her zombie mom collapses in the kitchen but Herschel is nowhere to be found. Where’s Herschel? Guys, we need Herschel! Just kidding. I mean, sure, but she just fainted? To be on the safe side, Dr. Gabe would recommend throwing her in the fire pit with the rest of the zombies. You can never be too sure. (At one point, they show all of the women surrounding the woman in bed and caring for her with washclothes and soft murmurs but no one is saying anything? So apparently this is the Marcy May Margaret Maggie Morrissey farm or whatever.) Shane finds a flask in the bedroom and that is how they all know that Herschel is definitely at the bar in town. Haha. That was a surprisingly easy mystery to solve! They spent an entire season looking for Sophia in the woods, but they solved The Mystery of Herschel in two seconds flat. Grimes says he’s going to go into town and this sets off another classic Lori-Grimes-Shane three-way fuck-fight. Grimes takes the position that they need Herschel so that they can stay on the farm and have the baby. Everyone else’s position is you don’t need to constantly run off into dangerous situations at the drop of your comical cowboy hat. This time (and probably every time) I’m on Team Not Grimes. It has been SEVEN MINUTES since Herschel disappeared. Give it a second? Like, give it one fucking second? You may need Herschel to change his mind about kicking everyone off the farm, but Herschel himself isn’t even AT THE FARM at the moment, so why don’t you make like Carl and REST. Grimes takes Glen with him because Glen knows where the bar is. Haha. There are four buildings in town. Mission Impossible.

On that exact same note, Lori decides that within seconds, SECONDS of Grimes and Glen leaving that she needs them to bring Herschel back as if that wasn’t the whole point of them going to find Herschel in the first place, but so now she decides to go after them after she just yelled at Grimes not to always be going after people? WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON HERE? Let’s have one person on this show be mildly consistent in their actions and motivations. (Admittedly, Lori does try to get Daryl to go after them first, but Daryl refuses because even Daryl knows that THIS IS LORI’S DUMBEST IDEA YET. Also that stick ain’t gonna sharpen itself!) Lori gets in a car, pulls out of the driveway, and IMMEDIATELY flips the car over into a ditch. AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.

R.I.P. Lori. Taken too soon just kidding right on time.

At the bar, Grimes and Herschel have a fight. This show should just be called The Walking Fight. I have never seen a group of people this prone to yelling at each other about every little thing, and that includes the UFC and my parents’ divorce. Herschel is being a crybaby because he realizes now that the zombies weren’t sick. UH YEAH, HI, OK GOOD. But also get over it. We all make mistakes and yes, your mistake was one of the Top 10 Dumbest Mistakes, but also remember how you are still living in Zombie Town? Dry those tears on your suspenders and let’s get back to the business of living. It’s almost as if Matthew McCounaughey’s powerful message of hope has been lost to the ages. In the end, Grimes and Herschel agree that they are both terrified little boys lost in Helpless Woods. Kiss! Kiss! Then the door opens and in walk two new friends!

At first it’s all whiskey and back pats, but then the guys are kind of creepy (gold chains over t-shirts = creepy) and a little too persistent with their questions about where everyone is living and the fat one asks if there’s any cooze on the farm, which, man oh man, if there is one thing you would hope WOULD go forever extinct after the epidemic of the Rage Virus sweeps the globe it is use of the word “cooze.” The fat one also pees on the floor right in front of everyone. Is that a thing? Like, are there a lot of people who just dream of society collapsing around our ears so that they can FINALLY take a piss in front of a group of complete strangers inside a building? Fingers crossed?

Eventually it gets very tense indeed with guns being placed on countertops and shouts of “don’t you ever tell me to calm down ever” and we also learn that in certain parts of the country “walkers” are called “lame brains” which is very dumb!

Finally Grimes plays the ultimate round of barroom Big Buck Hunter and kills both of the dudes. Aww! Defrienstered. It’s kind of a good scene, compared to most of the scenes on the show, but you want to know why? Because it’s basically a scene from Justified but without any of the fun. Ugh, how bad do you guys wish this show would just drop all the zombie stuff and be more like Justified and by “be more like” I mean be called Justified and just be additional new episodes of Justified starring Timothy Olyphant and Walton Goggins? JUSTIFIED!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, as T-Boz and Shane go to light the zombie pile on fire, T-Boz asks “how many more times are we going to have to do this?” Haha. Right. T-Boz has had it iwth these monkey-fightin’ zombie piles on this Monday-to-Friday zombie apocalypse! They light the zombies on fire. Is this a moment? It feels like it’s supposed to be a moment but I’m not sure. It is just a pile of old zombies after all. You going to make me stare at a tire fire next? It’s like watching paint dry on a pile of zombies on fire.

