In Ohio, federal prosecutors are pursuing legal action against former state Cuyahoga County commissioner, Jimmy Dimor, on racketeering charges. It seems like this guy was up to a lot of no good. He accepted bribes from a former county employee, as well as helping out with business arrangements from which he got kickbacks, and also “seeking sex in exchange for political influence.” Eek! What a bad news bear! Put that guy in jail! Find him guilty through the channels of due process, but then put him in jail! The courtroom is closed to television cameras, which seems fair enough. I’m not sure how those decisions are made, and I looked it up on IMDB but couldn’t find anything, but in any case, sure. Got it. No problem. Except that this ban on cameras has lead one local news station, 19 Action News, to recreate the day’s proceedings USING PUPPETS and SILLY VOICES in a thing they are calling THE PUPPETS COURT. (Grandslam.) Hahah. Uh, what? Puppets Court. No duh. HI, OHIO, WHAT IS UP?!

HAHAAHAHHAHAHA. Oh boy. All the news that’s fit to puppets. “Can we keep a line clear, please? We’re expecting a phonecall from the Peabodys at any moment.” Powerful stuff. Brian Williams. (Via 19 Action News. Thanks for the tip, Mike.)

Comments (23)
  1. Now show me on the puppet where the commissioner touched you….now say it in a silly voice…

  2. That one puppet is racist as fuuuuuuuuu

  3. His name is Judge:

  4. You think THAT’S bad!? Wait till you see the Casey Anthony trial re-enacted by the cast of Meet the Feebles.

  5. although I general feel nothing but contempt for local news, this certainly sustained my brief interest. but the jury is still out on whether the motions are too distracting, or arresting. we can file this as evidence of new ways of appealing to new levels of audience interest. personally, i feel the station acquits itself nicely. so let us all bond over it. case closed.

  6. That was the weirdest episode of Crank Yankers.

  7. Puppets aren’t really unbiased in their portrayal of this creep, since you can’t get them to do anything without a hand job.

  8. Any time you put your hand in a puppet, it counts as “seeking sex in exchange for political influence.”

  9. They’ll definitely be covering the Sandusky trial this way, especially since as of Sunday there’s one less puppet they have to bother making.

  10. I don’t know. They look kind of stiff, like they all had a hand up their ass or something.

  11. This is like a combination of Mock Trial with J. Reinhold and the CGI reenactment of Leslie’s meeting with Ken Hotate about the Harvest Festival curse on Parks and Rec.

    In other words, AMAZING.

  12. That’s weird, I thought all of the puppets were in Washington for the State of the Union tonight.

  13. The best part is that Jimmy Dimora looks pretty much like Harry Monster.


  14. “I’M made out of felt? YOU’RE made out of felt! THIS WHOLE COURT is made out of felt!”

  15. “Court of law? More like court of LOL…”

  16. is nine tenths of comedy

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