Hey gals, how’s it going? I love your blouse! Where did you get that? NO. NO! I had no idea they sold those kinds of blouses at that store! You are always so ahead of all of the fashion things, you have to take me with you next time you go to a store. So anyway, guess what? You know that movie, What to Expect When You’re Expecting? “Based” on the book about how to have a baby? That you didn’t ever expect would be used for a feature film because of how there is no story to it, you’re pretty sure, just actually the kind of things you can expect when you’re having a baby, and a famous name, and then probably advice? Not that you know exactly because you’re not at a time in your life when you feel like you need to read that book, but from what you could tell from seeing it around it definitely didn’t look like a novel? Well, THE POSTERS FOR THAT MOVIE HAVE ARRIVED! If you shift your gaze slightly to wherever the image of Elizabeth Banks is on your screen, you’ll see the first poster, featuring Elizabeth Banks. VERY NATURAL! The thing I like most about it is that you can tell she’s very normal and pregnant by how she’s standing with a necessary arched back and a 2% pained and 98% glam face on. And the necklace. And the clothes. And the tagline, “I’m calling bullsh*#@$#@$, pregnancy sucks.” Sure looks like it, Elizabeth Banks! Human mothers everywhere know EXACTLY what you’re talking about, I’m sure. Brooklyn Decker, Anna Kendrick, Cameron Diaz, and Jennifer Lopez have similarly human posters that you can check out after the jump. WHICH ONE OF THESE NORMAL PREGNANT WOMEN ARE YOU, LADIES?!?

IDK about you girls, but I’m DEFINITELY either a Brooklyn Decker because of my scoliosis, or an Anna Kendrick because of my blinding wit. Though Jennifer Lopez’s blind, skinny hope is also something I strive for, as well as Cameron Diaz’s smellface and inability to reason the pros/cons of having a big rack and having a baby growing inside of you. How about you?!

Comments (65)
  1. If they really wanted to promote this movie they should have focused more on that line from the poster that says, “I’m like crazy horny.” Maybe making it the title is going a bit far, but make it a tagline at least.

  2. i dont know when this movie is coming out but i am going to stall any suicide attempts until after i see it. how is jlo going to nest without all the pregnancy chemicals??? who are half these people??? is it weird that i hope cameron diaz never ever has a child?? why do i hope that. probably because bitches be crazy and i am bitches.

    • additionally i would like to know why no one ever talks about how super weird elizabeth banks’ hair is. its like a weird overly teased mullet all the time?

  3. What To Expect When You Are Expecting: Finally, Something More Painful Then Childbirth.

  4. I can’t wait to not see this movie.

  5. Is this a joke?

    • It’s a real movie, so I think it’s more like a prank than a joke.

    • No, this is a for real movie that shows how pregnant women can be anything they want to be: horny, annoying, poorly dressed, Latino, Brooklyn Decker — literally ANYTHING!

  6. I have no idea who Anna Kendrick is (and obviously no easy way to find out), but in that picture she bears a significant resemblance to Lizzing.

  7. Brooklyn Decker? More like Double Decker! Cause of the belly, right?

  8. I can’t wait for Garry Marshall’s “DSM-5.”

  9. I can already tell from the posters b/c J-Lo is clingy to a book and not her stomach and she’s the only one saying that she wants a baby that she can’t get pregnant…until the last 5 minutes of the movie

  10. Any of you fellas want to get together for pizza and brewskies the night this comes out since all the Lady Monsters will be out for the night?

    • I’m in. Figured we might hit “Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance” first if that’s cool with everyone?

      • Just as long as I can drink a bunch of wine, eat unpasteurized soft cheeses and have a giant plate of sushi with me at all times.

        SUCK IT, BREEDERS.

      • Is it weird that I’m actually kindof excited for that movie? I mean, the first one was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, but I really enjoyed the Crank movies, and those guys seem keen on Batshit Crazy, which is my favorite Nic Cage mode. Plus Idris Elba! Right, guys? Right?

        • Ohhh, you’re talking about Ghost Rider. No, not crazy at all. I’m seeing it the night it comes out. Also while drinking wine. Because you can’t see Ghost Rider sober. That’s just a basic fact.

        • I am looking forward to Ghost Rider as well.

          A while back I did my own VGum Double Dog, inspired by Lindsay’s viewings of all the Saw films in a row, so I netflixed Crank 1&2 and watched them back to back. They were ridiculous. Utterly ridiculous. High Voltage was at least 4.8 times more ridiculous than Crank. None of my friends cared what i though of the films, and won’t listen to my reasons why i think they should watch them.

