Mel Gibson is back in court, but this time he’s on the other side of the law: THE RIGHT SIDE. (This will be a blog post about a celebrity photo, and also a Hollywood pitch for my new legal drama, The Right Side.) Well, maybe. He’s actually just a prospective juror. Which basically means that he is not a juror. Are you kidding? It’s Mel Fucking Gibson. Even Gene Hackman in The Rural Juror would be like “uh, no thanks.” Why did they even let him in the room? Like, make him watch the VHS copy of the Jury Instructions infomercial in the holding room, yes. He’s an American citizen (wait, is he?) just like everyone else, and so he should have to watch the VHS copy of the Jury Instructions informercial just like everybody else. But then stamp his hand with a blacklight-sensitive rubber stamp (I know how law works) and send him on his way. No Re-Entry. Trust me, your honor. “Justice has been served. Check please!” (That is a line from my spec screenplay, The Right Side. Starring the puppet from The Beaver as Detective Male Gibsun.) I rest my case.
Winner will receive special mention in this week’s Monsters’ Ball. SUSTAINED! (Image via TheSuperficial.)