Yup. That’s a pile of dead zombies on fire.

I didn’t watch the trailer for the upcoming season of episodes, so it’s all very exciting I’m sure, but let me make an educated guess: the two men that Grimes killed in the bar didn’t have any friends and there are no repercussions for what Grimes did and Shane decides to calm down and the farm has a bumper crop this year and Lori climbs out of the car miraculously unscathed and names her new baby John Connor. The End?

Comments (65)
  1. Booooo!

  2. My takeaway from all this is that Bing is for doing.

  3. Did I MAYBE log onto this website immediately after the episode last night to read what you had to say, and in fact that is the only reason I watch this awful show, so that I might hate it and bask in other’s hatred as well? Maybe.

    Also, is it wrong that I most closely identify with Shane and Daryl regarding how I think zombie apocalypses should handled? Am I a sociopath and/or redneck?

    • You are a correct person. There is nobody on the show I could possibly agree more with than Shane on a regular basis, and for some reason they are still painting him as a villain. And Dale is just a turd of a character, but in the comic he’s kind of the voice of wisdom and reason. Everything is very weird and backwards about “what should be done in post-apocalypse times” where the good guys are like ‘hang out and be friends?’ and the villains are like ‘Uhh, kill zombies and generally focus on survival.’

  4. Oh gosh, that zombie arm falling off. I was half expecting it to come alive. Stupid show making me think stupid things.

    • I was thinking the same thing, but mostly because I thought “if that arm doesn’t do anything, or if there aren’t any surprise alive zombies in the bed of the truck, then that was arguably the most worthless 30 seconds of television I’ve ever witnessed, and that can’t possibly be the case”. Then I remembered I was watching the TWD and it all made sense, which is to say it didn’t make any sense.

      • It bugged me because of the characters(writers) straight up stupidness. Why did she have to sit on the tail-gate and not on the trucks front seat where there was room? To make sure that if anything fell out the back she would see it? If she just sat in the front she would not have to smell the zombies and the tailgate could’ve been left up so nothing would’ve fallen out. But, then again, Andrea is a stupid idiot.

  5. i think this show tries too hard to make shane evil. like, there’s a justifiable reason for him to “sacrifice” otis, other than that he’s suddenly a bloody-thirsty killer, but the writers are just like “we’ll just make it obvious that he instantly turned evil and dale will think that so the audience will know it’s true.” i just think it’s more interesting if he’s, you know, 3D and complex and maybe he did kill otis because he thought it’s what he had to do to save Carl.

    • Yeah, why is Shane the bad guy for that. If Otis was slow, and let’s face it…he was a fat guy and he was moving super slow…then Shane wouldn’t have brought back the medicine and saved Carl. Sorry Otis! Ya shoulda been faster.

  6. also i always think robert kirkman comes off as such a douche in interviews and on “talking dead”

    • Agreed. I read both Walking Dead and Invincible, and enjoy both comics immensely. Unlike the show, Walking Dead and Invincible both have really fun cliffhangers at the end of each issue, which is par for course of a serialized periodical-style story.

      But Kirkman’s fairly consistent interview demeanor– whether on panel at a comic convention, interviewed on a podcast, or on his own talk show– has soured me a little bit on him (not that there are plenty of artists whose work I enjoy but would never want to have a conversation with them).

      That and now Tony Moore (co-creator of WD) is suing Kirkman over not properly providing Moore with records of WD gains so Moore can properly keep track of his shares of WD profits (as Moore claims is stipulated in their contract). It all might turn pretty sour very soon.

      I hope it doesn’t affect the books, but only time will tell.

      • That is why the best advice ever is to never give a shit about the people that make the things you like. Because they will disappoint you.

        I make the same point every time someone brings up Polanski, because I love love love everything that man makes, and sure he should be in jail or maybe not, I don’t know and I don’t care really that much at all, but whatever you think of what he does on his own time (horrible things) it does not affect his art. The final product – the thing that is made – exists in a world separate the artist. Sure there may be some relevant context to the art based on what era/country/state the artist lives/lived in. Has absolutely nothing to do with the ideas.

        Same goes for Philosophy/Science…if an idea works, it works. It makes no difference if the person who wrote it practiced what they preached. We only get one life. If a good idea comes along, for the love of god, go with it and don’t think twice about how most of the ancient greeks diddled young boys, or how a lot of your favourite philosophers were high OUT OF THEIR MINDS.

