Think of the craziest celebrity news you could ever hear. Now take it up a notch. Now turn it on its head. NOW DOUBLE IT! Ok, did you get “‘an insider’ telling OK! magazine that Russel Brand has been sending ‘funny, flirty’ texts to Zooey Deschanel, the celebrity woman who looks very similar to his celebrity newly ex-wife, Katy Perry”? You didn’t? You couldn’t have thought of that in a million billion blog years? ‘Cause it’s TOO SCANDALOUS and above all SO TRUE, PROBABLY? WELL! From OK!:

“Russell has had his eye on Zooey for a long time,” discloses an insider. “And he’s been sending funny, flirty texts to see if they can get together.”

The insider continues, “He thinks she’s hysterically funny and cute, too. He loves her quirky sense of humor, and thinks they’d be great together both on-and off-screen. There’s a real spark there.”

The actress is said to be “intrigued” by the idea of working with Russell, 36. “But she’s heard about his reputation as a womanizer, and isn’t sure whether she’s ready to rush into another relationship so quickly.”

It’s lucky that this insider happens to be BOTH a Russel Brand insider and a Zooey Deschanel insider. Lucky for us. So, obviously, congratulations to the happy couple. Zooey, Russel Brand seems like a beautiful man — certainly not the first man who comes to mind when asked, “Quick, think of the grossest man.” And Russel, you couldn’t have chosen a better woman to have in your life both on-and off-screen. I can’t wait for your movie and your marriage. Sometimes you don’t know what kind of celebrity gossip is going to fall into your lap, and sometimes it’s the most beautiful kind. But — What do YOU think about this Hollywood pairing?!?!! Plz send what you think about this hollywood pairing to MrsBrand@hllwd.gozzip/fun/true.

Comments (24)
  1. She and Him?

  2. He’s past the traditional 2 week post-marriage mourning period, so have at it, I guess.

  3. But does he appreciate her specialness?

  4. Nothing helps you get over the last one like The New GIrl.

  5. i just vomited all over everything ever.

  6. Ironically, Katy Perry was just seen having cereal with Jason Segel

  7. Since they look like bad drawings of each other I am going to rate this: PLAUSIBLE

  8. I never knew he spelled “russell” with one “l’ what a jerk

  9. is OK! printing celebrity fan-fiction ?

  10. I was trying to look up quotes from Arthur, then wound up on the original Arthur imdb page, and just reading through the quotes section made me happy. The original Arthur is a lot of fun.

    For instance:

    Arthur: Hobson, did you see that?!
    Hobson: [wearily] Yes.
    Arthur: She stole that tie! It’s the prefect crime; girls don’t wear ties! Although some do; it’s not a perfect crime, but it’s a good crime.
    Hobson: Yes; if she murdered the ties it would be the perfect crime. Why are you so happy about all this?

  11. Well I heard that Perry and Brand got divorced because Russell wouldn’t stop doing whippits off of her whipped cream canister bras. So all I’m saying is, in my opinion, I think Deschanel and Brand could work as long as Zooey either doesn’t own any whipped cream canister bras, or if she does, Russell exercises self-control and doesn’t do whippits off of them.

  12. in related news: Russel Brand and Zooey Deschanel have both fired their divorce lawyer.

  13. I’m going to type up fake gossip mag stories like this every time I have a crush on a woman. And I am going to send them to my mom.

  14. Dude has a type, I guess.

  15. “certainly not the first man who comes to mind when asked, ‘Quick, think of the grossest man’ ”

    This is an insult worthy of the Dowager Countess. I’m stealing it.

  16. Katy Perry is hot and so is Zooey. I’m learning to respect this russell brand fella

  17. I kind of like this. Think about how honestly awful that would be if you were Katy Perry and you found out your ex HUSBAND is now dating or trying to date the actress that looks like you. Even if it’s not true (and I’m 99 percent sure this is a plant), I bet her head is spinning.

    This is just some amazing fucked up post-relationship mind game sorcery. Plus, according to my sources (headlines I tried not to read on or at the supermarket or whatever), she dumped him. So that’s a hell of a way to get the upper hand.

    This is like Dangerous Liaisons meets middle school levels of awful behavior. And since I think all of them are living nightmares, I’m going to enjoy the hell out it.

  18. I like to think that if Russel Brand was Winston Churchhill, and Zooey Deschanel was Adolf Hitler, and it was 1935 instead of 2012, that a lot of tragedy and loss could have been averted you guyz.

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