eli_roth_selena_gomez

This is just a good photo of teenage Disney star and Justin Bieber lover/muse Selena Gomez eating some kind of parfait with Eli Roth, the creator of the Hostel torture-porn series. You might think it’s a weird combination, but that’s because you’re a NAIVE FOOL. Don’t you know that everybody famous knows and eats parfaits with everybody else famous? Come on, man. What magazines do you read? Just to give you a sense of how inter-connected and tight-knit the celebrity community is, here is who was eating desserts at the other tables at this dessert restaurant:

  • Emma Stone and Christiane Amanpour
  • George A. Romero and Uggie from The Artist
  • Judge Lance Ito and Jo Jo
  • Sporty Spice and John Hawkes
  • Jemaine Clement and Paul Pierce
  • Tavi Gevinson and Lil B the Based God
  • The entire cast of Bones and the entire cast of Downton Abbey
  • Beyonce and Marc Maron

See what I mean? It would almost be weirder if either Selena Gomez or Eli Roth were eating parfaits with someone that seemed more contextually, thematically, and age appropriate. THAT’S SHOWBUZZ! (Image via ONTD.)

Comments (40)
  1. “OK. I told him that ‘Roth You Like a Hurricane’ was a fine bowling league name. So why is he still staring at me?” — Selena Gomez’s inner monologue.

    • I suspect her inner monologue would include a lot more texting abbreviations and misspellings.

      • “OK. I tol him ‘Roth U Liek a Huricain’ wuz a fine bowling leage name. So Y is he still staring @ me?” — Frank Lloyd Wrong’s interpretation of facetaco’s approximation of Selena Gomez’s inner monologue.

        • But did she hang on to her butt (I hope people remember this and don’t call Chris Hansen)

          • “Access main program. Access main security. Access main program grid. Imputing the pass phrase, ‘OK. I tol him ‘Roth U Liek a Huricain’ wuz a fine bowling leage name. So Y is he still staring @ me?’ Hold on to your butts.” — Frank Lloyd Wrong’s imagining of lilbobbytables impersonating Samuel L Jackson in Jurassic Park using Frank Lloyd Wrong’s interpretation of facetaco’s approximation of Selena Gomez’s inner monologue.

    • Tyler Perry and Snagglepuss.

  2. Chris Hardwick and Ted McGinley

  3. That’s really weird; I hate to see parfait slumming like that.

  4. Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie

  5. Justin Bieber and John Waters

  6. Which Jo Jo?

  7. “Okay, so after we bring Selena a parfait, in fairly rapid order but not obvious…we order two more rounds of parfaits.”
    “You think she’s gonna fall for that?”
    “We’ll be very convincing. Now it’s time to turn up the volume, no more fucking around. We go to Banana Splits
    “Man, she’s not gonna eat a Banana Split!”
    “Dude, as long as a guy is buying ice cream, fuckin’ bitch’ll eat anything.”

  8. was this taken on set of a Wong KAr-Wai movie?

  9. Tilda Swinton and David Bowie. But they don’t know they are together. They just think they are sitting by a mirror.

  10. Paz de la Huerta and Mitt Romney.

  11. Ryan Gosling and a nomination.

  12. Nic Cage and Nic Cage

  13. Jeremy Irons and Raffi

  14. He is NOT looking at her spoon, I can tell you that much

  15. Matt Bellamy and someone famous

  16. Joe Rogan & a donkey

  17. Ann Coulter and the Old Man from Up.

  18. Mel Gibson and the Sklar brothers.

  19. Elmo and Terry Richardson

  20. Why is there so much imagining of imaginary strange duos and not very much imagining of imaginary things they are saying to each other. Are we waiting to see if this becomes a caption contest?

  21. “Am I photobombing you?”

    “No, Eli. We simply are enjoying are parfaits.”

    “Am I photobombing you … now?”

  22. lil b shouldn’t be dining with tavi cause of what he does (he goes in and fucks all the bitches)

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