          When I heard the writer-directors were doing Ghost Rider, that got me excited. Hearing that Nic Cage gets to BE the Ghost Rider (unlike the first film, which was a stunt double wearing a green sock over his head) got me excited. Idris Elba is the shit. And now, having listened to the recent How Did This Get Made episode where they had on Brian Taylor top talk about the Crank films, I’m even more excited.

          The only things I was disappointed to discover were that Taylor and Neveldine didn’t write the script, and that it’s PG-13. But I’m hoping it’ll be fun. I have no doubt it’ll be ridiculous.

        • Guys! this is why I rec’d it! I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS NIGHT!

      • Made an Itinerary:

        5pm – 6pm: Meet. Beers. Fill flasks.

        6pm – 7pm: Trust falls

        7pm – 9pm: MOVIE! Drink flasks.

        9pm – 10pm: Discuss movie (high fives, make fun of people different from us, beers)

        11pm – 12am: Pizza. Beers. Practice slam dunking. Practice playing Halo. Practice unhooking a bra with one hand. Practice talking about liking certain football players and not liking other ones.

        1am: Lady Monsters done with movie : (

        Looks perfect. RSVP by next week please.

    • I got us shirts.

  11. This is actually just riding the last wagon on the New Year’s Eve / Valentine’s Day / Love Actually train right along with HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU hey remember that movie? it was based on a book, but it didn’t really have a plot, did it? I mean, who would believe Justin Long as a suave ladies man and not a moron? Nobody right? (Domestic Total Gross: $93,953,653)

  12. Did they really need to make a book and a movie about this? Isn’t the answer just “a baby”?

    Nokidso.

  13. This seems like the best place ever to announce…

    IT’S MY DOG’S BIRTHDAY!!!!

  14. Contrary to popular belief, guys are not attracted to “big racks” with baby’s attached to them. That’s like a girl trying to hit on a guy by say, “Hey, would you like to come over and see my newly remodeled bathroom? I put in His and Her sinks with a large walk in towel closet, and there is a Jacuzzi tub that would fit two very comfortably, and there is a padded bench where I like to put lotion on before I get in the shower, and a full sized toilet with a little bald man pooping on it.”

    As a side note. I should point out that most normal men are just as attracted to a woman with a clean bathroom as they are to a woman with a big rack. Take note women!

  15. i cant wait for the hilarious mucus plug scene!!!

    • IKR? Can’t you just imagine the goofy mix up where the doula forgets that her pregnant patient didn’t want a membrane sweep and so the doctor breaks her water anyway?!? Laugh out loud funny!!

  16. Mean Girls was based on “Queen Bees and Wannabes”, which is a sociological study of teenage girls with no overarching narrative. It’s pretty good, too.

  17. Uggggggh can we please call a moratorium on the “it’s just peeing on a stick!” jokes in pregnancy comedies? Not only is it totally lazy and overdone, but it’s not even true! Those things are crazy tricky and stressful and heaps of rules and regulations and whatever. Just try reading the back of the packet one time, Hollywood screenwriters!

    • “Pffft! Reading!” – Hollywood’s response

      • Amazon Review of First Response Pregnancy Test Instructions.

        One Star
        “The movie was so much better. This just goes on and on about boring stuff and I was like, get to the part where I pee on something already!”
        Username: Hollywood

  18. Hilarity? Is it hilarity?

  19. Jeez, we -just- had a comedy about weddings and now they’re making us girls another one about babies? We’re so lucky! It’s like Hollywood remembered my birthday and our anniversary!

  20. I for one won’t tolerate this nonsense. An all-female cast carrying an entire comedy?! Outrage! Everyone knows there’s no such thing as a funny woman–just a regular woman imitating a funny man. And poorly, too, might I add! This movie showcases my point rather brilliantly, if I may say so.

    BTW, I’m totally Brooklyn’s less appreciated step-sister, Staten Island Decker.

  21. I totally get the pregnancy test thing. But what about Photoshop, is it basically the same method? Do you pee on it?

  22. gross

  23. I am expecting to fucking hate this movie. I’m not sure what to expect while expecting that, though.

  24. My mom was actually pretty happy during her pregnancy with me:

  25. Aw, JLo loves that book more than she loves the little parasite in her abdomen. Now THAT’S relatable!

  26. I hope the movie is as educational as the book for us poor, dumb women, “if you have a craving for a milkshake DON’T DO IT!!! Don’t be so selfish and reckless. Just blend up some cottage cheese and soy milk! It will satisfy your craving without damaging your unborn child. It’s not about you anymore!”

  27. I forgot what I was going to say because now I want to vomit after reading “blend up some cottage cheese and soy milk.”

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