Uhhhhh so, sometime around NIGHTTIME yesterNIGHT the world got word that Mayor Bloomberg, mayor of Gossip Girl City, declared yesterday “Gossip Girl Day” in honor of the show’s 100th episode. Obviously this is a huge honor and if you’re listening, Mayor Bloomberg, I definitely don’t care HOW many schools you have to close (all of them?) in order to make maybe every day Gossip Girl day, but YOU HAVE TO GIVE A GIRL SOME WARNING! So she can plan a party! At the Empire Hotel! In some kind of plaque-giving ceremony at Long Island City’s Silvercup Studios, a female intern wrote this for Mayor Bloomberg to say, via Vulture:
“I don’t have a whole lot of time to follow what New York magazine has called ‘The Greatest Teen Drama of our time,’ he said, feigning indifference. “But I am interested in finding out who the real Gossip Girl is–Serena’s cousin, maybe? And I don’t see how Blair could marry Prince Lewis while she is clearly in love with Chuck, although she and Dan became pretty close when they interned at that fashion magazine. And I just wish that Nate and Vanessa had been able to work things out, I guess Nate was preoccupied with everything that was going on with his father and Jenny and, I mean, it was a tangled web, I guess Dan would have ended up making their relationship impossible anyway, but I’m just a casual fan.”
I have so many problems with this, female intern. First of all, NO ONE is interested in finding out who Gossip Girl is. Second of all, what Serena’s cousin are you talking about? Lola, the REAL Charlie, or Ivy, the girl pretending to be Charlie who didn’t even know who any of them were before Serena’s Aunt hired to PRETEND to be Charlie so she could get her inheritance or whatever? Third of all, obviously Blair is not going to end up with the Prince. They literally KILLED A BABY to make sure there’d be no reason for that to happen. Fourth of all, Vanessa was the worst and no one wanted Nate to work it out with her and the fact that she’s not on the show anymore has made it 1000% better. GET ME TO WRITE YOUR BLURB NEXT TIME, YOU DOOFUS. Anyway here are some ideas for how to celebrate Gossip Girl day next January 26, SINCE WE MISSED OUR CHANCE THIS TIME AROUND.
- If you don’t live in New York City already, come to New York City.
- If you are a boy, dress like Chuck Bass. If you are a girl, DO NOT DRESS LIKE SERENA.
- Recreate this shot.
- Get a hotel room at the Empire Hotel, even if you do live in New York City.
- Order every drink on the Gossip Girl drink menu, if that still exists, and drink them all very fast.
- Go to the place in Brooklyn where you can see the apartment they use for the exterior shot of Dan’s apartment.
- OOOOHH sit on the steps of the Met.
- OH!! Go to Brooklyn Inn! Remember when Chuck almost bought it? Or maybe he did buy it? And Vanessa was mad or something, because of jazz?
- Go to Central Park?
- Have sex with everyone you know.
Ugh, I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S A WHOLE YEAR AWAY! At least, for those of you who are out-of-towners, you can get a good price on plane tickets. Let’s make this one for the memory books, guys. MEET BE BACK HERE 1/26/13!