For those of you who haven’t memorized the nominee list yet, this year’s Academy Award nominations feature only two songs in the “Best Original Song” category — a song from The Muppets and a song from Rio. Super dumb. It sounds kind of like an accident they should’ve just fixed quietly, and is in spite of songs from Elton John, Mary J. Blige, and other artists that would have been normal enough being eligible. Haha. Like, there weren’t ONLY two original songs in movies this year, FYI. But I guess they ended up with two due to the voting process being complicated somehow. It was probably some kind of very complicated math problem and if you didn’t understand all the equations you were supposed to employ you just ended up with either The Muppets or Rio. And voters were like, “Uhh…did you get The Muppets?” “Yeah, I got The Muppets.” “Ok, phew, me too.” But right when you thought they they couldn’t take anything MORE from our Oscars traditions, LOOK WHAT THEY’RE TAKING AWAY NOW! From Deadline:

Deadline has learned that neither nominated song will be performed during the Oscar telecast as things stand now. We understand that both studios — Rio‘s Fox and The Muppets‘ Disney — formally protested the decision to skip but received turn-downs. ”It seems like a huge missed opportunity to me, and we certainly tried,” one song insider just told us. Said another song insider: “It doesn’t make sense. They could have so much fun with Muppets and Rio staging.”

Why don’t you just have all of the nominees show up in business casual, NOT have buckets of champagne at their tables or access to the cocaine dispensers in the bathrooms, and barf on each other’s faces instead of winning awards? Huh? Why don’t you just not have the Oscars at all, huh? WHY DON’T YOU JUST MURDER US? #BRINGBACKBRETT!

Comments (51)
  1. Song insider? I hardly know her!

  2. I think you’re missing the big picture here, Kelly. The main thing is that whatever happens, Phil Collins isn’t going to win an Oscar this year.

  3. The Oscars are to movies what religion is to atheists.

  4. I don’t know, maybe I just glamorize the opportunity too much, but I would think that Bret McKenzie (or any performer) would really love the chance to perform at the Oscars. The Swell Season looked like they had a pretty good time a few years ago.

    Performers that aren’t Randy Newman or Phil Collins just don’t get these opportunities all the time.

  5. I wonder if the “song insiders” were A Flat and B Natural? Ba dum bump. (Can I downvote myself?)

  6. I am so excited to not watch. Not even a joke. I’m going to take that four hours of my life and do something awesome. In your face, Hollywood.

    • Ah yes, but that is where a DVR comes in handy. I watched the Golden Globes in about 45 minutes. And I think it was on for 3 hours.

    • i’ve quit all award shows…but the oscars still has the draw for me, since i treat it like the superbowl halftime show. it’s a reason to get a group of friends together, make great food, and crack constant jokes.

      it’s like videogum in real time, only not at work.

    • I used have a hard time understanding that people don’t like the Oscars because I’ve only ever missed them once (and only because I was out of the country). Then one day I realized that the way I feel about the Oscars is the way other people feel about the Super Bowl, and you couldn’t pay me to watch the Super Bowl.

      • I don’t dislike the Oscars, this one just sounds fucking terrible. And the more they talk about it, the more exited I get that I am totally going to ignore it. I think I’ll go hiking or clean out my car or take a nap. Maybe all three!

  7. i see they are still strictly enforcing their new zealander moratorium.


  8. How did they not nominate Couer Volant from Hugo for best song.

  9. I think we all know which is the true best original song

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