        • yeah, you’re right…but still, there’s something about how kirkman talks about the show (and book) that just makes me think he doesn’t really know what he’s doing and still thinks he’s a super innovator. and I don’t want it to change how i think about the show, but still, the doucheyness sneaks in.

          • I know I know, ignore it entirely. I read the comic, and I avoid at all costs the Q&A at the end, and any instance of Kirkman talking about what he’s trying to do yada yada.

            Here’s another good example of why it is the worst idea to hear from the creators: LOST. If they had shut their dumb faces, I would never have wasted any time on that stupid show. It was clearly dumb, and as soon as they revealed that there was a hatch and you could GO INSIDE IT (duh) I gave up. BO-RING.

            But then I heard about all these promises of how they had a direction and planned it all out, and I thought that maybe there was some truth to it because of all the intricate connections and back story, and after a few plugs from friends to “you should really try watching LOST again” I did, and then watched until the end, and then realized that I was right all along and I was an idiot for wasting so much time on something so stupid.

          • Do you watch “Talking Dead” after the show? When Kirkman’s on the show, he acts so distant from the show, like he has no hand in it at all, though he’s the executive producer. I appreciated him more when I only knew him as the guy behind the books. By the way, does anyone know when volume 16 is coming out?

          • yeah, on Talking Dead he does this thing where he’s constantly telling us “you have to wait and see!” like we think it’s cute or something. If you’re not gonna say anything interesting, don’t go on the stupid show.

  7. Wouldn’t it be awesome if Norman Reedus was on Justified instead?

  8. I lost cable recently and have mostly been bummed about it, but when my bf asked me what channel Walking Dead was on last night so we could watch the premiere and I could answer “We don’t have cable anymore,” it was the first time I’ve actually been pretty happy about the whole situation.

    But then we watched Limitless on Netflix, so lose/lose probably.

    • i also watched Limitless on netflix on a whim a few weeks ago, and boy oh boy was that movie awful. i had fun with it for the first third or so and then it dissolved into (more) nonsense and i wish i had watched something else.

  9. Has anyone read this?

    http://www.vulture.com/2012/02/walking-dead-glen-mazzara-interivew-frank-darabont.html

    Last night’s episode was the first of the 100% Glen Mazzara episodes (no left over Darabont-era plotlines). In the link above Mazzara has some interesting things to say about running a show. I think the fact that his career has included Nash Bridges and Hawthorne speaks volumes, however.

    • Oh, boy, this quote: “The inspiration [for the saloon scene] was, let’s say, the opening scene of Inglourious Basterds, where you’re just sitting on the edge of your chair, completely engrossed in a conversation but on edge.”

      To see the gap between what the writers are going for and what they end up with shows you just how inept and artless the writing really is. They seem to have no idea that structure makes any difference to how an individual scene resonates.

    • Does the new set of writers know that there is a good source material of comics books to go off of? Or when they were hired, did AMC just say, “Zombies: Go with it.”

    • I like this quote:

      So you agree with the critics who complained that the show was moving too slowly.
      Without a doubt. Knowing the behind-the-scenes work, I’m happy about that criticism. What has been surprising about it, though, is that we’re on a network that has Mad Men, Breaking Bad, The Killing — these are pretty slow, so I am surprised that we’re getting branded as the slow show, especially since we do have zombies in every episode.

      I know he worked on The Shield, and I friggin’ loved all 7 seasons of that show, but I think that was because of Shaun Ryan, whose other shows I have also enjoyed (Terriers, Chicago Code).

      I want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, but when he calls out Breaking Bad for being slow like he has blinders on to storytelling techniques like CREATING TENSION and KEEPING THE AUDIENCE GUESSING, it’s just, UGH. Come on, guy. Zombies are slow as shit, and so is Walking Dead, and only the former is acceptable.

      • agreed. the difference is Breaking Bad and Mad Men never feel slow to me. (can’t speak for The Killing)
        I get why people say Mad Men is slow but every scene I’m practically holding my breath.

  10. “The end?” Keep dreaming, Gabe. Keep dreaming.

    On a positive note, the trailer for Abe Lincoln: Vampire Hunter came out today and it looks pretty great! It’s directed by the guy who did Nightwatch and Daywatch (he also did Wanted, but I’m gonna try to block that out of my mind).

  11. This show is like the last season of Lost. It makes no sense and characters lack basic scene to scene consistency but I’m stuck watching it. Team Gabe Recaps though.

  12. Renee from True Blood shows up, at the bar, which is way better stocked than the pharmacy was, comparatively, apparently.

    I’m trying to say that if it was a zombie apocalypse I would be in that bar. Margaritas til the world ENDS.

