Hey, want to guess how Rick Santorum responded to the news that the Pentagon is easing some gender restrictions for women in combat, opening up nearly 14,000 of the 250,000 positions they’re currently unable to obtain or advance to? Oh and also wanna guess how he feels about opening up any more of those positions? Great! I’ll wait.

BOOM! Didja guess he was going to be a crazy ignorant garbage monster about it? Did you also guess that he clarified this statement by saying he meant “men’s emotional issues, not women,” meaning that he’s worried that men will protect the women rather than fight the bad guys? That they, “may be more concerned with protecting someone who may be in a vulnerable position, a woman in a vulnerable position.” CAN YOU EVEN BELIEVE IT? At this point, cataloging all of the ridiculous hateful nonsense that has come out of Rick Santorum’s mouth seems even a little unnecessary. I mean, of course it isn’t, because he is still a monster running for President of the United States of America, and maybe we should be cataloging it more, actually?, but I mean HOLY COW is this guy is just a straight-up dumb asshole! Case EXTRA closed! What I’m curious about, though, is how he’d feel about gay women in combat? Do the two negatives cancel each other out? What do you think, Rick? You gross jerk? Helloooooo? (Via TheDailyWhat.)

Comments (58)
  1. Cut him a break. He can’t help it that every time he opens his mouth, Santorum comes out.

  2. He didn’t even get to the issue of women menstruating all over the frontline

  3. “I don’t want to brag or anything, but I have a ‘Rick Santorum saying horrifying things’ Google Alert” – Gabe

  4. Did this politician ever serve? Did he fight in combat?

  5. #therock4presidenteventually

  6. Rick Santorum: Keeping the advanced alien species from wanting to contact us since 1958

    • If gay marriage is legalized soon we’ll all be marrying advanced alien species
      -Santorum

    • Actually, fuck subtlety. Rick Santorum is one of the worst human beings there is and he is holding the rest of us back with his immoral, degrading, fucking despicable ideals, and I just want him to go away. I don’t want to see him any more. How can I not be a cynic when guys like this are running for the most powerful political position in the world and fucking GETTING SUPPORT.

  7. The fat guy to his left is terrifying. At 0:41, when he turns to look at the camera, I got chills.

  8. I don’t think Rick Santorum’s ever considered the existence of gay women. As far as he’s concerned, gays are the horrifying men who stare at him* anytime he’s in a locker room or public washroom.

    *No one has ever stared at Rick Santorum. Except in disbelief.

  9. Disappointing that he didn’t bring nagging, nose powdering, breaking a nail, etc. Honestly what I was expecting to hear.

  10. WOULD BE CONTENT IF WOMEN JUST MADE EYE CONTACT.

  11. I’m disappointed in our country that a person like this can even make it so far in a serious election. I used to find his idiocy laughable, now I find it terrifying that PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY VOTING FOR HIM.

    • George W Bush enjoyed two terms in office, friend.

      • The difference with Bush was that he was just an utter moron. He certainly held some pretty bogus beliefs about the world, but for the most part he was just dangerously stupid. Santorum is just aggressively evil, and it’s terrifying that there is a sizable portion of the population who endorses this bullshit.

        • you’re splitting hairs there, guy

          • Yep, I agree with Winwood on this one. If people vote for the moron, it can’t be because there are that many stupid people. It’s because they’re buying into his moronic certainty in uncertain times. “Maybe he’s right and I’m wrong,” they think, “I mean, he must know what’s going on because he’s been the fucking president for four years, he must have SOME kind of handle on the situation, and he POPS, you know? On camera, he just POPS! That can’t be faked.”

            People want to fool themselves into a false certainty when they’re scared or traumatized which is understandable on a personal scale (like if you’ve just been mugged) but when a nation’s majority (or enough of a majority to vote someone into office) blinds themselves to the shit that’s going on in other countries so that they can feel “secure,” that’s something else. We as a species are smarter and better than that. That level of ignorance is a sort of self-hypnosis and it’s evil. Even if you feel that your vote is insignificant in the vast sea of things, it does create ripples and echoes and consequences, so don’t think you’re not doing evil just because the action you took was miniscule and your insecurity is understandable.

            Maybe I don’t agree with Steve Winwood. He didn’t say much and I said more than not much, so I’m not implying that Steve Winwood agrees with me. But I do agree that catweazle was splitting hairs. Evil doesn’t have to be big to be evil.

          • Eh, I’m not going to argue with you I guess. Just personally, I’m more concerned about somebody who is evil on purpose than somebody who was a bumbling idiot.

          • Apparently you haven’t seen Hitler’s autobiographical documentary, “My Big Jews Whoopsie.”

            No-one thinks they’re evil when they’re being propelled forward by history. But it should be our job, as those who are not being propelled forward by history, to examine things from a more expansive perspective. We, the people, should’ve been Hitler’s reality check. But we weren’t.

            It’s all about marketing too. George W. Bush was the “aw shucks” kinda face that a movement wanted to build itself around. We should be able to see through that. If we have that ability and we choose not to use it, we are doing evil.

            That was sorta my point. I could go on but I don’t want to write an essay.

