I don’t know what it is about video cameras that make people think that using them to capture their baby’s dangerous activity is going to make their baby not get injured, but BOY OH BOY does it seem like people are under that impression! YOU GUYS! BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR BABIES! I don’t have a baby myself, but I have seen them before and them seem very fragile! And they have a soft spot! I don’t know for how long, but at some point they have a soft spot on their HEAD! AKA WHERE THEIR BRAIN IS! And they can’t eat some foods? And you have to make sure they’re not sitting in their own poop for too long? And basically you just have to be careful with them because they are difficult things to keep alive. And there are a number of things you should not let them do, for example: You can’t let them rock climb in a diaper, or fall out of a stroller into the street, or climb up a highchair that doesn’t look very stable, or be left alone with a dog that could bite them at any time because dogs are unpredictable even if you think they are nice and safe. AND YET.

Rock Climbing Baby

Baby Rolls Off Of Stroller

Hungry Climbing Baby

Baby Left Alone With Dog

I know the baby left alone with the dog trying to play fetch with it is adorable on the outside, BUT WHAT IF THE DOG BIT THE BABY!??!? It would be a very different video then, wouldn’t it! Probably one that wouldn’t be on the internet! And this all leaves us with one question:


Rock climber filmer? Stroller mom? Highchair climber filmer? DOG BABY? All of them equally? And also everyone else in the world? THE CHOICE IS YOURS!

Comments (26)
  1. Can we put an end to the notion of “childproof”? If you give a child enough time, they can, and will, do ANYTHING.

  2. Rock climbing baby, for sure. But only because that baby was higher up than highchair baby.

    The baby with the dog was great. You know what I learned recently when my friends had a baby? Their dog loves it very much and seems to actively look out for its well being. I think there’s some kind of thing with dogs where they just understand that there’s a fragile new member of the family that they would never want to hurt. Pretty cool, actually.

  3. The most dangerous thing you could ever introduce to a small child is a sibling.

  4. you show us a robot baby not one day ago. you expect us to believe that these are real?

    i think the person needs to be most careful with their baby is whoever the parents of the one that’s trying to run for president.

  5. A couple of things…most of those babies seemed foreign so the worst thing is the ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ problem…but they haven’t survived to adulthood yet!

    number 2: babies are SUPER easy to care for: feed one end, clean the other and shake them until they stop crying hmm…well, at least they bounce!

  6. My parents raised me in the Children of God cult, so this all looks pretty safe to me.

  7. Here! this will keep those kids safe, out of trouble, and nightmare free!

    • I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the wall at that product meeting.

      • “Bigger Yellower Cup Hands” – marketing whiz

        • “The straps should OBVIOUSLY come out of her chest instead of, say, her ACTUAL Backpack straps. It’s not like we can lower the shoulders, we’ll throw off the proportions!”

          • “Every idea we have is genius just everyone write down a good idea on this piece of paper, and we’ll hand the paper to R&D completely unedited. I have one about how the child can be seated inappropriately between her legs and weirdly proportioned lap. It’s a perfect idea like the rest. Bonuses!”

    • Also get the kids that laundry detergent or kitty litter in the back, both are fun for kids to play with and eat

  8. I’m not too familiar with rock walls but those footholds look too close to the ground, which leads me to the question: WHO BUILDS BABY SIZED ROCK WALLS??? AND WHY IS IT TALLER THAN THE PARENT?

  9. Here’s the thing about the dog with the baby… I actually don’t see anything wrong. If you know your dog and you know how your dog interacts with your baby, your instincts are probably correct in letting them play. The “will the dog bite the baby” argument is essentially bullshit — IF you know how they get along.

    That being said, the dog in the video was acting more aggressively with fetch than most dogs I’ve seen around babies. MY dog, an obsessive fetch monster, totally changes his posturing and patience when he’s playing with children. He is very gentle in teaching kids how to play fetch — it’s amazing to watch. And he’s never EVER bitten anyone ever in his 10 wonderful years of life. He knows his limits and he really does know to act different around kids. It’s crazy — he’s loved kids and babies since I got him at 8 weeks. Not me, I don’t like kids. But my dog does.

    And if adults are freaking out about the dog and the baby, both the baby and the dog will pick up on those cues and that’s when bad things happen.

    Also, my dog is cuter than your goddamn honor student. #bumperstickergum

    • I think that dog was on the assertive side, but it really looked to me like he was saying “Ugh, come ON, kid, figure it out! THIS is how you play with the rattle. Shake it! Like this! Now you do it! ….Gah I can’t stand it! Fer fuggs sake, do something with it! SHAKE IT! LIKE THIS! DOOOO IIIITTTT!”

  10. Stroller baby. The driver/camera man showed more concern for that child’s wellbeing than those parents did.

    Climbing wall baby is a close second. Splinters are scary, and that plywood climibing wall looks like it would sure cause a few.

  11. Rock climbing baby is amazing. They should cover the floor with cushy mats underneath and maybe put a harness on him (or her?). If you try to stop a kid like that, you’ll have high chair climbing baby–the most dangerous one of all. Those chairs can tip over! On top of the baby!

  12. Babies are pretty durable.

  13. Kelly, are all these baby posts your way of trying to tell us something? Like, maybe you’re pregnant with a robo-baby and you concerned about how to take care of it because if normal parents let their normal babies climb rock walls and high chairs and fall into the street, what craziness will your robo-baby who has superhuman strength and intelligence and mobility and no soft spot be able to do? KELLY?

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