    • If you were a savvy bar-owner, I bet a really big seller would be something like, and I’m just spit balling here…zombie zobrowka shots…dead eyed disaronno and coke…apple martini and zombie brains. Anyways, when people are scared, depressed or stressed, they like to drink. No duh. But they REALLY like to drink when they can relate to, and even laugh a little, at the names of the drinks they order.

  13. I go camping every year for a weekend and I have friends who think it is their “big chance” to not use a restroom. To pee, they will walk literally 15 feet from the campfire we are all sitting around with our food. They will pee next to the water jug, or on the tree that is where we have left the dish bucket, or right by someone’s tent. When I say, “Dude. Could you actually walk 3 minutes to the restroom instead of doing that where we eat and sleep?” they flip out like I am being a major prima donna, or their mom, or some kind of huge A-hole. Even though I said “dude” to sound just like one of them. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but if camping is any indication, I would definitely shoot them to make the apocalypse nicer.

    • Campinggum!

      This isn’t just your friends. There is something about being in nature that seems to turn some otherwise normal-seeming people into mushheads who suddenly perceive any minor attempt at civilization as a totally crushing their individual freedoms.

      It also makes them think their alcohol tolerance suddenly tripled and they should definitely drink that entire fifth of Maker’s Mark before 10pm. “But it feels so much later maaaan”

      The zombie apocalypse will be better without them.

      • Ha — one of my favorite things is when the first of them runs out of steam and says, “Man, what a day, I’m ready for the sack. What time is it?” And it turns out to be 9:45. Then whoever it is looks all deflated, because he imagined it was so much later, like, who knows, forever o’clock I guess.

        He will then force himself to stay up, barely speaking, staring at the fire until it must be 10:00, because at least that’s double digits.

  14. the line that stood out to me as being the most baseless, contrived piece of garbage-nonsense was when Rick told Glen it was pretty obvious to everyone that Maggie loves him. like.. no? no it’s not. she’s been outwardly hostile to him and they kept their ‘relationship’ a secret half the time, so no Rick, i really doubt everyone thinks Maggie loves Glen. you can’t just SAY things.

    • You’re so right haha, the only times I can remember them being affectionate is when no one else is around. Most of the time she’s just acting bitchy towards him. Ahh, the signs of young love!

      • Remember that time she busted an egg on his head? I’m all like “whoa, writers, save that for the Valentine’s day episode!” It’s almost like they make her feelings TOO obvious. #noyolklikelove

  15. When that zombie grabbed her normal daughter and overpowered her it drove me nuts. Because this happens all the time in the show! Malnourished zombies with no working vascular system, decomposing muscles, that probably haven’t been eating in weeks always overpower living people with intact bodies. Sure if there’s a bunch of zombies they can take out people, but one on one? Come on!

    • I also like the idea that the zombie moved at all. I mean, we’ve seen ample evidence of how, save for a major head wound (gunshot, scythe, etc), zombies just keep ooooon coming. Remember when Shane proved a point by repeatedly shooting that one zombie in the chest to show that they’re “dead”, and how it just kept on coming? What happened here? Was the wind knocked out of it? Did it “pass out” from the pain, only to float back to (zombie) consciousness just in time to attack its daughter? Or was it being coy and subtle, playing dead and waiting for the perfect opportunity to pounce? Or was it a cheap scare tactic illogically inserted into the scene to get somebody, somewhere, to MAYBE flinch a little. I won’t tell you which one I think it is (hint: it’s the one with no ‘?’).

  16. Fuck you, Carl!
    If that kid is so stupid and boring that he justs rests in the middle of the day, like those stupid kids that the NFL has to convince to play for an hour, then Herschel Horse Doctor should just put that foal down. Like, really – you won’t PLAY – for AN HOUR – unless some NFL players come do it with you? And you’re just gonna go REST in the middle of the day, after a super exciting Zombie Killing? Also your name is Carl.

      • “Darl”

        • Am I responsible for “Darl”? In a comment I made awhile ago I made a typo, and someone pointed it out and said we should just call him that. Not sure if someone else had written it before me haha, but whatever the case, I vote on just calling him that from now on

          • That was me who pointed it out, and I guess that was you who made the typo…I think it is just such a fitting name for him. I vote for the name change too; we now have 2 votes.

    • If I were Carl’s mom (there, but for the grace of god…) I would keep him away from dad, because we don’t need dad’s insufferable god/martyr complex rubbing off on junior. Two characters on the show who spout off about their ideas that the right thing to do is their idea would make me say Screw this! and head back to the heart of Atlanta to throw myself a sea of zombies. Urf.