            I wasn’t trying to start an argument but there’s something to be said for someone who is AGGRESSIVELY the stupid thing they hold dear as opposed to the vacuum that held office for eight years. I’m enjoying this election so much because the Republicans are trying so hard but they’re gonna LOSE! My God, are they gonna lose. But the one after that they’ll probably win and if they don’t win that, it’ll be the one after because you Americans still believe in the American Dream, despite reality’s evidence to the contrary. I have a pen I can sell you that’s more worthy of your belief. It is a very good pen, hardly used.

            It’s so goddamn FRUSTRATING to watch you flop around like a dying, indecisive fish when the future of the WORLD, pretty much, at this point in time, depends on you guys making educated decisions. The first hint that your nation had something resembling a historical conscience was the election of Barack Obama. But it seems like it’s too little too late or something. He disappointed you because he wasn’t a MAGICAL black man.

            I’m already in a pretty deep funk due to things going on in my personal life so even though I could continue to rant on this subject without end, I’m gonna stop here and maybe pop some vitamins and eat something healthy because I am bumming myself out. Good night, America.

          • To be fair, while Bush was an idiot, Cheney was clearly evil incarnate. So Bush was just the palatable (and maleable) face for to the more “ambitious” people who probably couldn’t get elected themselves.

    • You’re assuming that the election for the U.S. President is “serious.” I have always assumed that too, but I’m becoming less and less certain…

  12. Apparently when they started using airplanes to drop bombs as a war technique, they thought all of the women would immediately faint. So immediately, half of the population would be out of commission and the men would all have to run around picking them back up. Not entirely relevant, I just think it’s a neat fact. “Neat fact, guys.” – Fatima.

  13. “If I am elected president, no longer will women defy God’s way by wearing pants.”

  14. No. I think I’ll just play this one serious. I think you are making too big a deal out of his comments. The point he is making is that it isn’t simply an issue of whether or not a female could do the job equally as well as a man, because that’s silly, of course they can. He’s saying that it’s a more complicated issue than that and every aspect needs to be considered first. We can’t just make major changes like this without considering all of the different impacts they might have.

    Mixed gender forces on the frontlines of combat zone is not a tested social science; who knows how many new challenges this will introduce, and are we prepared to face them or fund them? I’ve spent a great part of my life working on and studying team dynamics and it’s true that as soon as you start mixing genders the level of internal friction goes up, emotions are heightened, and people behave differently. That’s not an attack on women or men, it’s just a statement of the nature of the human animal.

    I’m not a Santorum follower. This is possibly only the third time I’ve seen him talk, but I don’t think he’s making a huge fool of himself for being cautious and trying to look beyond the retoric of politically correct “What Should We Do???” questions which are the playing-field of our absolute extreme political ball game.

    • If he’d said something like “I’m neutral until we study it more thoroughly and determine what unanticipated effects such a move might have,” I might agree with you.

      That ain’t what he said.

    • “I’ve spent a great part of my life working on and studying team dynamics”

      You’re talking about fantasy football aren’t you ?

      • No. That’s hardly something I would call valid big picture experience. I’m talking about real stuff. Fantasy Tennis, Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Beach Volley Ball, Final Fantasy Tactics, Disney’s Fantasia, and a published journal article about the first Fantastic Four movie. So, I think I have a little bit of experience here.

    • I honestly do see your point, but how far then do we take this social science? Should we, then, not allow women to be police officers or astronauts, lest the gender imbalance compromise their dangerous jobs? Diversity – not just women, but diversity of any sort – almost certainly elevates the tension in a work environment. But homogenizing the workplace, or the military, is certainly not the answer.

    • Yeah, you’re right. There are no examples of women in combat for us to look at except for the armies of Israel, France, Germany, New Zealand, Canada, Denmark, Finland, Norway, Serbia, Sweden and Switzerland.

    • If you dig for a clear line behind his logic, it is pretty much this: men might not be able to control themselves and be manly military men if the womens are around.

      Any thoughts were similar “it’s the womens fault that men (insert whatever you please)” logic gets used?

    • I was going to continue this argument and state some really well thought out rebuttals, but then I found this picture and got distracted for a few hours.

      Anyway. I appreciate your responses. Well, except for the downvotes. That hurts a bit. I was really just trying to respectfully bring up an unspoken alternative perspective.

      Well, have a great weekend guys. I’m off to celebrate my little girl’s 3rd birthday. And I plan to hold her in my lap and hope she never has to fight for her country in a warzone, but I also hope she grows to find equal opportunity and freedom to do what she feels called to do in life.

  15. Women can serve just as well as men in any military position, front-line combat or not. Hasn’t Santorum even seen the Battlestar Galactica reboot!?

  16. Looks like Kelly has joined Gabe now on the front lines of polticsgum. Gabe, Santorum totally understands if that makes you feel confused and protective but also kind of turned on. You should probably fire her.

  17. quick question: is this a totally different publication than “Duh Aficionado,” or just some kind of insert?

  18. How much did they pay the black guy to stand directly in sight of the camera?

  19. I think what he meant to say was “I look forward to the glorious day when all of our men and women are living in Robert A Heinlein’s Starship Troopers.Also one cannot have gradations of uniqueness.

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