  17. Just a few annoying things:

    1. Girl faints after minor zombie attack, then starts to get a fever. She’s not in shock you dumbasses, she’s probably infected with the zombie virus. I doubt Herschel has a cure for that.

    2. Everyone just stay the fuck at the farm!! Herschel left? Problem solved, you guys don’t have to leave! Maybe you can even sleep in the house now!

    And don’t even start me on Lori….seriously bitch?! You’re going to chase after your perfectly capable husband 10 minutes after he left for a fairly simple task? Of course you are, because you need to make more trouble and flip your effing car. EYES ON THE ROAD LORI!!

    3. Lets make a zombie campfire 10 feet away from the barn, and not much farther from the house too! The smell of rotting, burning flesh will really add a nice aroma to the house. Also, the fire will draw attention from any zombie who might need a snack.

    • Oh and also…sorry AMC, good try, but I’m not watching your new show just to see next week’s WD clips. I’d rather look for it online….also, Angry Boys is on.

    • Let’s use precious gas to start the fire, and create no barrier between the fire and the highly flammable grass which leads to the highly flammable barn and the house.

    • Regarding point #3: I think you forgot the magical force field that surrounds Herschel’s farm and somehow only allows 2 zombies to be within its confines at any given time.

      That’s the most ludicrous thing about the whole farm scenario. Rick’s people are SLEEPING OUTSIDE IN TENTS. Why are they not in the house? (Oh yeah, zombie force field…I forgot.) But seriously, how capable are their watch people? I wouldn’t trust any of them. Dale? Fuck no. Andrea? She’d think you were a zombie and snipe the shit out of you when you come back to camp from taking a dump. Darryl? Maybe when he’s not being a little bitch. Shane’s probably the only one I would give any credit on that front, but he’d probably be off boning some chick at night anyway.

      God, I hate this show.

  18. I’m really good at suspending my beliefs in general, but I do have two minor annoyances with this show. They have guns, gas, and vehicles – namely pick up trucks; so when they risk going to town, why not empty the effing stores and especially bars of all the stuff and just have a party farm? Also, why hasn’t anyone gone looking for a guns and ammo store? It’s the South, right? They should be as common as liquor stores.
    I need to confess that I tape The Talking Dead and last night I had a brief crush on guest Dave Navarro for telling the producer to his face that last season sucked donkey b*lls and the show had better pick up the pace.

  19. so i was like, could this get any MORE boring? and then they brought up Nebraska. #HAHAHAHA #LAZYFLYOVERSTATEJOKES

  20. 1 So, hmmm, a modern farm has no MACHINERY THAT CAN DIG HOLES. Wait, hmmmm LOOK THERE’S A F*CKING TRACTOR 30 FEET AWAY FROM WHERE YOU’RE DIGGING

    2 So, hmm, they just dug 3 graves and the ground around the holes is METICULOUS AND GRASSY. (look at the photo again.) Never in the history of hole digging has diigin been done so surgically.

    3. Hey everyone when you’re digging the hole, make sure you throw the dirt into ONE PILE, OKAY. We need it in one pile even if you’re the poor sucker digging that far away grave. It’s going to start hurting real bad the more dirt your throw so far away, but it is crucial that we have ALL THE DIRT IN ONE PILE.

    4 Hey everyone just to make the digging even easier, let’s put the corpses right beside where you’re digging just so you remember what has to go into the holes. Great.

    5 Hey let’s bury our people on Herschel’s land without asking his permission.

  21. Hey Glen STOP LOOKING INTO THE CAMERA OKAY

  22. DOH

    [IMG]http://i851.photobucket.com/albums/ab74/iankiar/photo.jpg[/IMG]

  23. The only moment of enjoyment I got from this episode was when Daryl called Lori Olive Oil. Then I was sad that he didn’t stab her with the stick he was sharpening.

  24. Next week’s episode: Carl wakes up from his nap and goes off to find Lori. Then Andrea goes after Carl because she told Lori she’d watch him. Then Shane leaves to find Andrea because he’s horny. And so on and so on….

  25. MASSIVE REALIZATION: the title “The Walking Dead” doesn’t refer to the zombies but to the characters that we know and “love.”

    Holy shit.

  26. Did anybody see this Sunday’s “Talking Dead?” Dave Navarro–yes, Dave Navarro–tore Glen Mazzara a new one about the pace of the plot and the lack of zombie kills, because in a world filled with 7 billion p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ zombies, Grimes and the gang encounter so few. And Mazzara had to sit there and take it because it was all live.

    “They spent an entire season looking for Sophia in the woods, but they solved The Mystery of Herschel in two seconds flat.” *snort*

  27. Team Shane..

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